10:00am Listen to wife hint that �today is the day to hang up lights� as there are only 15 days until Christmas and the day is sunny and unseasonably warm.
10:00am Two weeks later, in a blowing rain storm, begin hanging up lights.
10:05am Dig through garage looking for the Christmas light box that is conveniently marked as �Easter�
10:15am Open up several �Easter boxes� and only discover that they are Halloween decorations
10:30am Find Lights in the Valentines Day Box. Take out mass of tangled lights that looks like an overgrown Boston fern. Begin separating lights by violently shaking them.
10:32am Wonder if that familiar tinkling sound is something to be concerned with
10:40am Extract one set of 100 lights. Plug them in. Wonder in amazement as 25 lights work.
10:41am Begin searching for light tester. Remember having it last year.
11:15am Give up looking for light tester
11:16am Begin randomly replacing lights in hopes of Getting lucky�
11:30am Realize that, at this pace, you will become lucky on your 75th birthday
11:45am Leave for store to purchase new lights
12:00pm Argue with store clerk that paying this much for lights counts as extortion in most civilized countries.
12:02pm Realize that you are not, as you had first hoped, in a civilized country
12:30pm Arrive home. Run over old lights you left in driveway.
12:35pm Look for ladder.
12:40pm Ask wife why she would loan out ladder given that you had planned, for weeks, to hand these lights
12:45pm Apologize profusely to wife for being a jerk
1:00pm Beg rickety old ladder off of senile neighbor
1:15pm Almost kill self on rickety old ladder while senile neighbor laughs
1:30pm String first set of lights
1:45pm String second set of lights
2:00pm String third set of lights. Be proud how fast things are going
2:15pm Realize you�ve hung them backwards and have no way of plugging them in
2:45pm Re-string all the lights
3:00pm Attempt to find extension cord
3:15pm Give up finding extension cord. Agree to left angry wife go to store to get extension cord. Describe proper type of extension cord in detail.
3:45pm Wife arrives with wrong extension cord due to fact you didn�t tell her.
3:36pm Angry wife storms off.
4:00pm Argue again with store clerk but this time on extension cords. Clerk will not take exchange.
4:15pm Plug in lights
4:16pm Realize that, even though they were new, that you should of tested those damn lights before stringing them up.
4:18pm Climb on top of roof with spare bulbs.
4:19pm Drop spare bulbs into gutter. Nice sound.
4:22pm Find tester that you left up here from last year. It doesn�t work anymore.
4:23pm Replace bulbs at random
4:30pm Rationalize that having a few dozen lights out is �no big deal�
4:31pm Begin climbing down
4:31pm Accidentally knock over ladder with foot.
4:31-35 Dangle precariously.
4:36pm Attempt to determine how to strangle child that came out and asked you �what are you doing?� and then walked back inside
4:38pm Realize that it�s much colder out that you had thought and that the rain has turned to snow.
4:39pm Decide that you can swing your legs up and onto the roof just like they do in the movies.
4:40pm Have a close and personal moment with God while swinging your legs up just like they do in the movies.
4:45pm Resist temptation to strangle wife who just asked what you are doing, at least since she has the common sense to get the ladder.
5:00pm Force your children outside to admire your half-assed job
10:00am Now that it�s July, your wife will ask you to take down the lights since the heat of summer is just around the corner and it�ll be too hot soon.
10:00am Two week later. It�s 90 degrees. Wonder if your wife will reset your neighbors rickety ladder that you just knocked over before you have a stroke dangling here.