used to bring
clarity
knowledge
but now
thoughts are muddled
and I miss the
familiarity
of
clarity
is
self-imposed emotion
that often breaks
open
apart
and distracts from
happiness.
Nicely wrapped packages
of
suicidal tendencies
insecurities
and
episodes of depression.
Will it never stop?
Unhappiness attacks from all sides
and I'm drowning
in darkness
that I have
voluntarily created
because it makes
me
sad.
of contradictions
grows within me.
How can it be
that I enjoy and
love
my depression?
I created it
for myself
long ago.
so easily manifested
they break
the surface
my spirit
calming numb
washes
over me
yet the calm is unsettling.
delusions of self-importance
self-esteem
these things are not real.
