| Sunny Side Up Oct. 2, 2002 �2002, Kathleen Gibson Never on a Sunday Most people don�t expect to hear about sex during the Sunday morning sermon. So last Sunday, when the Preacher announced his sermon topic, I feared the communal gasp may suck him clear off the platform. He�s doing a series on �Wine, Women and Song��Exploding the Popular Myths of Personal Fulfillment. Last Sunday was the second W�women� �or as you�ve already guessed,� he explained, �society�s concept of sex.� A massive intake of breath swept the sanctuary. I felt the gust all the way from my seat, second row, piano side�nearly had to hold on to the pew. Good thing my biggest Bible sat on my lap. It weighs me down some. There are some Sundays when being the pastor�s wife isn�t fun. I tried to catch his eye, to signal that he�d be sleeping alone that night if he used a personal illustration. But ever since that Sunday�decades ago�when I winked at him mid-sermon, he�s never once glanced at me while preaching. Funny, that. Furious whispers issued from the back of the church. I�m guessing that one of the pre-schoolers who sits back there was�as she always does�repeating the more interesting words she hears from the pulpit. One word, three letters, I suspect. Now, pastors know that humor is the best approach to an uncomfortable subject. So when the wind calmed, he told a joke relevant to the subject of the day. A giggle started behind me and almost spun itself into hysteria. One member of a married couple in my sight line jabbed the other with an elbow. Someone down the pew from me laughed so hard the pew shook. It had to be a memorable occasion for the pair sitting mid-church. They�d only been engaged thirty-six hours. The congregation took a while to settle that morning. There was an unusually long period of shifting and clearing of throats. Then, finally, silence. That sharp kind of quiet that happens when ears are keenly tuned and hearts are standing on tiptoe. I was proud of the Preacher. Really I was. He�s right�the whole world is talking about sex�the entertainment industry, the schools, the government, the medical professionals, the courts. Shouldn�t the church have something to say too? After all, it was God who made us sexual beings. He designed sex, and called it good! It�s time, the Preacher said, that we paid attention to the designer�s instructions for maximum pleasure. It�s right there in the manual, that same Bible that helped me keep my seat: One man plus one woman committed to each other in love and marriage equals the best possible sex. Thankfully, the Preacher didn�t embarrass me by using personal illustrations. I�m almost sorry. Instead of the usual quarter I threaten to extort for the use of live examples, I�m sure I could have gotten a fiver. Still, it was one of those sermons I would have preferred to watch on TV. If this column made you laugh, cry, think, get mad or otherwise respond, please email me at [email protected] |
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