7603 138th St. Ct. E.
Puyallup, WA 98373
[email protected]
All Rights Reserved, (c) 2002
Wordcount: 676
Dear Den 10 Parents:
I must admit that I had quite a time with your children on our recent camp outing into the Calamity Lake camping area. All in all, 14 boys of various ages attended the overnight trip last Saturday and everything went reasonably well. However, it has come to my knowledge that several horrible rumors may have surfaced and I wanted to set things straight.
First off, I can now confirm that we did actually have 14 boys. My initial count of 16 boys was most likely an error, most likely the result of the stimulation the boys received the first meeting when one of the mom's decided to distribute free cupcakes at 6:30 in the blessed morning. Anyhow, since it's been a week and no parent has called I've gone ahead and notified search and rescue to end their search.
Second, we did not get lost during the hike. In fact, I believe that most of the kids liked the hike the best. I believe the misunderstanding arose when I, using my honed scoutmaster skills, decided to test their sense of direction a bit as in "Does anyone remember where camp is?". We then discussed the various merits of taking a map and what happens when the scoutmaster accidentally leaves it in his truck. All in all, a very educational experience.
The nastiest rumor related to our campfire. Honestly, there was no way those flames went up 100 feet into the air! I thought 60 feet tops, but those rangers were not to be deterred in their wild estimate. Of course, it all made sense after I explained my doubts to the fact that there was enough dry wood in that forests to light a birthday candle, so, like a good scoutmaster, I showed the boys how to improvise. I purposefully siphoned some gas out of the car and showed them what happens when you light gasoline vapors while still standing twenty feet from the fire pit. A merit badge was earned for every cub who practiced stop, drop and roll!
And yes, they were fed. Whereas some of the boys (and the rangers I might add) had used most of our water in a vain attempt to put out foodstuffs that were inexplicably been left too close to the fire pit, I decided to introduce them to the culinary cuisine of mine called Cold Camp Crunchies with Cheese (Some boys called it uncooked macaroni and cheese out of a box. That was quite hurtful). Alas, not all was lost as our marshmallows appeared undamaged. However, we surmised that they must have soaked in some petroleum given their vivid blue flame, acrid smell and their reluctance to smother when being stomped upon.
After dinner, I had the boys setup their tents. The rumor that we had only one four-man tent for 14 boys and an adult was completely false. We had two. That we all slept in one was due to the rather remarkable thunderstorm coupled with imaginative young boys who apparently mistook one of the tents to be a bear. I, of course, was not fooled and only began beating it with a stick when I noticed that nobody was going to sleep in it and to prove that it was not a bear. I must admit though, that the game of "what was THAT sound" was a bit ill conceived and led to a few rather unfortunate incidents between scouts returning from the bathroom and other scouts defending the tent.
I think many of the boys were quite sad to leave the next morning. The way they burst into tears upon seeing their parents was quite moving and was what prompted my rather unique parting words of "good guidance". That some of you thought I was saying "good riddance" is, I think, in poor taste.
I am now planning our next trip. This one will be a "hotel camping trip" and am looking for a suitable location. I should return no later than your child's college graduation.
Regards,
Jim Bison
ScoutMaster