Mrs. Cable repairman, no sooner having emptied the contents of the hot chocolate into her mouth, realized an absolute truth that explained every theory pertaining to the universe. She, was, a, very, obese, monkey.
Suddenly, out of somewhere that everyone calls nowhere but really is nowhere except that no where is there somewhere that is nowhere, there was an elephant. It cried in the most screeching manner, "Today is Monday?!?" and proceeded to spend the rest of her day diligently scratching her nostril. As a reward, her nostril gave her 200 nose hairs, plus tax. And, she won a fabulous coupon for a twn inch haogie at the nearest wawa. But not just any old hoagie. This hoagie was specially designed to give the consumer the full thrill of its wonderfully crafted aerodynamics, speed, stability, and purplish-ness.
"That's wonderful!" yelled April VI, "I've been searching all my life, and finally, I have THE PURPLE HOAGIE! WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
But then suddenly, a loud booming voice was heard amidst the background of the whispers of an anxious audience. "IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?????"
"NO!" screamed April. "That is NOT my final answer! I declare myself a turtle! I like to eat cheese! I live in a pair of pants that belong to Bob! I belong to the World Wrestling Federation on the planet Krypton! I want to spread my message of peace, prosperity, and wrestling to all nations of the universe! I, leader of the WWF, would like to use a lifeline. Suddenly, peals of thunder and lightening appeared. April shrieked in unexpected delight! WOWIE!
This is so amazing, man! The phagocytic organisms in the garden soil have the ability to eat mice. Not only can they eat mice, they can use their remains effectively to form very accurate and very complicated crossword puzzles that they mass syndicate to newspapers around the globe. Scientists have determined that certain ionic differences in their DNA allow them to create these massively popular forms of entertainment.