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Author: just_like_rogue (K Marie)
Title: Fools Who Fall Behind
Rating: Adult.
Disclaimer: XMen don't belong to me. I am not Stan Lee, Bryan Singer, or anybody at Fox. Title comes from a Fuel song. I am not any of the guys in Fuel either.
Summary: "She says that love is for fools who fall behind, And I'm somewhere in between, I never really know, A killer from a savior"
Written for: illmantrim
Pairing/scenario requested: Scott/Rogue. Post X2 Future fic in which Rogue finds solace in a friend, which leads to more.
Warnings (if any): I'm not in the best mood writing this. If you know my writing, you know what that mean. Otherwise you get no warnings as they *might* be spoilery.
A/N: Thanks to unanon for the beta.
Nothing seemed to be going her way. The day that started out badly seemed like it would never end. It didn't help that she didn't like needles. And Hank seemed intent on getting that needle to go in.
****
Logan had been gone for over five years. But it still hit her sometimes when she woke up. This morning it hit hard. He left with just a note to say bye. No explanation, nothing saying he was going to be coming back.
The laces on her favorite pair of shoes had broken. She was late for breakfast. Her lipstick had smeared when she wiped the coffee off her lips.
She was late for the meeting. Missed hearing what they would be going up against.
Then there was Carol. That didn't turn out well.
****
She left Scott a note, apologizing. Not making excuses, simply saying she had had a bad day. She didn't expect him to understand, but for what it was worth, that's what had happened.
****
Hank had finally gotten that damn needle in. Gotten the blood he needed. Rogue was walking out of the door when she ran into Scott.
"I'm sorry you had a bad day."
"I'm sorry we had to hightail it out of there because of me."
"How are you feeling?"
"I just want to sleep. For like, the rest of my life. Ya know?"
"Yeah. You gonna be ok?"
"Maybe."
"If you need to talk, you know I'm here, right?"
"Yeah. Thanks Scott."
****
The nightmares didn't start 'til much later. Waking up, not knowing who she was. Screaming when the hair falling around her was brown, not blonde. Finding herself floating near the top of the ceiling. Pulling the door off of the wall, without even trying.
Scott was always there. To make her feel safe. To remind her of who she was. That she was Rogue, Marie. Not Carol.
****
Scott tried. It was hard; her mind wasn't keeping up with reality. When she remembered that she was Marie, she wouldn't remember things like Jean being dead, or Logan leaving. When she was Carol, no one knew what to expect. And the other times, when the other dominant personalities in her head got to be in control, those were the worst. Magneto knew just how to hurt him, but Scott kept trying. Logan kept picking fights. John just kept torching stuff. Through out it all, Scott just kept trying.
Hank had figured out that it would be permanent. Rogue would always be like this. Mood swings and personality swapping included.
Scott had to tell her. Professor Xavier offered, but Scott knew he had to tell her.
****
"Rogue?"
"Yeah, Scott?"
"It's going to be permanent. Hank told us earlier. I wanted to be the one who told you."
"SHIT! Why the fuck does this keep happening to me, Scott?"
"I don't know."
"What the fuck. I'm not going on any more missions, am I?"
"No."
"Or any of the great parties, cause you never know who's gonna fucking show up, do you?"
"It probably wouldn't be a good idea. Rogue, I'm sorry."
"You're fucking sorry? That's rich, One-eye."
"Logan, go the hell away. I need to talk to her."
"Yeah, well, she ain't talkin'."
"Damn it Marie, you will talk to me."
"Making demands will do you no good, Scott."
"Fuck you Erik. Let me talk to Marie."
"Ain't happening, Mr. Summers. She's holed up in there. Not coming out, either."
"Tell her I'm here when she needs to talk, John."
"Will do."
*****
She knew that Scott wouldn't yell or cuss out John. John in her head was still a seventeen year old boy, still a student. Didn't matter that the last time she had touched John had been almost ten years ago. She needed the chance to think. Sending John let her do that.
Now he was firmly locked up, with all the other personalities in her head.
This was all her. Only her. She was glad once more for having gained control a few years back.
****
She knocked, and entered without waiting.
"Marie, what's going on?"
"I don't want to talk. Just make it feel real, ok?" She grabbed his face in her hands, pressing her lips to his. She kissed him hard, not letting go until the need for air became an issue.
"Marie, I--"
"Damn it, Scott. Just do this for me, please? I won't ask anything else."
"Marie, I don't want to do anything to hurt you."
"You didn't, you won't. Just fuck me already."
"Marie," he started to say.
"God damn it. Just be a fucking man. You are the best looking man on this team. You're also the only one I trust with my life. I'm only asking for one little favor. And it's only me up here, if that's what you're worried about."
She waited for any type of movement, and after a few minutes, turned to the door. Scott grabbed her before she could take her first step.
It was the best damn kiss of her life.
The rest had yet to be seen. But if it was anywhere close to Jean's memories, she was in for a good time.
*****
The bed was empty when Scott woke up. He didn't figure her for the type to stick around anyway.
He headed down for breakfast after a shower. The kids seemed to be upset about something.
Could be anything. He was hungry.
Jubilee sat down in front of him, her eyes red from crying.
"What's going on?"
"She's gone."
"What? When? What happened?"
"Went to see if she was up, there was a note. Obviously, she found something that can cut through her skin fairly easily."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Logan's back. He was passed out on the floor beside her. His claws were out. She slit her wrists Scott."
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