So it was on a day like today, cold and rainy in the same manner as all my cold and rainy days appear to be becoming, that I ventured out under the shade and protection of my umbrella in search of the elusive suit. I was dressed, as was the fashion at the time, in my fading jeans, and button up shirt. Respectful sure, but not in the sense of self that I was hoping a suit would bring. All day I ventured from store to store. I went to all price ranges, from Men's Warehouse to Armani, from Value Village to JCPenny in search of the suit that would bring me the comfort I was searching for. An entire day wasted away under the gloom of rain clouds and the flouresence of the changing room lights until, when after another unsuccesfull attempt it was dark out and I decided I'd take the following day off from work and renew my search in the morning.
After a quick breakfast, I jumped out into the rain, popped my umbrella up, and started off again for the elusive suit. Toward the middle of the day, just after I had eaten lunch, I ventured into a little suit shop that I hadn't noticed before, so quaint and of such inconspicous design and station that I was nearly sure it had always been there, though I could not recall seeing it on the previous day or any previous day for that matter. The man who owned the shop, a small, gentle and laconic sort of man, immediately understood my need and went about designing what he described as his masterpiece.
Three weeks I waited for the suit, each day a little colder and more wet than the previous until I finally recieved word that the suit was finished. I immediately rushed down to the little shop and within minutes stood looking with the master suit designer at my side into the mirror. I have to admit that it felt good, but it wasn't anything near what I wanted and so as I was about to mention that the suit wasn't quite what I desired the old man told me to take the suit off and to never return. When I pressed him for the reasons behind his sudden turn to abrasiveness he said only, "You have ruined my masterpiece. You need a different kind of suit." I left.
After giving it a few weeks thought and much consideration on the last words, so to speak, of the suit designer I decided that he was right. No suit like what I had been searching for existed in the world. Those kinds of suits could only appease viewers of my exterior and I gave little credence to what they thought. I needed a different suit. A spiritual suit.
On the very next day I began my search for just such a suit. Within an hour I had found several places that dealt in such suits. They all advertised them for extremely minimal cost, in fact most for free, and all of them offered suits that would do exactly what, however arbitrary, it was that I needed. I was so exhillerated, astonished that I had never thought to seek such a place out before. I ventured from dealer to dealer, fealing out what suit fit best, and indeed some fit very well, others not at all, but none fit me as perfect as I had hoped.
Though they claimed the suits were free, all the dealers did in fact demand things of me. I found it somewhat odd how much each suit cost, not in dollars of course, but cost in a different sense. Now don't take me wrong here, any of the suits fit well enough that had the only price been a monetary one I would have gladly paid it. As I continued on my search from dealer to dealer I began to get the sense that none of the suits of the form I was looking for would be offered to me for free. That each dealer offered me answers and a comfort that I lacked now was what kept me going. For months I went out on the weekends from dealer to dealer looking for the perfect suit, the one I thought was right, even if just for me, but finally after some time I gave up.
I had decided early in my quest, journey if you would prefer it, that I was unwilling to pay the price each dealer I had ventured to requested of me. Their terms were too high, for I felt that asking me to agree that they not only were they makers of fine and good suits, but that their respective suit was the only suit that was really a suit at all and that all the rest were falsehoods, mythology if you would, incorrect manifestations of either mankind's imagination or that of some form of evil itself. They asked along with this a sacrifice of my freedom to decide for myself, and though this is pleasing on the cover for I would have always an answer to the difficult questions of life, that answer could possibly never be my own. I had to give up my answers, replacing them with answers of other men from other times. This price to me was of a far greater sum than all the money in the world.
So in disdain for their clever attempt to hide the price, their rouse if you would, I decided to venture into the questions on my own. Over the course of my life since this experience I haved
answerws several questions as best I could, agreed with several answers that wiser men and women had ventured to relay to me, and have left unanswered many more questions. Like I said I still don't have a suit, and I don't know if there exists a dealer with a suit that is right for me, but I do have something that I think a lot of suit owners, even the luckiest ones, with the most comfortable fit don't have. Though I don't have answers to all the questions like they do, the answers I have are truly mine, and so I truly belong to myself.
If you pick anything up from this story, just remember that even if the suits fits, you must consider the price, and ask yourself, "Am I really willing to pay?" for if you don't you may end up one day having all the answers, but never feeling uncomfortable in the suit. And never forget that even though you wear the suit now, you can take it off at any time. Now I know little of the world, and understand little even of what I do know of it, but I know that the answers I have found are the thread of my suit and though it is incomplete, for I lack all the thread needed, it fits more perfectly than I could ever dream, and more perfectly than any other could ever make. Make your own suit.