| CHAPTER 8
�Jerry Jacks is partially responsible for the hit on you that almost killed your son.� Sonny looked at Alexis for a moment before he got up and started pacing the floor. You could tell he was getting more upset with every step. He looked back over at her and didn�t know what to say. Oh great you�ve done it this time, Alexis said to herself. I knew I shouldn�t have told him, now he�ll hate me forever. She fiercely looked away as he once again looked at her. I can�t believe this is happening .. why on earth did I listen to Carly and drop the idea that Jerry was behind the hit? Sonny asked himself over and over again while he tried to think of something to say to Alexis. I knew that man was somehow responsible for what happen and I let Carly of all people talk me out of pursuing it. Why? Why? He asked himself but yet knew the answer. Because I let myself believe I still loved her and needed her. Because she came crying to me one night and asked me to please don�t kill her brother in law, her husband Jax needed him too much�. That she�d do anything to keep him safe. His hands clinched tighter and Alexis was sure that this was it � the moment of truth � the moment where all hell breaks loose� where he tells her he can�t believe he ever told her he loved her� how could he love a woman who would keep such a secret from him � a woman who claims to love him but yet continues to openly deify him��how could he Her mind went blank as she looked up and caught the gaze of his eyes in hers. The two of them just stood there for several minutes never losing eye contact. Not really sure if it was out of fear or concern while their eyes grew heavier and heavier. Finally Sonny broke contact with her eyes as he slowly sat down next to her and took her hand. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath as his calmly hand over took hers. She swears her heart skipped a beat as he brought his eyes back to hers. Quickly she looked away as her hand tightened around his. He didn�t say a word as he placed his free hand under her chin and brought her face back to his. Slowly and carefully he pulled her closer and place a small soft and loving kiss upon her lips. The tense in the room was almost completely lifted in those few seconds. Yet there was still the fear of the unknown of the yet unspoken words. God how she wished he would just say something already. Just tell her he hates her and doesn�t understand why he ever got involved with her. Oh no! She thought to herself as her body jerk confusing Sonny. What if this is it the end of the line, the last battle cry and he � he�. Oh lord she can�t even think about it. She closes her eyes and looks up to the sky trying to hold back the tears that were trying to form. Please dear Lord she said to herself as she clinched her eyes tighter and tighter together. Don�t let him take our daughter from me. I can�t live without her. She�s my heart and my soul Lord .. one of my soul reasons for living� �I�m sorry Alexis.� She barely heard as she opened her eyes and then brought her face down to his. Did he really just say that? �I�m sorry.� He repeated ever lower than before. What does he have to be sorry about? I�m the one who kept the truth from him. I�m the one who lied to him and worse even slept with the man responsible for his son�s condition. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone as it started to ring. She knew that in just a matter of seconds he�d be gone and that the conversation that they were yet to embark on would never happen. It was the story of their life, it was an everyday occurrence when it came to the two of them and why they could never be together. Sonny was a mobster and his business came first, before anything else, including his family, his business was his main priority and something that must be dealt with right away. She stood to leave as he brought his cell further out of his inner jacket pocket. Quickly he grabbed a hold of it and asked her to please sit back down with his eyes. She wasn�t really sure why until she watched as he never even looked to see who was calling and tossed the phone into the lake. Sonny was extremely relieved as she sighed heavily before sitting back down. Right here and now he didn�t care who was on the other end of that line. Heck he didn�t care if the world around him was blowing up and the mob were killing each other off one by one. He had everything, well almost everything with the except of his youngest son Morgan, under the roof of this house and he knew they were all safe and more importantly he knew where he had to be. Sonny took a deep breath and then continued to speak as thou the phone never rang. �I should have never let Carly talk me out of going after Jerry and then none of this would have happened Alexis. You wouldn�t have felt the need to keep something this important from me and you wouldn�t have ended up at the mercy of that man.� A tear formed in his one eye. �I�m so sorry that I didn�t kill the bastard before he was able to take advantage of you� to rape you the way he did.� His whole body tensed as that word left the tip of his tongue. �Please forgive me for not protecting you? For not being there for you? For being too busy to see just how deeply you were involved with that lowlife?� She couldn�t believe he was saying all of this. That he blamed himself for everything that has happened. A man who she knows never takes responsibility for anything and is always pushing the blame onto somebody else, is actually sitting here next to her asking for forgiveness��.. Her of all people to forgive him, what the heck just happened? She asked herself as a very puzzled look over came her face. Sonny just looked at her and didn�t know what to say. He couldn�t stop the tears from falling down his face as the ones in her eyes let go. He wanted her so bad, no he needed her so bad and he didn�t know whether or not it would be a good idea to reach out to her. To just hold her and tell her he loves her. That he�s sorry and he�ll do anything to make it up to her, as long as she doesn�t push him out of her life again. He was at the point in his life that he knew he could never truly live without her. That his life was meaningless without her and their daughter in it. He hated himself so much at this moment and hoped she didn�t see it� or maybe he hoped she did.. but all he knew is he wanted everything between the two of them to be okay. In Sonny�s whole entire life he never felt so vulnerable, so at lose for words, so helpless. Heck even in his younger years as his step father beat the crap out of him and lock him in the closet did he ever feel like this. His life was at the mercy of the woman sitting in front of him. His heart was racing twenty miles per hour faster than it should have been. It was silently crying out to hers but he didn�t know if she could hear it. His throat was filled with the words I love you Alexis Davis, yet he was unable to speak them. How could somebody make him feel this way? Make him feel so helpless and scared� and yet so loved and wanted all at the same time? Alexis could tell by the look in Sonny�s eyes and the softening of his touch that something had changed in Sonny right at this very moment. She wasn�t really sure what it was but it made him more human to her. He wasn�t just this bad boy mobster that she was drawn to. He was the man who was the father of her child and the one that she so desperately loved. �Sonny I really don�t know what to say?� �Just tell me you forgive me.� �Not that I see any reason to forgive you. You should be the one forgiving me but if it will make you feel better, I do forgive you.� He wiped some of the tears from her eyes. �Tell me how you really feel about me Alexis.� A smile came across her face and for the first time in her life she wasn�t scare to say the words. �I love you Sonny!� He brought his mouth to hers and whispered and �I love you� before over taking it with hers. The kiss was very deep and loving. The two of them were so lost in the relief of not losing one another that they didn�t even realize the sky had let loose and was falling down upon them. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~~*~* Later on that night Alexis couldn�t sleep so she crawled out of bed, carefully not to wake a sleeping Sonny. She then walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice before making her way into the living room and sitting on the couch. As she sat there in the dark she pondered a few things over and over again in her head. The biggest one being that she still couldn�t believe what had happened. That Sonny actually blamed himself for what occurred between her and Jerry. Like somehow he was to blame. Like somehow he could have stopped it. When in reality the only one who could have stopped it was her. She knew he was a dangerous man and that she shouldn�t be alone with him. Yet there she sat, in his place, drinking his alcohol, intrigued by his mere presence. She wanted someone to love her and well Jerry Jacks did just that, or did he. Was Sonny right did he take advantage of her? Did he rape her? That question was something that ran through her mind so many times since the night she and Jerry had sex. She wanted him, she flirted with him, she even took the first step and kissed him. She places her hands over her face and lays her head back against the couch. But I told him I couldn�t do it, that I didn�t know if we should and he still pushed and pushed until I did something I knew at that point I didn�t want to do. �Alexis Davis why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you analyzing that fact that Jerry Jack did indeed take advantage of you. That he did indeed rape you? You�re a lawyer for Pete sake you should know the difference between consensually sex and rape!� She said to herself out loud not realizing it at first until she heard a noise come from behind her. She sat still on the couch with her eyes closed and mumbled in her head please don�t be Sonny please don�t be Sonny. �What�cha doing mommy?� Alexis opened her eyes and smiled as she pulled her little brown eyed girl up onto her lap. �Kristina baby what are you doing up?� Kristina just shrugged her shoulders as she nestled her head into Alexis chest. Alexis just kissed the top of Kristina�s head before playing with her hair. �Did you have a bad dream?� Alexis asked but the question had gone unanswered. �Did daddy go home, mommy?� Alexis really didn�t know how to answer that question because the last thing she wanted to do was confuse her. The question posed a big dilemma for Alexis. If she tells her, her daddy was still here she knew there would be to many more questions on the table. Ones, like this one, that she really doesn�t want to answer. However if she lies to her and tells her Sonny had gone home and Kristina accidently saw him, her daughter would wonder why she lied. So she took a moment to ponder the question and then started to speak, when the answer she was about to give was taken out of her control. �Hey what are my two favorite ladies doing up in the middle of the night?� Sonny asked as he made his way into the living room and squatted down in front of them. �Daddy.� An excited Kristina yelled as she jumped into his arms. �I knew you wouldn�t leave us that you�d still be here.� Alexis gave Sonny a strange look and then got off the couch and walked away. While holding his daughter tight he followed Alexis with his eyes until he could no longer see her. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn�t too thrilled about him letting Kristina know he was there, but he wasn�t really sure why. After all they confessed their love to one another and everything between them seemed to be going well. Yes they had some issues to work out but still they were going to work it out and be a family. Unless that�s not something she wanted? He asked himself as he carried his little girl back to her bedroom and tucked her in. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ About an half hour later Sonny walked back into the bedroom only to find Alexis balled up sitting on the window sill. He didn�t have to go any further into the room to tell that she had been crying. No matter how hard she tried to cover it up. He walked over to her and slowly put his one arm under her legs and the other around her back. Like a instinct she laid her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He then lifted her body and carried her back to the bed, tucking her in like he just did his little girl. She looked up at him as he crawled over her body and laid down besides her. �Sonny what are we doing?� He looked at her dumbfounded, what did she mean what are we doing? We love each other and I thought what we�re doing was apparent. �We can�t keep living like this Sonny. I don�t want the girls getting mixed signals.� As the words came out of his mouth he thought to himself .. awww yes it�s the lawyer in her that always see�s problems where they don�t exists. He laughed slightly which only confused her. Of course the Cassadine in her doesn�t help matters. �Sonny, please say something.� He looked deep into her dark glistening eyes and smiled brightly. So brightly in fact that his dimples could have lit up the room, and he simply said. �Marry me?� |