What does depression mean for me? It means being tired all the time and sleeping a lot, suicidal feelings, attempting suicide, hopelessness, lack of appetite, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and night terrors.
How Long?
I have been suffering from depression since I was a teenager. I have tried many different medications; with little relief. Some of them were: zoloft, paxil, ativan, effexor xr, topomax, celexa, lithium, manerix and wellburtin.
One of my favourite children's books is "My Many Coloured Days" by
Dr. Seuss.
It is a book about feelings and moods. It starts out like this: "Some days are yellow, some are blue. On different days I'm different too." I can relate to this book with how I feel each day. Some of my days are yellow when I'm happy. Some of my days are blue when I'm sad. I suffer bouts of major depression and dysthimia, chronic mild depression. My artwork reflects two moods- sadness and happiness. In the centre of the artwork is a person crying. To the right, the person is thinking about positive things. The person is thinking of a time when they were happy and the other of nature (which I enjoy). Then, the bottom of the artwork reads: "Think Positive."
One important thing I've learned when dealing with depression is to focus on the positive things in my life. Even though I am struggling everyday with depression, I do have things to be thankful for.
"Good Morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily.
"If it is a good morning," he said.
"Which I doubt," said he.
A.A Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
In diagnosing depression, health professionals use the following list of sypmtoms as a guide. Keep in mind, any diagnosis of depression must be made by a qualified physician, therapist or other health professional. Nearly everyone suffering from depression has pervasive feelings of sadness. In addition, people with depression may feel helpless, hopeless and irritable. You should seek professional help if you or someone you know has had four or more of the following symptoms continually or most of the time for more than two weeks:
- Loss of interest and pleasure in activities formerly enjoyed
- Noticeable change of appetite, with either significant weight loss not attributable to dieting or, weight gain
- Loss of energy, fatigue
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Persistent feelings of hopelessness
- Feelings of inappropriate guilt
- Inability to concnetrate or think
- Melancholia (defined as overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief) accompianed by waking at least two hours earlier than normal in the morning, feeling more depressed in the morning and moving significantly more slowly
- Disturbed thinking, a symptom developed by some severely depressed persons. For example, severely depressed people sometimes have beliefs not based on reality about physical disease, sinfulness or poverty
- Physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches
- Recurring thoughts of death or suicide, wishing to die, or attempting suicide
*Note: People suffering this symptom should receive treatment immediately!