It's 8 AM and Monica and Jacque are finishing their touches to their suitcases, both glance in the mirror only to find there isn't one single hair out of place!  They put on their clothing attire to find that they look 20 pounds skinnier, even though they had eaten a hershey kiss the night before.  Monica says, "We should probably double check and call into work to see if they need us."  Jacque says, "Ok".  Monica picks up the telephone .. phones in work.. only to hear, "You are such a great asset to the company, enjoy your couple of days off PAID".

They walk outside to see flowers laying on their sidewalk addressed to them.. WOW secret admirers!
They jump in the car, not a blemish on their face, everything packed and head to the gas station to fill up.  Wow.. 25 cents a gallon.  You know how far we can make it with 25 cents a gallon?!?   They buy a scratchoff ticket and realize they just won a 2001 Convertible Ford Mustang.  They drive to the dealership.. and pick it up.  They head on and  do one hundred down highway 69... flying past police, they just wave and smile and they suddenly find ourselves in a strange city that they have never been or heard of before.  Monica looks up at the sign that says Welcome to Bloomville.

Jacque!, where are we on the map?!?  I don't remember ever hearing about this City."  Jacque looks and says
.. well umm.. I don't know.. we took all the exits that we needed to.  Hmmm... they both scratched their heads.

They drive into the town with confusion and curiosity.  Blooming flowers around them.. scents of vanilla in the air.  Wow!! It sure does look beautiful here, Monica Says.  Jacque adds.. where is that vanilla smell coming from?!?  It was all around them.  Wow, a city that doesn't stink.  They pull up to this restaraunt, and read the sign.  Schlongs?!?  Is this some kind of new chain or something?  They walk in and get seated by this guy that looks like Ben Affleck.  Stunned, Monica says nothing and just stares at Jacque.  Jacque stares back.  They both look around to find, that there weren't any girls working there.    Only guys in silk boxer shorts.  Woman,!!! We are in heaven!   They open the menus only to find cuisines 5 grams of fat and under.  Wow, Char broiled hamburger with bacon , mayo and lettuce! 3 grams of fat!  Chocolate Mousse Pie.. 2 grams of fat.  Monica looks at Jacque and says, Woman, what planet are we on?  Pinch me and wake me up because I feel like I'm dreaming.    A guy that looks like Matt Damon walks up and says, Hello ladies.. you both look gorgeous today, Can I start you off with an appertizer?  They both Chuckle.. appetizer .. *cough*.   Stricken by what they were at eye level with,  their faces get beat red.

I would like to place an order, but first... where in the hell is Bloomville?, Monica says.  Things have been very strange today.. everything just seems "perfect" and we some how end up in this city that isn't even on the map.  The waiter says, ladies... you are in a city.. where it never snows, sun always shines.. guys call when they say their gonna call, 50% off sales everyday, no limit credit cards, malls are open 24 hours, 7 days a week, and there is nothing but beautiful people here, and of course at Schlongs all food is less then 5 grams of fat per serving,

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

freakin alarm clock!!!!
 

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