10. It's a crap game full of oversexed men
kicking around a large ball.
9. Footballers date slags and whores like Posh
Spice.
8. Footballers take away the "World's Worst
Dressed Celebrity" award from the James boys.
7. Football is the only international industry
more controlled by large evil corporations than music.
6. Football encourages nationalism which leads
to war.
5. Three Lions ale at 4 pounds a bottle at
Tesco.
4. Zombified men taking the month off work and
making themselves even more useless than before.
3. Me and me mum and me dad and me gran and a
bucket of Vindaloo...
2.Goal, Goal, Goal, by far the BEST footie song
EVER, is the only football song written this decade that hasn't
been put into mega-heavy rotation by Radio 1!
1. If James couldn't be arsed to play at the
World Cup in 1994 when they were asked, why should we be arsed to
watch it?
Hey Saul, I'll let you play with my maraca if you'll turn off that damned game...
