| Sunny Side Up! Sept. 5, 2001 �2001, by Kathleen Gibson A Matter of Propriety �You have to really-ize, Amanda, that these are MY toys.� Anthony, four, holding court on the orange shag rug in the middle of the living room, was addressing his eighteen-month-old sister. Calmly and firmly. His stuffed animals and a half-built Lego structure surrounded him. And one toddler, eager to share it all and demanding to put her own creative stamp on his building project. But he wasn�t having any part of it. He knew there was an option. Earlier I�d told him, when he wanted to play with one of my �toys�, �No, honey. It�s a very nice thing, but it�s easy to break, and it�s Mommy�s.� He respected that request. Now he was asking his sister to do the same for him. But toddlers aren�t big on respect. She badgered, teased, pouted. Finally, frustrated, her brother piled his toys onto his favorite blanket, gathered the corners together and dragged the whole lot into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He didn�t feel like sharing today, thank you. I let him go. Today�s lesson seemed to be learning to respect others� things. Tomorrow, perhaps, we�d work on sharing. Besides, I understood. There are days when I don�t feel much like sharing either. And there are circumstances when one shouldn�t have to. Amanda, now grown, went out to the family car the other morning. It was open. The cubbyhole door was yawning too. Maps, papers, serviettes�.strewn everywhere. The loonie we keep for Superstore buggies was�predictably�absent. We checked Anthony�s car. Ditto. About twenty cars had been hit that week, the officer said. Beginners. Young kids looking for spare change, evidenced by the fact that no stereos or CD�s were stolen. Give �em six months and they�ll be driving the cubbyhole away before they riffle through it. Once upon a time, ten moral directives were taught diligently at home and generally reinforced by school, church, and media. Our laws are based on them. Their consistent teaching and modeling was a powerful ally in the raising of responsible children. They were called the Ten Commandments and they were neatly capsulated by Jesus in the Golden Rule. But somewhere the baton was dropped, and �Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,� has become, �Do unto others whatever you want to.� Even if it means stealing from them. But the experience of our looted cars wasn�t completely negative. The police hoped to catch the offenders before they graduated to bigger thefts. Perhaps they�d left their fingerprints. In order to find out, the officers first needed to rule out the prints of the car�s owners. So, would the Gibsons please come to the station and donate their sets of fingerprints? My, said the officer cheerfully, as he pulled on the Preacher�s fingers as though they were cow�s teats, rolling each first across the ink, then the paper. My, how nice to have cooperative subjects! Not every clergy family gets that opportunity. Even if it did cost a loonie. You can respond to this column at [email protected] |