As if we needed any more proof that stupid people are breeding.... here are some actual label instructions of consumer  goods.

On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Well, duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(You think????)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
(And I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh, fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the  parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God! Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

                                                                      
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