50-50

Author�s note: Remember how I like to use only dialogue sometimes? During a story, I sometimes suddenly switch to only dialogue � like in Adventure Of The Ass. I wanted to try something different and I was pretty pleased with the result. So I�m trying out this story � an idea I had from long ago � and I�m going to write it in total dialogue. It�s funny, hopefully, rather than all the other sappy stories I write. Hope ya like it!


�Ouch! Josh, stop poking me!�

���

�Ow! Stop it!�

���

�Hey, okay, okay! Stop! No, no� Josh! No tickling� JOSH!�

���

�Ha! I got you to move!�

�Oh, hardy-har-har. Really funny, Joshua Scott. You couldn�t just ASK me to move, like any other regular guy?�

�I�m not any other regular guy. I�m Joshua Scott Chasez and you, my dear Lance, were on MY side of the bed.�

�Since when did we split the bed?�

�Since I decided I didn�t want your hair tickling my face when I try to sleep at night.�

�� and when was that?�

�Uh� just?�

�It�s two *freaking* A.M, Josh. And I was half-asleep. You couldn�t just PUSH me or something?�

�I didn�t wanna wake you.�

�Oh right, Mr. Chasez. And you cleverly decided that poking me and TICKLING me wouldn�t wake me up, hmm?�

�� Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.�

�I swear, if we didn�t need you in the band, I�d kick your scrawny ass.�

�Sorry.�

�You sound sorry.�

�I am.�

�You should be.�

�Well I am.�

�Good. I�m going to bed� night, Josh.�

���

�What are you doing NOW, Josh?�

�I thought since we can�t draw a line down the middle of the bed, we could put this bolster here instead.�

�Oh GOD. Save me. WHY, Josh, WHY are you torturing me like this?�

�Like what?�

�Oh, don�t act all innocent with me. I�m trying to SLEEP and YOU are rearranging the BED!�

�Oh. Sorry.�

�Are you happy with the sleeping arrangement now, Mr. I-can�t-sleep-with-hair-in-my-face?�

�Um� yeah.�

�Good. Now SLEEP.�

���

�Lance�?�

�WHAT Josh?!�

�Are you mad?�

�Mad about what, Joshua?�

�Mad at me?�

�No, I�m not mad, Josh. I�m just fine and dandy. I�ve been woken up THREE times by you in the span of half an hour. It�s pretty obvious I�m not gonna get a good night�s sleep but nooooo� no, I�m not pissed at you at all, no siree.�

�So you are mad� I�m sorry.�

�Don�t be, Josh. Just� stop waking me up. Please.�

�Kay��

���

�JC! Now the frickin� PILLOWS?�

�Um� yeah.�

�Oh. My. God. I am absolutely going to scream. Jace, please, do me a favour. Continue this insanity tomorrow night when we�re not drained from a concert and when I can switch rooms with someone else!�

�You�re not gonna sleep with me tomorrow?�

�We�re not SLEEPING together. And no, I am NOT going to share a room with you tomorrow. You�re driving me up the wall.�

��Sorry.�

�I�m not even gonna tell you it�s okay because I can assure you, JC, it�s not.�

�You called me JC... You�re really pissed, aren�t you?�

�If I woke you up four times in a row for completely insane reasons, wouldn�t you be feeling as happy as I am?�

�Sorry.�

�Josh, just stop, okay? Sleep.�

�Kay.�

���

�You called me Josh... You�re not mad any more?�

�JC CHASEZ! I am FREAKING furious! OKAY? God, quit waking me up like that! Just SHUT UP!�

��sor-�

�Don�t even tell me you�re sorry. Let me sleep. PLEASE.�

���

�AHHHHHHHHH! Now the blanket! WHAT next?!�

�Lance, where�re you going?�

�Chris! Christopher Kirkpatirck! CHRIS!�

�Uh� you need to see a psychologist?�

�NO! No, dammit, I need a new rooming partner! CHHHRRIIISSSS!�

�Uh, Lance� I think Chris is at least five rooms down the hall. He can�t hear you.�

�I�m going to go to his room right now. Good NIGHT, Jace.�

���

�Hi Lance! You�re back!�

�Oh. My. God. You�re still awake. Mr. Hyper is still awake. Mr. I-won�t-let-Lance-sleep. Chris, why, WHY couldn�t you be awake?�

�� I�ll take the floor, kay? Just� don�t be mad at me anymore, Lance.�

�Josh� nah, you don�t have to take the floor. Just� just PLEASE don�t move the bed. PLEASE. I NEED SLEEP.�

�Okay� sorry.�

�It�s okay.�

���

�JOSH, for the LAST TIME! Now you have to move the BEDSPREAD!? That�s it! Get off the bed. You take the floor. Good night and good riddance.�

��do I really have to take the floor?�

�YES!�

�Kay.�

���

�Josh? You didn�t REALLY take the fl-�

�Hi Lance!�

�WHOA! Jesus JC, What�re you doing on THIS side of the room?�

�Um, couldn�t sleep.�

�� get up here, Josh.�

�But I thought��

�Come on.�

���

�Josh, PLEASE don�t say you�re STILL arranging the pillows.�

�Um��

�WHAT�S so bad about sleeping next to me, dammit?�

�� Um� well� things could happen.�

�Like what, JC? Being woken up eight times isn�t bad enough, huh? Ooh, now monsters are gonna pop up and EAT US and tooth fairies are g-�

���

�Whoa.�

�I told you things would happen.�

�Hmm� eh� kisses do seem to happen in between sentences, don�t they?�

�Uh��

�Josh, that was��

�Um� do you wanna do it-�

���

�Mmm� I take it you like it as much as I did the first time.�

�Josh, shut up and move the bolster from this stupid line.�

�But-�

���

�No buts. Move the pillows. I happen to LIKE the things that are happening.�

�I know... You do?�

�Yeah, Josh, you have nice lips.�

�I�m moving the pillows, I�m moving the pillows.�

�I thought you�d see it my way.�

���

�Good, now stop playing with the bed accessories and let me sleep.�

�Kay.�

��Lance?�

�What now, Josh?�

�You aren�t really gonna switch rooming partners tomorrow, are you?�

��Nah.�

�Kay� I think I like it better when we don�t split the bed.�

�Mmmhmm.�

�� Lance, think we could do this tomorrow?�

�And the day after?�

�Forever?�

�Tempting.�

�Can we?�

�You like?�

�Yeah.�

�Kay.�

���

�Um, Lance� about just now-�

�Love you, Josh.�

�You do?�

�You mind?�

�No.�

�Then yeah, I do.�

�Kay.�

���

�Love you too, Lance.�

�Sleep, Josh.�

�Kay.�

�Night.�

�Night, Lance.�

�Finally.�

�Yeah.�

�Sleep well, Josh.�

�You too, Lance.�


End.
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