A: Wave
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot is believed to exist.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool ?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff in the bottom of the pool.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
