'God, you look like shit!' Justin thought to himself as he looked in the bathroom mirror.  'Well, why shouldn't you?  You haven't slept in...how many weeks?'

He leaned over and splashed his face with frigid water.  When he looked back up he saw the culprit for his lack of sleep in the mirror.  Justin could feel the blood in his body build lower and lower as his gaze slid over the sweat pants hanging low on slim hips, up the bare chest glistening from a steamy shower, further still to a pair of stormy blue eyes.  He sighed as his eyes roamed lazily over the person he had grown to adore.

"You okay, J?" the smooth voice full of concern washed over him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, man...just tired," he said.  He slowly smiled when he saw JC flash his infamous grin which caused Justin, along with thousands of girls each night, to melt.

"Ya sure?" JC shifted uncomfortably in the door jam, as if he knew what was really going on in his best friend's head.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Justin looked back up into his elder's eyes, thinking for a second that he saw something more than concern in them.  He pushed the thought away and willed the man to leave him alone before he broke down in tears.

"Oh, J?" JC licked his lips as he always did when he was nervous.  "N-never mind.  Come to me if you need me, k?"

"I always do," Justin replied, staring at the white sink, wanting to just grab JC and hold on forever.

Justin heard JC sigh and hoped he hadn't pushed him farther away than he already was.  JC moved, but instead of stepping out, he came in and shut the door behind him.  He took Justin in his arms and waited.  And the flood gates opened.  Collapsing against the hard body, Justin sobbed his heart ache out, not knowing if the man holding him knew he was the cause of his pain.

"Sshh, Justin, it's alright, I'm here now..." JC cooed sliding himself and Justin to the floor, cradling the crying boy against him.  "What's wrong?"

Justin shook his head against JC's bare chest causing him to squirm from the soft ticklish hair.  "I can't, can't tell, tell you..." he whispered as his tears subsided.

JC continued to stroke the shaved head as his other hand reached for Justin's, clasping it in the younger man's lap.  He wondered what could cause this young man so full of life and energy to burn out in a matter of weeks.  Why hadn't Justin confided in his own best friend?  And worse...what caused him to hate JC?

"It's me, isn't it?" JC asked softly, a low hum in his chest reaching into the depths of Justin's soul.  Justin stilled, his whole body stopping in a heart beat.  "J? J? Justin, breath!" JC pleaded when he heard him fall silent.

"How did you know?" the words rushed out of Justin in one breath.

"God, don't scare me like that!" JC hoisted the boy up further in his lap and sighed.  "It's obvious.  You stopped talking to me, wanted to room with everyone else, but me."

"Yeah...it's just, that, now, I..." Justin glared at the man's bare chest "I'm sorry, but I..."

"Hate me, I know..." JC let a tear fall then closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall.  Justin jerked up and stared as his friend silently cried, for him.

"God, NO!  Oh, C!  I'm sorry.  No, I don't hate you," Justin said as he tentatively placed his hand on JC's crumpled face.  "Look at me, please?"

JC opened his glistening eyes and Justin whispered, "I could never hate you.  God!  I love you man, more than you'll ever know!"

"I'm sorry...whatever I did, I'm sorry.  I don't want to lose you as a friend, Justin.  You mean too much to me." JC said.  He paused and quickly added, "You all do."

JC looked into the blue eyes mirroring his own.

"Don't be sorry.  It was me, JC.  I love you so much that I pushed you away," Justin admitted and looked away as JC blinked with a look of confusion.

"What?" JC barely was able to say.  He jumped as Justin leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips.  Before he could respond at all, Justin stood up and left the bathroom.

Justin was gathering his clothes onto the bed and had began to pack when JC appeared beside him. "Uh, J?"

"Yes, I kissed you.  Yes, when I said 'love', I meant 'LOVE'.  Yes, I'd do it again!  Hell, why not?" Justin said with abandon.  He twisted around and grabbed hold of the curls on the back of JC's neck to bring their lips together.  He left his hands in JC's hair to keep himself under some control and for leverage as he kissed JC's lips apart.  This time, when Justin leaned back, JC's eyes remained closed and he panted slightly from the assault.

"Ohh-kay," JC said as he reopened his eyes, meeting Justin's with a blunt stare.  "Do you mind telling me a few things?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"What does it matter?  I already ruined our friendship so why bother getting into all the reasons to it?  It's done C.  Lets get over it," Justin replied, gazing over JC's flushed skin.  He smiled weakly when JC shifted under his heated stare.

"Well, if it's over as friends..." JC started.

"It is," Justin interrupted.

"Then there is no reason why you can't kiss me again," JC said flatly, with less emotion than what he was feeling.

Justin looked sharply at JC, staring into his eyes.  He saw pure lust there.  The younger boy once again lightly touched his friend's lips to his own.  The harshness was gone.  He tried to remain in control, but that was soon lost when JC's tongue licked along his bottom lip.  Justin willingly opened his mouth and met JC's heat with his own urgence.

Justin tilted his head, giving JC better access to deepen their kisses, and he still continued to torment JC with his gentle touches.  JC lifted his hands bringing them to rest on Justin's hips, and then shyly slipped his hands up under Justin's shirt.  They both moaned as he felt, for the first time, the younger's man's hard muscles and sculptured chest.  JC plucked at Justin's nipples, causing them to harden under his tingling fingers.   Justin left a trail of bites and kisses along JC's jaw, down his neck and up to his ear.  JC shuddered as Justin took the soft flesh in his mouth and sucked.

"Justin!  Good God!" JC panted when the younger man pulled him tight to his body.  "How long have you felt this way?"

"Since this past summer," Justin paused and looked into JC's eyes.  "I walked in on you, um, naked in Cali."

"Oh..." JC squirmed a little and when Justin pressed up against him, he could feel his friend's straining erection though both pairs of their pants.

"Ever since then, I've had dreams about you...about me...about us.  At first I was weirded out.  But then, I started to notice you, Joshua, the real you, not JC, your image."

"Go on..." JC shrugged, nodding and watching Justin's face as the words tumbled from Justin's mouth.

Justin sighed and ran his hand over his face.  "I fell in love with you, that's it...soon it was more than just wanting to fuck you.  Now I want to love you in every way possible, but I never thought you would return my feelings."

Justin leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips; he rested his forehead against JC's and smiled.

"I want to," JC grinned deliciously.  "What did you dream about?  Since we are no longer friends, maybe we can kill two birds with one stone.  What do you say?"

"Fulfilling my dreams, that's one.  But what's the other bird?" Justin questioned.

"Give me what I've always wanted..." JC snickered.

"What?"

"J, I'm bi.  Yes, I have always been, since I was about 17, I think," JC winked.  "You were my first boy crush and then we parted when the Mouse Club was done.  When we reunited, well, think about it."

Justin thought about what he was hearing.  "You mean?  All this time, you were in love with me?"

"No, not all this time, but since about 2 years ago, I've loved you.  Before, we were both young.  But now, it's more," JC whispered as he pushed the boy onto his bed and crushed down upon him.  "Now, we both get what we want," JC whispered and moved his hand lower and lower down to Justin's crotch.  "Goodbye to a beautiful friendship."

Justin leaned up and kissed JC's nose tenderly, "Hello to a beautiful romance."