| Things I Learned My Freshman Year Of College 1.) There's a point when dirty clothes become a fire hazard. It's known as laundry day. 2.) One bottle of 70 proof alcohol between two people on one night suddenly doesn't seem like enough. 3.) Sticky tack and masking tape still don't keep your posters on the wall. 4.) Just when you need to talk to a friend 300 miles away, your network will crash. 5.) The people who are supposed to come fix your computer are a figment of someone's imagination. Do they exist? No one knows. 6.) After half a bottle of vodka, Natty Light becomes bearable. 7.) No hall/floor/mod is safe from the "Real World Syndrome." Only you don't have a really nice house, you're not getting paid, and no one cares who's fucking who outside of the people you live with. 8.) No matter where you go to school, at least 5 of your friends are at least a four hour drive away from you. 9.) Quiet hours are a myth. 10.) It is possible to take a 2 hour "nap" between 6am and 8am and actually sleep between noon and 7pm and still get good grades. 11.) $400/ quarter will not suffice. Get a job. 12.) No one ever looks like the picture on their fake I.D. but they always convince themselves they do. 13.) Greek life sucks. Period. 14.) If you think the people you live with suck, come visit me and I'll let you spend a weekend in Mod B. 15.) One pair of jeans lasts AT LEAST three days. No matter what Erick says. 16.) At least one weekend a quarter, your fridge will be filled with nothing but alcohol, stuff to mix alcohol with, water to stop your hangover, food to eat when you're stoned, and various cups and shotglasses. You will find this hilarious. 17.) It is possible to a) smack your head when your drunk and be aware that if you were sober it would have hurt, b) know when you're not going to remember what you're doing when you wake up the next day, and c) get a hangover even when you think you never will. 18.) Just when you think the music can't get any louder, it does. 19.) Nintendo is twenty times more entertaining than Dreamcast. 20.) College is everything people make it out to be. 21.) Message to Bert: It's leather on suede, not duct tape on pleather. 22.) Law of Mod A: No matter what the bigger/better thing you have, people will always seek out the smaller and simpler. -Erick (And he should know. hehehe) 23.) Stay away from yogurt... People eat down there! 24.) If you live next to the girl with the birdfeeder, be prepared for White Breasted Nut Sacks to knock on your window at 8am. 25.) Mt. Becca: Climb at your own risk. 26.) If you're a tall college male, girls will only talk to you for one reason: because you're taller than they are. -Kevin 27.) A little murder never hurt anybody. 28.) Sometimes thinking rationally is irrational. 29.) You always need a walkway. 30.) Even if you don't win a single basketball game, you can still make it to the playoffs. 31.) Anything can be yoinked at anytime. 32.) Volunteer is a perfectly good word as long as you're not Tim. 33.) Kayte does not have any Barney tapes. 34.) if it walks like a man and it talks like a man and it looks like a man, it's just Crystal. |