What if Justin hadn�t gone to Brian's office
(308)
That kiss�that kiss�that was all Brian could think about. That kiss�finally� so familiar and yet so new�that kiss�those lips�the lips he knew so well: their shape, their touch, their taste. He couldn�t get it out of his mind. He played that scene over and over again in his head. What he said� what Justin said� and that kiss�that kiss.
And to think that Justin almost left without kissing him. Thank God he stopped him. He couldn't let him go. Not when they were finally talking. Really talking.
Everything was out now. Justin wanted him back. He knew it was just a matter of time. He knew it. But now what? Justin's gone. Is he supposed to make the next move? Damn! Why did he have to leave? Maybe he's still around somewhere. Should he go look for him? And say what, exactly? Fuck! Fuck! What was he going to do?
He sat there in his office, staring at the door, hoping to see Justin walk by. But Justin never did. He was thinking about going to look for him at Daphne's, at Babylon, Woody's. But, instead, he just sat there, daydreaming about him and Justin, dancing together at Babylon. Dancing and kissing.
He got up and walked out of the office. People were getting ready to leave. His eyes were searching all over for Justin. He wasn't around. Maybe it's a good thing. Now he wouldn't have to face him. He needed more time. More time to think about what he wanted to say. And he had a lot to say. He wanted to explain to Justin that he's not Ethan, that he's not used to talking about his emotions, that he doesn't always do the right thing, but that he loves him and misses him. He wanted to tell Justin that he wants to try and change but that he needs to be patient with him, and he needed Justin to tell him that even if he's unable to change, that that would be OK too.
God�that kiss. He didn't want to leave. All he wanted was to finish that kiss.
He's eyes were still searching for Justin. And then he saw him. Standing right in front of him. Brian just stood there, staring at him. He took a deep breath and tried to come up with the right words but he couldn't think of anything. God! What was he so afraid of? Justin wanted him back! He wanted him back!
"Well, I'm gonna go."
"Justin, wait."
"What?"
"Is it really over between you and Ethan?"
"Yes."
He hesitated for a second and then said:
"I may never change, you know."
Justin nodded
"I know."
"And are you ok with that?"
"Yea, I am. Now I am."
Brian nodded, still looking at him. Justin smiled and walked over to Brian. He smiled back, and pulled Justin closer to him. Then, he just stared at him without moving. Staring and thinking about that kiss from before. That kiss�that kiss.
"Brian, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."