"Shit!  Ouch!"

JC smiled, the ruckus his friend was making alerting him to the fact that things weren't going well that Monday morning.  He sat back on the chair and looked under the console where the cuss words were flowing from.

"Just, what's wrong?"

"Damn thing shocked me."

"Maybe we should call an electrician.  You have no clue what you are doing, man."

He noticed Justin's feet and legs backing out from under the table and whipped his head around toward the sound of a cell phone ringing across the room.  He walked toward the sound and then turned to Justin, "I think it's yours."

Picking up the wires and clamps he'd been fiddling with, Justin raised up, cracking his head on the edge of the console.  "Mother F...!" he whined as he cradled his head.  "Today is NOT a good day!"

He rummaged through his coat pockets with a scowl and a pout, nothing like JC had ever seen.  "Where is that damn phone?" he whined and when the ringing stopped, he threw the coat on the floor in disgust and heard a loud crack.  "Uh, J...?" JC began.  "That didn't sound good."

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes, placing his hands on his hips in resignation.  "No.  It didn't.  I think I'm going home.  It's only 9 AM and I've already almost gotten electrocuted, cracked my skull on the table and broken my phone."

JC grinned at Justin's obvious inability to deal with the day and handed his own phone to him so he could check the message.  He accepted JC's phone with a smile and dialed.  JC went back to work at the console. It wasn't a minute later than Justin came back and sat next to him.  "It was Shawna.  She wants me to pick her up for lunch today for some reason," JC heard him say.

"That's odd, isn't it?" JC said, wondering what she was up to now. It was common knowledge that of all Justin's friends, JC liked Justin's girlfriend the least.

Justin shrugged and looked at JC, "Why don't you like her, man?"

JC's distrust of her had been a problem in the beginning of her romance with his best friend, but he'd managed to keep it under control and his opinions to himself.  But he had never trusted her motives.  It was nothing he could put his finger on, but it nagged at him all the time.  He didn't think she was good enough for Justin, he was sure of that.  But he didn't know why.

"J, you know, it's just a feeling I have.  I have nothing concrete and I've tried to stay out of the way since you guys hooked up.  If I come up with something, I'll surely let you know."

Justin looked at him with a frown and then went back to pushing the buttons and twirling the knobs.  They still had a few hours before lunch and Chris, Joey and Lance were due any minute.  They all laid down vocals and then Justin left for lunch.  The rest of them stayed behind and worked through lunch.

Lunch time came and went and it was nearly 3 PM before JC looked at the clock and wondered where Justin was.  He knew Justin's phone was toast so he couldn't call him.  Around dinnertime, JC was starting to get worried.  He'd called Justin's house, his mom's, Shawna's, and various friends but found no answer.  He went home himself late in the evening and called all the same numbers again, to see if his friend had surfaced yet.  It wasn't like Justin to not be in contact a few times a day.  Around midnight, he called Johnny and the bodyguards started combing Orlando and checking in hourly.  They hit all the clubs Justin frequented along with movie theaters and restaurants.  Funny thing was, they couldn't find Shawna either.

JC spent a very long night pacing the floors of his own house before he cussed loudly, got dressed and headed to Justin's house.  He knew the keycodes and let himself into the property and then into the house.  He checked the garage finding all of Justin's vehicles accounted for.  It didn't look like anyone had been in the house either, the bed was still made and the mail was still in the mailbox.  There were no papers or notes around and JC couldn't account for any missing clothes or personal belongings.  It was just like Justin and Shawna had disappeared into thin air.

He passed out on the sofa for a few hours and then woke up to his cell phone ringing.  It was Lonnie telling him that they'd found Shawna and to come to the Compound.  Lonnie wouldn't say anything else which scared JC a little.  On his way out, he paused long enough to glance at some pictures sitting by the door.  One was of he, Justin and Britney, sitting around a table backstage at the Mickey Mouse Club studio. Another was just of he and Justin, arms around each others shoulders, smiling like dorks.  Justin had grown up so much since those days and JC found himself missing the little brat.  He didn't really understand what it was that drew the two of them together.  Their ages weren't close and seemed even further apart back in the MMC days.  But they clicked then and they still clicked.

As JC came into the Johnny's house, he found all the *NSYNC guys, all the bodyguards, Melinda, Johnny, and in the middle, crying, was Shawna.  "What is going on?" JC asked with his heart in his throat.  "Where the hell is Justin?"

Shawna just looked at him warily.  She'd never liked him either.  Her makeup was running and her shoulders were slumped.  As JC got closer, he noticed the skimpy clothes she was wearing and smelled booze.  He glared at her.  "Have you been drinking?"

Lonnie piped up, saying, "We found her in a dive downtown, drinking with some bikers.  We've poured her full of coffee but she still says she doesn't know where Justin is.  I'm beginning to believe her."

JC squinted at Shawna with distrust.  "What happened at lunch?"

The way Shawna's eyes darted to JC at the mention of lunch, JC knew that must be the answer.  "Shawna, tell us.  Please?  I'm worried about Justin.  No one has seen him since he left for lunch with you."

Shawna looked at him sheepishly.  "We had lunch at Guido's and afterwards, I told Justin that I couldn't see him anymore.  I met a guy in my office who I've been seeing for a few months and he's normal.  He's here all the time and not running around the world.  I need someone who is going to be around more than you guys are," Shawna blurted out, crying harder as she went. "I love him still, so much.  I think he was pretty devastated."

JC had to put his hands in the pockets of his jeans to keep from ringing the girl's neck.  "You bitch!  You throw Justin over for a guy in an office?  Why didn't you talk to one of us first so we could help soften the blow, at least!  Justin has never handled breakups well.  FUCK!" he screamed and sat on the chair opposite the crying woman.  "Where did he go, Shawna?!"

The girl shrank back from him, hiding a little behind Lonnie's arm.  "Why do you think I know, JC?  I left him at the restaurant.  He'd been driven there by one of the bodyguards.  All I know is that he was still at Guido's when I left."

"He was going to call one of us when he was ready, but we never heard from him," Dre offered.  "We just figured he rode with Shawna."

JC stood up and ran his hands through his hair, saying, "That's just great.  I hope he's not wandering around the city crying or something.  God, Shawna, I could just..."

Lance grabbed JC's arm that was going toward her and pulled him down on the couch he was sitting on.  "That won't find him nor will it solve anything," Lance said.

JC nodded and watched the woman who claimed to have loved Justin and then had callously cheated on him and broke his heart.  Justin had always been a chick magnet.  But they had mostly been flakes or gold diggers and he'd always gotten screwed over by them.  Yet, he kept trusting them with his heart and always ended up getting it stomped on in the end.  Where could he be?  No one JC knew had heard from him and that was so unlike Justin.

He silently looked at his cell phone and willed it to ring.  Ring, Dammit!  Justin, come on!

He forced himself to look at the odds of Justin being somewhere unable to contact anyone.  If some unscrupulous piece of trash recognized him and wanted to get rich, he may be held somewhere against his will. Or he could just be inconsolable and wandering around.  What if he wandered into some bad situation?  What if?  What if?

"My God!  Why doesn't he call?" JC screamed, this time at Chris.

They hung around for a few more minutes, waiting for something to happen.  Then they all decided that they'd go home and get some rest.  Johnny said he'd call them if anything was heard from Justin.  JC reluctantly returned home and climbed in to bed, exhausted and sick with worry.  Justin wasn't very wise in the ways of the real world, having been sheltered from it by his family and then his career for his whole life.  Did Justin even know how to use a pay phone?  These thoughts swirled in his head for about an hour before he drifted into a broken sleep.

* * * * * *

The smell of diesel was making him car sick.  The rumble was giving him a headache and the combination of the two were making it very hard to stay quietly tucked in the back seat of the bus.  It was dark out and his watch had stopped so he had no idea how long they'd been traveling, or where they were.  They weren't in a city, that was for sure.  It wasn't long until he had fallen asleep again, his head vibrating against the window, his arms hugging his coat tight around him.  He had thanked God that he'd thought to grab dark sunglasses before he left Orlando.  They kept the world out.

* * * * * *

Justin woke up several hours later when the bus stopped and he heard people shuffling around.  He opened his eyes and noticed that everyone, including the bus driver, was gone.  He climbed off too and found the bus driver to see where they were and how long until they left.  To his surprise, it was 12 hours since they had left Orlando and they were in Georgia, refueling.  He re-set his watch, jammed on his sunglasses and bought some donuts and milk.  He ate them quickly, finally noticing how starved he was.

As he finished, he saw a group of teenage girls hanging around the magazine section of the convenience store.  To his horror, there was his own face, smiling back at him off the cover of Tiger Beat.  One of the girls picked up the book, pointing at his picture, saying something to her friends.  Justin scooted behind an aisle display and looked around.  He needed a hat.  His eyes were covered but one look at his famous curls and he'd be sunk.  Who would think that the most famous boy of the most famous boyband would be riding on a Greyhound and shopping for donuts in a convenience store in some little town in Georgia?  He didn't want to find out.

There was a display of baseball caps which he quickly checked.  No, he couldn't have the baby blue one.  That'd be too noticeable, because every teenage girl in America knew his favorite color.  Here.  He'd pick JC's favorite and he tried the royal blue one.  Well, pulling it out to the maximum size, to accomodate his longer hair, it fit ok.  What he really needed was a haircut and a dye job but he purchased the cap and took his seat in the back of the bus.

It wasn't long until he was sleeping again.  He slept for 4 hours more and then woke up to the sunshine in his eyes as the sun went down.  He grabbed the cell phone he'd gotten before he left town.  This was his link to his life.  He didn't really want to deal with it right now, but he missed his friends and family.  He'd been with either his family or his bandmates all his life.  He knew they'd probably be worried.

He hesitated for a few minutes before dialing JC's number.  It was only one ring before he heard JC, sleepily saying, "Yes, what?  Talk to me."

"Josh?" he said timidly.

"Justin?!  Are you ok?" JC said, with relief.

Justin could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.  It was good to hear JC's voice.  "Yeah, I'm ok," he whispered, wiping his eyes and trying to be inconspicuous to the rest of the passengers.

"What happened?  Where are you?" JC asked excitedly.

"Oh, I don't know.  Somewhere in the middle of nowhere," he said with a sigh.  "Jayce, Shawna dumped me."

JC was quiet for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I know.  When we finally found her, she was drunk in some bar downtown.  She told us."

Justin wasn't saying anything so JC knew he was probably crying. "Just?  Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," he whispered in a shaky voice.

"Come home, J."

Justin shook his head and then realized JC couldn't see that.  "I don't want to.  It reminds me of her too much right now."

"You can stay with me or one of the other guys.  Just come home, ok?"

Justin clicked the END button and disconnected from his friend and his life.  He didn't want to answer questions or deal with the break up.  He needed a vacation, just a little time to get his act together before returning to the business of being *NSYNC.  He sighed as he watched the countryside going by.  He'd boarded this bus because it was heading across the country away from the glitzy lights and all that he'd been a part of.  He usually went to some beach house on a deserted stretch of ocean to regroup, but that all held too many memories of Shawna and his life with her.  He wanted to get away from crowds and the resulting attention.  He wanted peace and quiet.  He looked around the bus and hoped he was going in the right direction.

* * * * * *

JC didn't sleep a wink the rest of the night.  He could still hear the pain in Justin's voice and winced everytime he pictured his buddy trying to travel incognito, alone, for the first time.  He'd certainly been enough places in the country, so it wasn't too scary, but he was still alone.  And heartbroken.

He decided after that night of tossing and turning that if he could figure out where Justin was headed, he'd join him.  They had been close for a long time and Justin's tears had always made him feel sad and overprotective.  When Justin needed him, he had always been there to talk and help in any way he could.  In return, he knew Justin counted on his support and loved him for it.  The devotion between the two, at times, confused their bandmates but was a constant reminder of how close they all were.

* * * * * *

*Somewhere in Nebraska*

Ca-chunk.

Ca-chunk.

Ca-chunk.

Justin wondered why the dial tone on payphones always sounded funny.  He sighed wishing he'd remembered to grab the cell phone, but he'd left it on the bus and he was waiting for his burrito to cook in the microwave.

"Damn, it's cold.  C'mon Jayce.  Please pick up."

"Hello."

"JC, it's me."

"Curly?  It's about time you called.  It's been 2 days!  Where are you and why did you hang up on me?"

Teeth chattering, Justin shrugged.  "I'm somewhere in Nebraska, I think.  I've lost track.  It's fucking cold here.  It's March, you'd think it'd start warming up!"

"You've been riding for 2 days and you're only in Nebraska?" JC couldn't help but chuckle.

"The bus had a flat tire somewhere in Missouri," Justin said softly, glad to hear JC's voice.  "I'm sorry I hung up on you last time.  I didn't want to talk."

"Now you do, Just?"

There was a pause and JC could hear people talking.  "Sorry, Doris needed a quarter.  Yeah, I want to talk.  I miss you."

"Then come home..." JC began.  "Wait!  Who is Doris?"

Justin said, "Doris is a nice old lady who let me borrow her gloves.  My fingers were turning purple.  She bought me a ski hat too 'cuz she said the tips of my ears looked frozen.  She made me throw the baseball cap away though which bummed me out.  It reminded me of that old beat up blue one you wear."

For some reason, at that moment, that was the sweetest and coolest thing JC had ever heard.  There was silence on the line and then Justin said, "Doris wants to adopt me, I think.  Oh, hey...she just bought me some gloves too.  Cool."

"Just?  I hate to intrude on the bonding you two are doing, but when are you coming back to Florida?  Johnny needs to know."

"I'm not even where I'm going yet, C."

"What does that mean?  Do you really know where you are going?  Do you actually have a destination in mind?"

"Yeah, I think so.  Doris gave me the idea, actually."

JC waited and heard Justin say, "Oh, I gave Doris my last quarter and I have to pay again.  Shit."

The phone went dead and JC pulled it away from his ear and just looked at it, shaking his head.  Justin was really quite precious without even trying to be.  But then he'd always known that.  He missed the kid.

* * * * * * *

Before climbing on the bus in Nebraska, Justin hugged Doris and thanked her for taking care of him.  He shared his burrito with her and his seat for the next few hours.  He liked her because she didn't talk alot and liked to hum softly while she knitted.  It put him right to sleep.

* * * * * * *

A few days later....

Knock.  Knock.

"Hmmmm....?"

Knock.  Knock.

"Yeah?"

Knock.  Knock.

"Just a sec..."

Justin found his jeans in a pile on the floor and pulled them on as he hopped to the door.  Opening it a crack, he squinted out at the woman standing there smiling at him.  "Good Morning, Justin.  Breakfast is ready."

"Uh, it's very early," he said softly, licking his lips and opening his eyes wider.  "What time is it?"

"It's 7 AM.  Time to rise and shine!  Fifteen minutes, ok?"

He watched the woman turn and walk away with entirely too much zip in her step that early in the morning.  Yawning, he closed the door and found his t-shirt.  It was chilly.  He swore that he saw his breath when he flicked the switch, illuminating the room.  He looked around the room for the first time, having ignored it last night in his rush to sleep in a real bed for the first time in a week.  He peered at the pictures of mountains and deer and lakes and streams for a moment and slipped on a pair of socks.  The hard wood floors were cold too as he walked down to the bathroom, where he took a shower and brushed his teeth.  That felt good too.

When he joined to innkeepers for breakfast, he was astounded at the spread laid out on the table.  Eggs, bacon, sausage, steak, hashbrowns, toast, bisquits, gravy...it was more food on one table than he'd seen in his life.  And there didn't seem to be anyone except himself and Maggie's husband, Henry, there to eat it all.  Oh yeah, and he was starving, so they dug in and he ate until he was almost ill.

They made small talk and he found out more than he ever wanted to know about the area.  When he had gotten in last night, he'd called a cab and showed the driver a picture he'd ripped from a travel magazine he'd read.  It had been a long drive and the road had been so curvy that he almost got carsick, but here he was, eating breakfast at the Meadowlark Spring Ranch.

The people were nice at least.  The woman, Maggie, had pulled him over in front of the fire the minute he'd walked in last night.  She rubbed his hands between her own for several minutes.  His teeth chattered for what seemed like forever and she fed him some hot soup, of which he gladly consumed 3 bowls.  When she finally showed him to his room, he was barely awake.  He didn't mean to be an unthankful guest, but he hadn't slept in a bed, showered, or eaten anything substantial in a week.

They didn't know who he was and they didn't ask questions.  His next order of business was to find some clean clothes.  To his horror, Maggie told him that there was no clothing stores around for 50 miles or so.  He was shocked to hear that they didn't even have a post office.

Maggie did some laundry for him while he took a nap and called his parents.  He assured them he was being taken care of and that he'd be home in a week or two.

Upon hanging the phone up, he remembered what he'd dreamt during his nap.  JC's eyes?  JC's eyes, watching him.  A whole lifetime of knowing those blue eyes and knowing that he could depend on them to always be warm and caring.  It was the first time, however, that he'd dreamt about his friend.  He needed some air.  Luckily, having hung out in his room for most of the afternoon, Maggie had delivered his freshly laundered jeans and red t-shirt, so he put them on and bundled up.

As he walked outside, the cold air froze his lungs immediately and his nostrils stuck together.  Wow!  The air was thick with crystals and he could see his breath.  And the light!  The sun rays bouncing off the snow that seemed to cover everything as far as he could see, was positively blinding.  The air, in ice form, coated every branch and twig of every tree he saw, making even the biggest tree look like a giant snowflake.  And the sky!  He'd never seen so much blue sky.  The contrast of the white sparkly snow and the blue of the sky had him mesmerized for a few moments.

He kept thinking how much JC would love this, minus the chilly air.  His friend was into painting right now and the landscape here would surely inspire him.

An image of JC smiling and laughing floated through his mind. For some reason, he really missed him right now.  Justin frowned and shook his head.  What was up with that?

"Maggie!" he yelled as he clamored back into the house.  "Which way is it to town?"

Maggie smiled at him shivering in his beige leather jacket that had seen better days, dark blue ski hat, black gloves, jeans and sneakers.  "Well in this temperature, you aren't going to make it dressed like that.  It's 20 miles, dear," she smiled.

"I wanted to go make a phone call and look around town."

"Well look around here because what you see is what you get.  You're not dressed for a 20 mile walk in 20 degree weather.  You don't have enough fat on your bones.  You won't stay long on your feet in those shoes either."

Justin frowned.  "Maggie, is anyone going to town today?"

"Yes, I think Henry is going shortly.  Maybe you can hitch a ride with him?" she said as she walked back into the kitchen.

Justin went back outside.  This was sure a different world.  There certainly weren't a lot of people around.  It was surely quiet.  He couldn't hear a thing, except a cow mooing.  A cow???!

He just wanted to call JC.  He didn't want to do it around people.  Ripping off his glove, he took his cell phone out and dialed the number quickly, and then shoved his glove back on.  Here he was, standing in the middle of a country road without a soul around.  The air both froze and cleansed him.  The colors were brilliant.  He wanted Josh.

The line picked up on the other end.

"Josh?"

"Justin?"

"Yeah, man, it's great to hear your voice."

"Really?  Where ARE you, man?"

"You'll never guess...in a million years," Justin said as he scanned the mountains that reached high into the blue sky.

"Hmmm...I'll never guess?  Then, just please TELL ME!"

"Calm down.  You need a vacation, man."

"Just...."

"Ok, ok!  I think I'm in paradise.  It might me another planet, actually, cuz I don't think paradise is this damn cold.  It's definitely somewhere I've never been.  Oh, and there are only 2 people within 20 miles of me.  And I can't hear a damn thing, it's so quiet.  I think I may have gone deaf."

JC smiled at the wonderment in Justin's voice.  He sounded like a little kid, describing a new experience.  He missed him.  He missed THAT Justin.  "OK, so we've established all of that but you haven't told me where you are exactly."

"Hell, JC.  That is the point.  I'm nowhere.  I'm not IN a town.  I'm standing here looking at a huge mountain range.  It's like the Alps here.  Remember Switzerland, Jayce?  This could pass for it...."

"Justin, if you don't tell me where you are, I'm going to hang up on YOU!"

"Jayce."

"What?"

"I really think you should come up here and join me.  It'd do you good, man.  It's like soul-cleansing or some of that weird shit you like to talk about."

"Soul cleansing, huh?  Have you thought about Shawna and what happened?  That IS what you were doing running off like that, right?"

"Shawna?  I don't know anyone by that name.  Don't ruin my moment, Josh."

"I'm just saying...."

"Well keep it to yourself.  I've been busy, logging new experiences and stuff.  It was a TRIP just getting here, my friend!"

"You still haven't told me..."

"Jayce?"

"What?!" he was becoming more frustrated by the moment.

"I think the brochure said the place is called Paradise."

The dreamy quality of Justin's voice made him wish he were there to see the look in Justin's eyes as he said it.

"It's called Paradise?  Have you lost your mind?"

"Fine.  Hang on.  I'ma ask Maggie."

JC chuckled as he heard his friend muttering under his breath and stomping.  It then sounded like a screen door slamming.  He heard Justin saying, "Maggie?  What's the name of this place?  The next town?"

Loud and clear, JC heard a woman say, "Paradise."

"I held out the phone toward her so you could hear it well, Smartypants," Justin whispered into the phone.  "Thank you, Ma'am."

"Hey, that's Mr. Smartypants to you, kid."

"Come on, Jayce.  Come to Paradise.  You won't have time to think about work.  There's too many new things to smell and look at and listen to. You could do your painting thing.  Maggie's a great lady.  Henry's taking me to town later."

"Justin?  What state are you in?"

He heard Justin laughing now and could almost picture his big, mega-watt, sunshiney smile.  "The state of euphoria, man."

"Just...."

"Montana, man.  Freakkin' Montana!"

"Where the hell is Montana?" JC screamed.

"Exactly," Justin said softly.  "I know we've seen snow before and we've been through rural areas, but this is just breathtaking.  My buttcheeks are frozen now, so I'ma go sit by Maggie's fire."

"You should really do some thinking about Shawna, Justin.  Deal with it now, don't wait.  You have all the time in the world up there and Maggie is there to take care of you."

That sounded odd to JC, coming out of his mouth.  At that moment, he realized that HE wanted to take care of him.  HE wanted to help Justin deal with it.  And Justin was in the damnable boonies of Montana.

Justin's buttcheeks?  That was an image he didn't need right then.  Images flashed through his mind as he remembered the many times he'd roomed with Justin or snapped him with towels after showers.  Wrestling competitions they'd had through the years came to mind too.  The feeling of Justin under him or leaning over him.  The competitive sparkle in his eyes that always egged JC on.

The fact that Justin chose strangers in a strange land to seek comfort from hit JC strange too.  JC was his best friend.  Everyone knew that. Yet, Justin ran the other way in a time when he needed friends most.

"Just?"

"Yeah?  Awww...whoa, now this is heaven.  Maggie has a big, fluffy blanket here on the sofa.  The fire's just snappin' and poppin'.  Mmmmm.  Paradise."

"Do you even know where in Montana you are?  I'm looking at my atlas and it's a huge state."

"Uh, well, we are in the mountains.  Lots of mountains, man."

"There are lots of mountains in Montana, Just."

"Damned if I know, JC.  Go look it up.  I'm not a library.  Oh, wow, Maggie made me hot chocolate with whipped cream on top.  Thanks ma'am."

"Why are you staying in those peoples' home?  Did you just knock on the door of some farmhouse and ask if you could stay?"

Justin chuckled and slurped his hot chocolate in JC's ear.  "It's a guest ranch, duh."

JC could hear more talking in the background and then Justin came back on.  "Yo, C, I have to book.  Henry wants me to help him carry some stuff to the basement.  Then he's going to town and I am hitching a ride.  I'll talk to you later.  Tell everyone hi for me, ok?"

"Yeah..." JC barely got out of his mouth when the connection went dead.  "Justin?  Doing manual labor?  I think he's lost his mind."

* * * * * * *

Justin got all his gear back on with the help of Maggie who said, "Tsk, tsk.  Justin, you need a different coat.  This isn't made for winter.  Let me get you something else."

Before he could say anything, she was gone.  He looked down at the jacket, one of his favorites, and thought Maggie probably knew what she was talking about.  It probably would be best that he not to be spotted anywhere in that coat since he knew there were millions of photos of him wearing it, but then he didn't think people around these parts would even recognize him.  Mainly, the jacket wasn't made to be a winter coat.

Henry just shook his head and laughed.  "You city folk.  I'll be out in the truck."

Five minutes later, Justin was sitting in the truck still huddled down in his own jacket.  The coat Maggie had found was hunter orange and smelled like dead animals.  So he decided to take a chance.  At least Henry had the heater running and it was nice and toasty in the truck.  Driving to town was more of an ordeal than Justin had anticipated as the truck hit every bump and pothole in the road, rattling Justin around like a rag doll.  One time, damn it if he didn't crack his head on the window.  Henry laughed and slapped his shoulder.

As the approached some buildings, Henry stopped and parked diagonally facing the buildings, just as one other vehicle had parked.  Justin, frowned, scanning the area.  "Is this the town?"

Henry nodded, "Yup.  This is Paradise...population about 34.  Well, actually, it's probably 35 since Mary had her baby.  I'm going in here."

Justin watched Henry walk into a building with a sign over the door 'Stacy's Tavern' and didn't get a chance to say, "You're kidding!"

Walking about 20 feet, he noticed a small sign that said, "Welcome to Paradise".  He counted the buildings on main street...there were five. The tavern, a little tiny store, a cafe, something that said "Moose Lodge" and a pink house.  He had to force himself to close his mouth because his teeth were freezing.  "Unbelievable!  This is the town?!"

He only realized he was standing in the middle of the road when a truck slowed down as it rolled past.  It was a kid about his age, wearing a cowboy hat that was too big for him.  He nodded at Justin.  Justin nodded back and just watched him park at the store.  "Damn!" was all he was able to say.

He shivered as he dialed the number on his cell phone.

* * * * * *

"JC?" Johnny said with irritation to the young man staring out the window.

"JC?" again.  He slapped the table.  "Earth to JC!"

"What?"

"Are you in this meeting or not?  Where the hell is Justin?" Johnny said.

"Yeah, I'm here.  Obviously, Justin isn't."

"Do you know where he's at?" again, the question, as Johnny stared at him expecting an answer.

"I might."

"Well...?" Johnny snapped.

"He needs a little time away.  You know he just got dumped by Shawna."

Truth was, JC hadn't been able to think about anything since his discussion with Justin that morning.  He sounded good, considering he was out in the world, alone.  JC wanted to see for himself.  Justin had always been good at making things seem better than they were.  He also knew he was good at finding things to occupy his young mind so he wouldn't have to think about difficult matters.  Breaking up with Shawna was one such difficult matter and this adventure across the USA was avoidance behavior.

"Well, we need his input here," Johnny said loudly.

JC tried to pay attention to the meeting, but he kept replaying his discussion with Justin from that morning over and over in his head.  The meeting finally broke up about an hour later, and JC decided he was useless trying to work, so he begged off and went home.

His phone rang as he sat in his car and started the engine.

"Josh?"

"Yeah.  Johnny says you are needed here, man."

"Guess where I'm standing."

"In a cow pasture?"

"I'm actually IN Paradise, Jayce.  Listen..."

JC listened.  He strained his ears for a sound but only heard Justin's breathing.

Then he heard laughing and Justin say, "Is that a trip or what?  I'm standing in the middle of rush hour traffic in the middle of the street."

"Ok, I do hear something.  What is it?"

"That's my fucking teeth chattering, man.  Oh!  Wait, listen to that!"

JC just shook his head now.  He pulled his car over and turned off the ignition.  And he listened.  Nothing.

"That was a huge ass icicle that came crashing to the ground about 5 feet away.  What is a 'Moose Lodge' Jayce?"

JC laughed now.  He really was so precious.  "I think it's a fraternal organization of some kind."

"Why are they 'benevolent"?  Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah.  Just, it's a good thing."

"Ok, guess what?" he heard Justin laughing again.  "I just finished walking through town.  From the one sign welcoming you to town to the other one thanking you for visiting is about 100 yards.  TOPS!"

"Justin, are you ok?"

"I'm actually thinking about joining Henry in the bar.  Maybe he'll buy me a shot to help me warm up.  Oh, look, there's another truck.  No, wait, that's the same one leaving town now."

His phone beeped at him telling him he had another call.  "Hang on, Just.  I've got a call."

When he hit the hold button, he heard Shawna's voice.  "JC?"

"What do you want?"

"I need to find Justin.  Please tell me where he is?"

JC could tell she was crying, or she had been, or she was faking it for his sake.  "Why?  Why would I tell you that?"

"I miss him and I want to talk to him."

"You are joking, right?  Even if you were the last woman on the planet, I wouldn't tell you where he is.  Leave him the fuck alone."

"I still love him, JC."

"You know what?  I don't care.  He's getting over you right now.  He's enjoying himself in paradise, if you must know.  Go to hell, Shawna."

"Paradise?  Justin's in Montana?"

"What do you mean?"

"Thank you, JC!" he heard and she disconnected.

HOW THE HELL DID SHE KNOW ABOUT MONTANA?

"Just?"

He heard teeth chattering.  "Good thing you came back 'cuz I was just about to go in the bar.  Who was that?"

"How would Shawna know about Paradise?"

"We used to joke about it.  She showed me a travel brochure once of the ranch I'm actually staying at now.  That's why, when I saw it in the booklet at the bus station, it was familiar.  Why?"

"Oh.  God!  I think I may have given her a reason to go visit that ranch, Just."

"Was that her on the phone?  You didn't tell her I was here, did you?"

He heard the panic in Justin's voice and knew he'd made a huge mistake.

"Yeah, I did.  How was I supposed to know you two had discussed going there?!"

"Shit.  Now I do need a shot."

"Sorry.  I'm sorry, J.  Maybe this is a sign that you should come home."

Justin had stopped talking.  He imagined him staring at his feet, chewing on his bottom lip like he often did when deep in thought.  "I gotta go, JC.  I'll call you when I figure out what I'm doing."

The phone went dead.  JC silently kicked himself and threw the phone on the seat beside him.  He had just given that leech access to worm her way back into Justin's life.  JC started the car again and turned back toward the Compound.  "Where did I leave that map?"

He arrived back at the Compound shortly and rummaged around the recording studio for the map he'd been looking at just recently.  It was a map of Montana that he'd picked up at the travel agency.  He had to find Paradise.  With any luck, Shawna was more in the dark than he was.  At least he knew it was in the mountains, so he began scanning the western half of the state.  It took him several minutes and a look in the list of towns and coordinates to finally find the name.  Bingo!  There is was.  Not too far from an airport.  JC smiled.

Walking out to the car, map in hand, he made reservations for a one way ticket to Missoula, Montana.

* * * * * *

Justin stood in the middle of the street for a moment.  He wasn't ready for Shawna to sashay back into his life.  Who needed a cheating ex-girlfriend?  She'd ruin the good vibe he had going here.  Damn.

Walking into the tavern, he squinted his eyes to make out the decor of the dark little dive.  Warmth!  "Thank God!" he whispered as he jammed his phone into his pocket.

He stood next to Henry and looked at the bartender.  Henry turned to see who was there and then smiled.  "Gene?  This is our houseguest, Justin.  You're from Florida, right?" he said, nodding at Justin.

"Yeah.  This is a real shock to my system in more ways than one," Justin said softly, shaking Gene's hand.

"Want a drink, city boy?"

"That'd be great."

"You don't look a day over 16 years old, kid," Gene said with a smirk.

Henry chuckled.  "Give him a couple shots of Wild Turkey.  He's still shivering."

"If you'll be sure to take him home and pour him into bed, Henry."

"I can handle liquor.  Come on," Justin said, rolling his eyes, wondering what the hell 'wild turkey' was.

Two seconds later, he had two shots of amber colored liquid that smelled worse than turpentine, sitting on the bar in front of him. "Whew!  That is some wicked smelling stuff."

"It's whiskey, boy.  Drink up," Henry said, slapping Justin's shoulder with a grin.

Justin returned their stares.  He wasn't one to back down from a challenge so he took a deep breath.  "Bottoms up."

He poured both drinks down his throat without a thought.  A few moments later, he could feel smoke pouring out his ears and his throat seizing up.  His eyes watered and he coughed.  "Fuck!"

Both men were laughing, Henry with his hand gripping Justin's arm.  "Breathe, kid.  It'll subside in a few minutes."

Wiping the tears from his face, Justin looked at the bartender.  "Hit me again."

Gene obliged and Justin downed that shot too.  Both men were now looking at him like he was nuts.  "I think that's enough.  Henry, don't forget your promise.  Three shots will knock him on his ass," Gene said, nodding his head at Justin, who had stepped back from the bar to sit on the stool beside Henry.

He wiped his mouth and tried not to throw up.  "Thanks Gene."

It wasn't long before Justin was laughing at everything they said and propping his head up on his hand.  The room was spinning but he had the presence of mind to tangle one of his legs around the stool's leg to anchor himself.  He felt that any minute, he'd slip into a puddle on the floor.  He soon noticed that an older blonde lady had walked up beside him, and was sitting down, ordering a beer and chatting with Henry and Gene.

"Who's this?" she said, glancing at Justin, who was having trouble keeping up with the conversation.

"Justin.  He's staying with Maggie and me," Henry said.  "Justin, this is Susan."

Susan held her hand out.  "Nice to meet you."

Justin unsteadily took her hand and smiled, "Same here."

They sat there for a few more minutes, laughing at Gene's jokes.  Justin was drinking water now, although his head was still buzzing from the whiskey.  He thought it might just be the booze but Susan seemed awfully close and terribly friendly all of a sudden.  Next thing he knew, Henry was standing there and grabbed his arm.  "Come on, time to go, Romeo."

Justin stood up and the world tilted, so he grabbed on to Henry's shoulder.  "Thanks for the drinks, Gene.  Bye!" Henry said, attending to Justin who felt his legs had turned to rubber.

"Whoa, yeah, thanks Gene.  Byebyebye Blondie," he laughed as he realized his speech was slurred.  "Man, Gene, what did you put in that water!"

They all chuckled.  Henry managed to shove Justin through the door and into the truck.  Justin slipped down in the seat a bit and closed his eyes.

* * * * * *

Waking up several hours later, the first thing he noticed was the darkness outside and the little lamp on by the door.  He was laying in his bed, fully clothed, his coat lying on the chair and his sneakers beside the bed.  The world wasn't spinning anymore but his head was throbbing, dully, right behind his eyes.  He groaned and laid his head down gingerly on his pillow.  "What a wimp," he whispered.

He heard the door open and close so he turned to see who was walking in to his room, expecting to see Maggie.  He did a double take when Shawna's blonde image appeared.  He frowned.  Was this a nightmare?

"What are you doing here?" he said, wincing from the pain in his head.  He also checked beneath the covers to see if he really still had clothes on.  It'd be just like Shawna to ....

"I came as soon as I found out where you were, baby," she said, sitting on the bed. "You've been asleep here for over 3 hours.  You missed dinner.  Maggie says you came home drunk?"

Justin's head was spinning again.  Reality sucked.  He didn't want her ruining paradise for him.  "Shawna?  I don't remember inviting you."

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, holding his head, watching her warily.  She tried to touch his forehead and he shrunk back, glaring at her.  "Keep away," was all he said and he stood up, straightening his clothes and running his hand over his hair.

Shawna held her hand out.  He saw two aspirin.  Not wanting any physical contact with her, he held his hand out for them.  She placed them in his hand and was reaching for his face.  Justin groaned and ducked around her.  There was a pitcher of water on the table by the window and he downed a glass of it with the pills.  He could feel his stomach working at digesting the booze because he'd had nothing to eat since noon.  It made him a little nauseous, so he sat down and cradled his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Justin.  I was hoping we could make a fresh start here.  Remember how we used to talk about coming here?  It was always after a stressful time, you'd get his look in your eyes and we'd talk about running away to Montana.  You said it sounded like paradise, remember?  Then I found that brochure which made us both laugh because there it was," Shawna said as she sat next to him on the sofa.

He could feel her rubbing his back like she always had.  It had always calmed him and they usually ended up making love.  He looked at her.  "I don't even know you, Shawna.  You cheated on me with some nerd from your office.  Talk about being kicked in the gut!"

They were interrupted by a soft rap on the door.  Justin glared at her once more before going to open the door.  Maggie was smiling at him he opened it.  "Maggie!  I'm sorry about coming home drunk and not making it for dinner.  It's Henry's fault," he said, smiling at the woman who had been so kind to him.

"Oh, that's ok, Justin.  I can warm it up for you when you are ready.  But right now, you have a visitor."

Justin shrugged.  "Yeah, I'm sorry she barged in here.  I'm sending her back where she came from so she won't need a room."

"No, I mean the young man down in the living room.  He says you would know who he was."

Justin frowned and followed Maggie down to the living room.  There, sitting by the fire, drinking hot chocolate and looking cold was JC, shivering much like he had when he first arrived.

"Josh?"

JC turned around and saw a slightly rumpled version of his best friend. He looked sleepy and his hair was unruly, but he was a sight for JC's sore eyes.  "J-man!  Surprise!"

"God, how did you find me?"

JC laughed and shook his head.  "Luckily, I got the same cab driver you had.  He remembered you because he got a great tip.  I tipped him well too and he said we could call him when we are ready to go."

Justin couldn't believe how happy he was to see JC, there, standing in this place that felt like home, 3000 miles away from his life.  Something, not really sure what, propelled him forward and into the waiting arms of his friend.  Hugging him close, Justin thought about how badly he'd wanted his friend there, and silently thanked God for bringing him.  He also laughed and drew away, looking at JC square in the eyes.  "Guess who's here?" he said with a smirk.

"Don't tell me that little bitch beat me here," JC said, his eyes snapping with anger.  "Man!  I thought I made good time."

"She's just good at this kind of thing."

JC snorted.  "Good at sniffing out fresh meat!"

Just then, they were joined by Shawna, looking at JC with a cold stare. "What are you doing here?" she said, indignant.

Justin watched them trade insults for a few minutes and then Maggie came into the room.  "Justin, are you and your friends hungry?"

Justin nodded as he left JC and Shawna arguing in the living room.  "I'm sorry about this Maggie.  I didn't know I'd be having a visitor...or two."

"That's ok, honey.  You look a little overwhelmed.  Those aren't your friends?"

"The blonde definitely isn't my friend.  JC, yeah, he's my best friend.  Set him a place, ok?"

When Justin returned to the living room, he saw JC gazing into the fire and Shawna stomping up the stairs.  "What happened?"

JC shook his head.  "I have never gotten along with her, especially now when she's feigning all this love and concern.  J?  She's the one who caused you to run away and hide out up here in the middle of nowhere.  And now, she thinks she can waltz back into your arms.  It's just very hard to take."

When he looked up again, Justin was looking at him with a grin curling his lips.  "Why do you care so much, Josh?"

JC frowned at his friend.  "What do you mean, Justin?  What's wrong with me not wanting to see you hurt again?  What's wrong with me not wanting to see you give yourself to another heartless woman who'll just end up breaking your heart?"

Justin looked back at him with big eyes, the blue swirling in a darker hue.  He shrugged.  "No harm, man.  Thank you for caring."

They were interrupted by more noise from upstairs.  "I better go take care of this.  Just go have some of Maggie's stew, ok, Josh?  She's an awesome cook.  We should bring her on tour with us.  I'll be back shortly, I hope."

JC watched Justin take the stairs two and a time and then headed into the dining room to talk to Maggie while he waited.

Justin opened the door to his bedroom, finding Shawna crying on the bed.  Once upon a time, it may have affected him, but not any more.  She'd taken all that with her when she broke up with him and left him in the middle of the restaurant.  She cheated on him and then didn't even give him the satisfaction of letting him break up with her.

He sat down on the bed beside her and stroked her hair.  They'd given it a good try for six months.  They had taken it slow and easy, nurturing the relationship easily and really learning to be friends.  Or so he thought.  He was finding out that he never really knew her.  Here she was, looking at him through tears, and all he felt was empty.  He shook his head, "Shawna, I don't know why you are crying."

She sat up and desperately threw her arms around him, crawling closer, holding him tight.  "I love you."

"Yeah, right.  You love me so much you cheat on me.  Why?  Because I'm never around.  So what are you doing here?" he whispered, trying not to feel her body pressed against his.

He groaned inwardly as she began to kiss his neck and then his jaw.  "Shawna, stop it."

She didn't stop, continuing on to his face where she was planting kisses on his eyes, cheeks, and finally his lips.  She crawled into his lap and kissed him hungrily, holding herself hard against him. Justin's mind swam and his body was reacting with the feelings he'd had for her for so long.  He could feel himself falling into the abyss again though and that in itself was enough to jolt him back to reality so he could pull away.

Extricating himself from her legs and her lips, he stood up, wiping a tear that threatened to drop from his eyelashes.  "It's over, Shawna.  I think you should find somewhere else to stay tonight."

He picked up her purse and shoved it into her hands coldly.  When he opened the door, they exchanged a long look that threatened to dissolve his nerve.  She gave up and came to stand in front of him.  "You really are a wonderful guy, Justin.  I'm a stupid fool," she said as she stroked his cheek and tried to kiss him again.

Snapping back, as if burned, he pushed her out the door and followed her down the stairs.  "I don't want to see you again.  Don't call.  Nothing.  Just move on, Shawna."

JC followed Maggie into the the foyer, and they both noticed Shawna's tears and the hurt and resolve on Justin's face.  "Henry," Maggie yelled back toward the living room.  "Come here please?"

Henry joined them, looking from Justin to the girl and back again.  "What's going on?"

Maggie grabbed Justin's hand in hers and led him to the sofa where he collapsed beside JC.  "Justin's friend here needs a ride to the hotel in Plains.  Please, Henry?"

Henry nodded and grabbed his coat, ushering the girl out the door into the snowy night.

Justin dropped his head onto the back of the sofa, hiding his face.  "I'm so glad you came, Jayce.  Knowing you were down here helped me up there."

JC found his hand gripping the back of Justin's neck and rubbing his shoulders.  "I wouldn't be anywhere else, especially after I gave away your location.  I should have known she'd break all land and air speed records to get here before I did."

Maggie noticed the closeness between the men and left the room quickly but not before a look of satisfaction passed over her face.

When Justin sat back up, there were tears on his cheeks that he madly wiped away.  "Women suck, Jayce.  She dumps me and then just decides she wants me again?  Am I supposed to just fall back into her arms?" he said, looking at JC with a frown.

JC, seeing he was fighting the tears, pulled him tenderly in his arms with a sigh and "shhh".  Rubbing his hands up and down Justin's back, he felt Justin's pain physically himself.  He couldn't look at or hold him without feeling that hurt.  The way Justin cuddled up to him and grabbed as his sweater made him glad he had decided to make the trip.  Justin DID need him, obviously.  And for some strange reason, that felt really good.  They sat there with Justin's face buried in JC's sweater for several minutes.

The hot moist breath made it's way to JC's neck after a while and he shifted uncomfortably, privately chastising himself for the reaction in his body.  Justin needed a friend, NOT a semi-horny best friend, so he leaned back and pushed Justin away so he could see his face again and get the hot breath off his neck.  Justin leaned his forehead against JC's shoulder, still unable to stop the tears.  JC rubbed his shoulders and then found his hand threaded in the curls on the back of Justin's neck.  He didn't know what to do.  He felt like crying himself.  He couldn't hold back now, of all times, because he was not comfortable with the closeness.

Maggie walked quietly up to the men on her sofa.  JC smiled at her, still stroking Justin's hair, and whispered, "Sorry."

"Oh, it's no problem," she said to JC and then looked at Justin. "Justin, I made some stew for you boys.  It's on the table.  I have to go to a meeting, so will you two be okay?  Henry could be awhile, especially if he stops to talk to Gene."

Justin nodded at her.  "Thank you, Maggie.  You are a saint."

She winked at him again and smiled, looking from him to JC and back again.  Justin saw her little grin and said, "What?"

She just smiled and gave a little shrug herself.  "Oh, I was just thinking about how when God closes one door, he usually opens a window."

She patted Justin's shoulder and quietly left the room, leaving JC's mind in a whirl.  What did that mean?  As he looked after her, he could feel he was being watched and turned to meet Justin's eyes.  His friend looked as confused as he felt.

Justin wiped off his face and sighed.  "I'm hungry for some of that stew.  Come on."

After dinner, JC and Justin cleared the table, leaving a place setting for Henry when he returned, and did the dishes for Maggie.

Up to his elbows in soapy water, Justin grinned at JC.  "Isn't Maggie great?  She treats everyone like her kids.  Henry is cool too."

JC just nodded and continued drying the dishes.  When they finished, they headed back to the fireplace and JC watched as Justin stopped at the window to look out.  "So what's there to do here in paradise, J?"

Shrugging, Justin was silent for a moment and then, "You don't need anything to do here.  You just be.  It's snowing."

With a lopsided grin, Justin pointed out the window.  "It's freakkin' snowing, man!"

Joining him by the window, JC peeked out too, and gasped when he saw the white fluffy snowflakes blanketing the world outside.  "It just looks surreal, doesn't it?  Everything is covered with a blanket of cottony white fluff!"

Justin snickered.  "Leave it to you, man," he said with a chuckle as he sat on the sofa and wrapped himself in a blanket.

"Leave it to me, what?" JC questioned as he sat beside him.

Justin just shook his head.  "You see the world in poetry."

JC watched the reflection of the fire in his friend's blue eyes.  He could tell that Justin was thinking about Shawna as he ran his fingers through the unruly curls that were getting so long they were starting to flop onto his forehead.  "J?"

Justin looked at him but with a sad look that made JC's heart ache.  "Well, at least I got to kick her out this time.  Being dumped in the middle of a restaurant is not the best place for that, Josh."

"For her, it was.  She's just a coward, that's all," JC said, searching Justin's face for an idea of what he was feeling.

Justin just shook his head and gazed at the fire.  JC wanted to comfort him in some way, but at the moment, Justin had the big blanket for that.  As his eyes rested on JC's face, Justin said, "Thanks for coming up here to be with me, Jayce.  It can be pretty lonely, even in paradise, if you're alone."

"You promised me scenery, boy, and you better deliver," JC laughed and punched Justin softly in the shoulder.

"I'll hold up my end of the deal, you can count on that," Justin said with a laugh and then threw his blanket off.  "In fact, come on.  I'll show you what I mean.  You will see that I wasn't just luring you up here with empty promises."

JC sat on the sofa for a moment as he watched his friend disappear.  He returned a few moments later with 2 coats, gloves, and knit hats.  "Come on, C.  Get dressed."

JC followed Justin's lead and wrapped up in his not-so-winter jacket, gloves that had fur lining and a big old floppy stocking cap with red and white stripes.  Giggling, he said, "Where did this stuff come from?"

"It's the family's left over winter stuff that the guests can use."

Justin had pulled his ski hat all the way down over his ears.  He reached up and pulled JC's down likewise and they both laughed at each other.

"Ready?" Justin smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down.

JC smiled back.  "I take it, we're going outside?"

Nodding, Justin opened the front door and JC followed him out into the cold.  "Wow, it's warmer out than I thought.  I mean, it's still cold, but wait.  We need boots," Justin said, turning and pushing JC back into the house.

JC watched Justin taking his ever-present Air Jordan sneakers off and replacing them with some big black snowboots.  "Here.  These here will probably fit you."

JC followed Justin's lead and laughed to himself, wondering how his friend had become such an expert in such a short time.  But then again, Justin was a quick learner in everything they'd ever done, so he knew he shouldn't be surprised.

Walking out into the driveway, Justin pointed up.  "Moon.  See, Josh.  It's snowing like crazy, and the moon is still out.  What is up with that?"

They walked for awhile taking in the moonlight and snow quietly.  It felt good to have a little activity to get the blood flowing.  Justin stopped their lazy trek through the snow in the driveway to look at JC and grin.  He stuck his tongue out and let the flakes settle on his tongue.  JC was transfixed to his spot and fought to keep his mouth from dropping open.  The whiteness of the snow reflecting the moonlight made it almost as bright as day and he could see the snowflakes landing in Justin's eyelashes and on his tongue.  As Justin blinked, the flakes fell off onto his cheeks.  JC thought it was a beautiful thing.

It seemed to be snowing in slow motion as he noticed how lazily the flakes floated down and landed on everything...Justin in particular.  Everytime one of them would move, the squeak and crunch of the snow under their boots made a noticeable sound.  He could actually HEAR it snowing...it was a very dull, almost inperceptable roar followed by a soft woosh as the flakes floated by.  JC felt he'd just entered the twilight zone.

His eyes left Justin for a moment to scan the horizon.  The mountains loomed, purple and comforting, around them, but the sky was an eerie shade of blue due to the full moon poking between the clouds.

"I swear it's about 20 degrees warmer out here right now," Justin said.

JC, not wanting to but really wanting too very much, looked at his friend again.  Why were his eyes drawn to Justin even while surrounded by this beautiful scenery?  Why did he find himself wanting Justin to look at him and smile?  Why was his breath shallow when those dark blue eyes would finally land on him?

"What did you say?" he said when he realized Justin has said something.

A frown and a small grin passed over the face JC had been seeing every day for so long.  For the first time, he wanted to touch it.

"Josh?  Man, I said it's warmer out here than it was.  I should ask Henry if he can take us horseback riding tomorrow," Justin said, matter of factly, still catching the snowflakes on his tongue.  He looked at JC quickly and noticed the intensity of his friend's gaze.  "JC?  Why are you looking at me like that?"

JC blinked and shook his head.  "Nothing.  Can we go in?  I'm not acclimated yet, I guess.  I'm cold."

Justin nodded and they turned around.  It took twice as long to get back because it was up hill.  They stomped up the stairs to dislodge the snow from their boots.  It didn't take JC long to get his coat, boots, hat and gloves off and be wrapped up in the blanket.  Justin joined him on the sofa.

JC could feel the cool blue eyes studying him.  When he got up the courage to look at Justin, he noticed his far off expression and the way he pursed his lips together.  He'd seen that look a million times before.  It usually signaled that Justin deep in thought.  JC had a feeling that HE was that something and swallowed hard.  "Uh, J?" he said quietly.

"You gonna share that blanket, Josh?"

"Oh, yeah.  Sure," he said, throwing some of the blanket over Justin's legs.

"They should have more than one blanket in here, don't you think?" Justin said, scooting closer and covering up to his chin.  "Two Florida guys, huh?  We have thin blood, I guess."

JC chuckled at that, but was concentrating more on not concentrating on Justin whose leg was resting against his under the blanket.  But Justin turned to him, eyes roaming his face.  "JC, what are you doing?"

JC blinked once, seeming to be pinned down by his friends blue stare, and realized that he had his hand deep in Justin's curly hair, stroking him like he often did his various girlfriends over the years.  It was a tender reflection of love that he was famous for, but he usually didn't do it to Justin.  Funny thing was, Justin wasn't pulling away, seeming to be transfixed by the soft strokes.  In fact, he was leaning into JC's hand that had moved to his cheek.  JC's gaze had fallen on Justin's lips, slightly apart in concentration, and before he could stop himself, he leaned forward, lightly kissing those pink lips.

When he leaned back, he saw that Justin's eyes were closed.  As they opened, he thought he saw something there.  A flicker of mutual longing passed over his beautiful face, but was quickly overtaken by confusion and a little anger.  He jumped off the sofa quickly, throwing his part of the blanket at JC.  "What the hell was that?"

JC could feel his cheeks flame red instantaneously.  Justin stumbled back and fell into the chair by the fire, rubbing his lips.  JC knew that the fear on Justin's face was probably identical to his own.  He'd never kissed another man in his life, outside of his dad or another male relative.  It had certainly never been on the lips.  "Josh?"

JC tore his gaze from the fire to look back at Justin.  "God.  I'm sorry, J."

Justin's face was buried in his hands and he sat like that for several minutes.  JC watched him run those hands through his curls a few times and then Justin looked at him.  His expression was unreadable in the low light of the fire, but beautiful just the same.

JC saw him lick his lips, the same lips JC had tasted just a few minutes ago, finding them as soft as they looked.  Could THIS have been why he hated Justin's girlfriends so much?  Is THIS why he'd missed him so much and almost made himself sick with worry when he disappeared?  Is THIS why he'd even considered traveling 3000 miles to find him?  Is THIS why he was so in tune with Justin all these years?  Thoughts and feelings were coming back to him now.  He remembered the happy, talented boy he met on the Micky Mouse Club set that day.  They had become fast friends.  When the show was over, they wrote and called each other often, just to keep in touch, and then JC got the call that changed his life.  And it was from Justin.

All the time they'd spent touring and promoting their little group had been tiring, demanding but fun just the same, mostly because he and Justin had so much fun with each other.  His mind rested on times where he'd been in awe of something Justin had said, or how he'd looked on stage, or how sweetly he'd sung one of the lyrics.  JC had never even considered that the strong feelings he had were anything other than friendship.  Justin's eyes were looking back at him now, obviously deep in thought himself.

"Josh?  Is THIS why you hate Shawna so much?"

He cleared his throat and pushed the blanket away, suddenly too hot and uncomfortable.  "Um, maybe."

"Is THIS why you are here right now?"

JC looked at his friend.  "I'm here because I knew you needed me, Just.  I really had no idea that it would come to this."

"Why did you kiss me?"

JC blinked and congratulated Justin silently on getting right to the point.  "I felt close to you.  I'd watched you cry over that woman today and it infuriated me, I guess.  The way you clung to me today after she left made me want to comfort you.  I just didn't realize that it meant I was going to kiss you."

Justin was looking at the fire.  "You have never kissed me before in comfort," he said with a smile before looking at JC again.

JC pulled his feet up onto the couch and wrapped his arms around them, wincing a bit as he felt the hardness being restricted between his legs.  No, he couldn't be hard because of....Justin.  Could he?

"No, I haven't."

Justin rose and walked over to stand in front of JC.  Their eyes held each other warmly.  "Have I ever thanked you for taking care of me all those years, man?"

"Yeah, J, you have."

"Have I ever thanked you for spending time with me when you could have gone out with the other guys?  I knew, all those times you pretended you were tired or not feeling well, you were doing it so I wouldn't feel lonely.  I had Lance, true, but I wanted you there too."

"I don't believe you have to thank me, kiddo.  I didn't mind."

"But you did it just the same, so thanks."

Justin reached out and took his hand, threading his fingers with JC's. "Josh?"

"Yeah, J."

Justin sat down, still holding JC's hand, and laid his head on JC's shoulder.  "I think we're falling under the spell of this place."

"What do you mean?" JC said, not daring to look anywhere but at their fingers laced together.

"When I left on my journey, I only wanted you to come find me.  I didn't once wish it'd be Shawna, or one of the other guys, or even my mom.  That's why I kept calling.  I missed you.  Once I was here, this place just filled me with awe and I wanted to share it only with you."

Justin was smiling and shaking his head and looking dreamily into his friend's eyes.   He leaned forward and tentatively kissed JC's lips, slightly parted in shock.  When he drew back, his eyes roamed JC's face, his breath ragged with anticipation and wonder.  JC wasn't withdrawing.  He wasn't even breathing but he was staring at Justin's lips, so Justin leaned forward again, kissing JC, longer, less tentatively.  When he drew back this time, JC's eyes were closed, his cheeks flushed.  And he buried his free hand in Justin's shirt, pulling him back into the kiss....hard.  Justin opened his mouth a little to gasp at JC's use of force and JC took the invitation to begin kissing him deeper.  Soon, JC's arms were around Justin who had crawled closer, pressing his hard body against JC.

As their tongues continued to explore each other's mouths, JC found himself lying on top of Justin, tangling his legs around Justin's longer ones.  Pressing him into the couch, all he could taste was Justin's sweet breath and the lust that was bubbling up inside him.

The hot kisses Justin was trailing down his neck and the sucking noises he made on his earlobe only inflamed JC's thoughts more.  He felt himself being pressed into the couch now and Justin was leaning over him now, returning every kiss that had been showered on him.

Stomp. Stomp.

Justin's head came up and he fought to get out of JC's embrace.  "Fuck!  Someone is home.  Sit up, C."

Justin picked up a pillow that had fallen off the couch and tossed it at JC, before running in to meet Maggie at the door.  JC just sat, wondering how his world had suddenly been thrown off it's axis.  He could hear Justin and Maggie talking and also some kind of rustling as Maggie came in to stand by the fire.  Justin, standing behind her, smiled at JC over her shoulder.  He was still wondering if he had really just been making out with Justin or if he'd been asleep and dreaming.

"My meeting was cancelled, so while I was in Plains, I bought you two warm sweatshirts to wear," Maggie said, smiling, her cheeks rosy from the wind.

As she looked at JC, his slightly dreamy look and flushed cheeks made her frown, so she turned to Justin, who wouldn't look her in the eyes.  "You boys been behaving?" she asked, squinting at Justin who was now chewing on his fingernail.

"Maggie, we're just sitting here.  Thanks for the sweatshirts," he said, looking at her for a moment, and then throwing the other shirt at JC.

Maggie winked at Justin and said, "I'm going to go to bed.  If you need anything, you just holler, ok?  Goodnight, JC."

Justin watched her walk out of the room.  He tried several times to look at JC, but chickened out each time, looking at everything but his friend.  JC, having a struggle of his own, was looking at the shirt in his lap, going over the feelings that had bubbled to the surface.  He did finally get up the nerve to look at Justin who was leaning up against the wall by the entry arch.  His friend seemed deep in thought and very interested in the shirt he was holding.  JC's eyes lingered on his friend's muscular shoulders and trim waist.  He snickered to himself thinking about how Justin, even as a 16 or 17 year old, knew what to do with those hips.  He wasn't called "Thrustin' Justin" for nothing.  JC left his shirt on the couch and approached Justin, who was still staring at something out the window.

Standing in front of the younger man, JC said, "Look at me, Curls."

When their eyes met, Justin started chewing on his bottom lip for a moment and then offered, "I don't know what this all means, Josh."

JC inched closer, trying not to feel like an animal stalking his prey, but Justin's reaction made him feel like a big bad wolf.  He watched Justin hug the wall and try to escape his intense, all-seeing gaze and said, "Relax, J.  You just broke up with Shawna.  I have no business pressing any kind of relationship other than this one we already share...right now."

Justin cleared his throat and shrank against the wall some more as JC planted one of his hands on each side of Justin's body and stepped closer.  "This isn't pressing?" Justin whispered, staring at JC with questions darting from his eyes.

JC leaned forward more.  He whispered back as he caressed Justin's neck and collarbone with his thumb.  "I've watched over you for years, Justin.  I'm not going to start hurting you now," JC said softly.  "Come here...."

...TBC...?