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| TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. |
| BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen". BRUCE LEE Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip). BUNNY-BOILER An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of that aeroplane blonde - could be a bunny boiler". DOUBLE BASS A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different. DRINK-LINK A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze. ETCH-A-SKETCH Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously. FLOGGING ON Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites. FREE THE TADPOLES Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks. FRIGMAROLE Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay. FUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHIT The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed. GOING FOR A McSHIT Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies. GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT A vigorous masturbation session. |
| AEROPLANE BLONDE One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. AUSSIE KISS Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. BADLY PACKED KEBAB A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia. BEAVER LEAVER A homosexual. BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning. BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from. BEER SCOOTER The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the beer scooter". BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. BOLIER SUIT The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night. BONE OF CONTENTION A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend. BREAKING THE SEAL Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. MILLENIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing. MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa! |
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