deargod

DEAR GOD

To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]

Dear God,

I think that you are becoming a bit disillusioned. Why is it that you insist on kerfuffling me with the most perplexing mysteries known to man? Are you working in cahoots with the makers of Tylenol Extra Strength? I have been buying way too many of those to ease these splitting migraine headaches. Surviving as a Guyanese is already hard enough. Have some sympathy please.

These are some of those mind-bogglers you forced upon me. Please try and clear up as many as you can as soon as possible.

1.Will Janet ever die?
2.Are all those deportees Guyanese?
3.Who's side are you on? Bush or bin Laden?
4.Who killed Shafeek, McKinnon and Monica Reece?
5.What really happened that night with Azad Bacchus and BASS?
6.Is it true that Bishop Edghill and Bharat have a sexual relationship?
7.Did Bharat and Rohee ever fight?
8.Will we all get visas again?
9.Is Ravi racist?
10.Was the election rigged?
11.Is Benschop dead?
12.What round is it in the fight between you and the devil? And why is he beating you up so much like how Sixhead batter James Page?
13.Did Burnham really have a Swiss bank account?
14.What religion are you?
15.Were those suicide pilots really on your side?
16.Where is REFORM?
17.Will Hoyte ever step down?
18.Is it true that Cheddie and Burnham are trying to overthrow you?
19.What is the name of their party?
20.What is the name of your party?
21.Is it true that the US embassy makes more money than any other business in Guyana?
22.Will Chavez ever take Essequibo?
23.How many Fidel Castros are there?
24.Is the real Fidel still alive?
25.Is Burnham Joey's real father?
26.Will Sharief ever get married?
27.Will PNC ever win?
28.Will Bush ever find Osama?
29.Has a black man ever committed suicide in Guyana?
30.Will we ever get private radio?
31Will the 15 UG students who absconded on 4 different tours to the USA ever return?
32.Who burn down Kissoon's?
33.Will Mikey Holding apologise to Hoops?
34.Is Osama alive?
35.Do you know where he is?
36.Did you lose it when you made Sharma?
37.Do you really have 72 virgins waiting for suicide bombers? (I am particularly keen on an urgent response on this one, if there is any catch attached let me know the details please.)

I would be most grateful for whatever information you can provide as the situation down here is very confusing and sketchy.

Your Crazy Son,
Imraan.