Since having depicted Mr Meathead as a crackheaded, negligent, and awesome teacher, it is time to portray my classmates in an equally complementary light! I present to you Mr Meathead 2!
"Alright class. Turn to page 569 in Gullivers Travels." Mr M said.
"We don't have that page," says Mike.
"Alright then. Turn to page...782...no. Turn to chapter 5 of book 4...maybe paragraph 6...it begins with 'I am about to'," Mr Meathead suggested as he flipped randomly through his book.
"It's not there," Mike said.
"What? How about we try..." Mr Meathead pondered deeply.
"I found it. It's on page 345." Mike said.
"Oh that's what I meant. Class turn to page 345."
"It's not in mine," Alex said.
"Yours is on page 344," Mike told her.
"Can I have a book?" John asked.
"Yes," Mr. M gave him a book. "Now you all should know the stuff on this page. You're a lucky class this year since I've never remembered to teach this stuff before."
"What page are we on?" Mona asked suddenly.
"Page 765," Mr M said.
"We don't have that page, Mr M," Mona informed him and then asked, "Mr M are you joking?"
"No never. I swear it's in your book if you look hard enough."
The class laughs. A sympathetic Alex tells her the page.
"There's a couple more things I forgot to teach you, but I forget what they are. So instead I'll teach you some things that will definitely not be on the test tomorrow." Mr. M said.
The Sunil Shut-Up Game
"So, Mr. M, what is the Gulliver's Travels test going to have?" Jason asks.
"What?" Mr M asks.
"No, no, Mr. Meathead," Sunil cried defensively, "What Jason wanted to know was how you'd form the questions. He wants to know if you would have multiple choice, true and false, matching, or short answers on the test. He also wants to know whether you'd test quotes. "
"Wow. Really?" Jason asked.
"Well what is the answer?" Sunil asked testily, " Alright class, then it's decided. The test is thursday and it will have multiple choice and short answer--Am I correct Mr. Meathead? We also need more homework and other busy work. I highly recommend that you give us some."
"Yes..." Mr. Meathead answered and with some thought, "Well class, then since Sunil has decided that it's--"
"Wait, Mr. Meathead," Sunil interrupted again. "I'd also like to schedule our upcoming vocab test and--"
"SUNIL! SHUT UP!" Laura shouted, "I'm sick and tired of your voice! GOD! Right Brooks?"
"Yeah," Brooks agreed and he shouted, "Sunil SHUT UP!!!"
More cries of "Sunil SHUT UP!!!" and "Yo, Sunil I could kick yours anyday" and "Sunil BE quiet or you're getting a beat down!" ensued from all sides of the classroom.
"C'mon guys! That's right--wooooo!" Laura cheered her 'Sunil Shut-Up gang' and screeched, "SUNIL SHUT UP!!!"
"Alright! SHHHHH! Class be quiet! I am trying to learn." Sunil protested. "Anyway, Mr. Meathead, I think we should move on. We still need to cover...chapter 3 of book 2 and chapter 4-7 of book 4. Onward!"
"Yes. We should..." Mr. Meathead answered, "Alright class open the book to those pages that Sunil just said."
Pray For John
It is thirty minutes into class. John Fry wanders into the room aimlessly and suddenly dashes to his seat.
"What page are we on? Are we on page 578?" John asks.
"We're doing Gulliver's Travels," Mr. M answered and turned to the class, "Now back to our discussion--"
"You know I need that worksheet." John said.
"Yes." Mr. M hands him one, "Now back--"
"Mr. Meathead, I think we should resume our theology discussion from yesterday afternoon. So what is your stand on the virginity of the vigin mary?"
"I don't know."
"C'mon, Mr. Meathead, I'm looking for heated debate here."
"I--"
"I think that I'm right. The virgin mary wasn't a virgin. It's in the bible! Page 318 line 4 says it that she was a prostitute!" John said vehemently as he thrust a bible to Mr Meathead.
"Dude this is so awesome," Alex gushed, "I hope he talks forever. I love him!"
The bell rings.
