Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers Step by step Heart to heart Left-right-left We all fall down Step by step Heart to heart Left-right-left We all fall down Like toy soldiers Bit by bit Torn apart We never win But the battle wages on For toy soldiers I'm supposed to be the soldier Who never blows his composure Even though I hold the weight Of the whole world on my shoulders I ain't never supposed to show it My crew ain't supposed to know it Even if it means goin' toe to toe With a Benzino it don't matter I'd never drag them in battles That I can handle 'less I absolutely have to I'm supposed to set an example I need to be the leader My crew looks for me to guide 'em If some shit ever does pop off I'm supposed to be beside 'em That Ja shit I tried to squash it It was too late to stop it There's a certain line you just Don't cross and he crossed it I heard him say Hailie's name On a song and I just lost it It was crazy, this shit went Way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit And even though the battle was won I feel like we lost it I spent too much energy on it Honestly I'm exhausted And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for It's not why I got in it That was never my object For someone to get killed Why would I wanna destroy Something I help build It wasn't my intentions My intentions were good I went through my whole career Without ever mentionin' *edit* And that was just out of respect For not runnin' my mouth And talkin' about something That I knew nothing about Plus Dre told me stay out This just wasn't my beef So I did, I just fell back Watched and gritted my teeth While he's all over TV Down talkin' a man Who literally saved my life Like fuck it I understand This is business, and this shit Just isn't none of my business But still knowin' this shit Could pop off at any minute 'cause Step by step Heart to heart Left-right-left We all fall down Like toy soldiers Bit by bit Torn apart We never win But the battle wages on For toy soldiers There used to be a time when You could just say a rhyme and Wouldn't have to worry about One of your people dyin' But now it's elevated 'cause once you put someone's kids in it The shit gets escalated It ain't just words no more Is it It's a different ball game Callin' names and you ain't just rappin' We actually tried to stop The 50 and Ja beef from happenin' Me and Dre had sat with him Kicked it and had a chat with him And asked him not to start it He wasn't gonna go after him Until Ja started yappin' In magazines how we stabbed him "Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em And let him have it" Meanwhile my attention is Pullin' in other directions Some receptionist at The Source Who answers phones at his desk Has an erection for me and Thinks that I'll be his ressurection Tries to blow the dust off his mic And make a new record But now he's fucked the game up 'cause one of the ways I came up Was through that publication The same one that made me famous Now the owner of it has got A grudge against me for nothin' Well fuck it, that motherfucker Can get it too, fuck him then But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc. And he's inherited mine, which is fine Ain't like either of us mind We still have soldiers That's on the front line That's willing to die for us As soon as we give the orders Never to extort us Strictly to show they support us We'll maybe shout 'em out In a rap or up in a chorus To show them we love 'em back And let 'em know how important it is To have Runyan Avenue Soldiers up in our corners Their loyalty to us is Worth more than any award is But I ain't tryin' to have None of my people hurt and murdered It ain't worth it. I can't think Of a perfecter way to word it Than to just say that I love ya'll Too much to see the verdict I'll walk away from it all Before I let it go any further But don't get it twisted It's not a plea that I'm coppin' I'm just willin' to be the bigger man If ya'll can quit poppin' Off at the jaws, well then I can 'Cause frankly I'm sick of talkin' I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin Rest on my conscience 'cause Step by step Heart to heart Left-right-left We all fall down Like toy soldiers Bit by bit Torn apart We never win But the battle wages on For toy soldiers REASON: Friendships are fickle and fragile things. They take effort and compromise to maintain, especially when there's a great distance between friends. I like to think that I've done well with a majority of my friendships, mostly because I only had the few true friendships all throughout highschool and what I've seen thus far of college. It gets stressful though. Stress passes between friends, and some friendships are even broken by stress. I've begun sowing the seeds of new friendships up here, but it's still hard. All the while I'm beginning my climb in this industry I love, an industry blamed for murder and death. The truth is that games are an art, a way that the creators relieve their stress and the finished product helps ease the stress of others. The more violent the game, the better it is at relieving stress. With our midterms and team projects and all these great things packing up, it's hard to stay focused on those friendships I have in Missouri. It's getting pulled thin again. Alain's been partying and calling me when he's toast, Josh is depressed and unsure of why to live, and I've begun coming out with a dark secret I've held since January. I cut. I bleed for relief. I bleed for pleasure. I bleed for my girl. This is awkward for Alain to accept since he's the only one I've told bluntly, but I'm not pleased with his habits either. Friendships may wax and wane, just as the moon in the night sky, but love is real and will last. Even when times get tough, I love the people I care about. I don't want anything bad to happen to any of you.