| Sunny Side Up Oct 16, 2002 � 2002, Kathleen Gibson Parishioners are appreciated too I never wanted to be a minister�s wife. Even as a child I knew that my solitary, daydreaming, spontaneous ways weren�t clergy wife material�at least, not the impeccable stuff I saw in my pastor�s wives. I might overrun the manse with animals, forget to vacuum. I may get captivated by a book and miss church all together. I�d never be good at serving tea and dainties, and�God forbid�I might have an emotion in public! When I was around ten our church was pastored by a tall, strict man. The Rev. George Fitch seldom smiled. Fluent in King James English, he �thee-ed� and �thou-ed� and pounded the pulpit until I was afraid it would rock clear off the platform. I thought he must be very holy indeed, and he scared me. Occasionally George dropped his wife, Irene, off at our home while he visited other parishioners. She and my mother were friends. I�ll never forget one of those visits. As her husband�s car rolled out the driveway, Irene stood at the picture window and waved him off. And that was the last moment I ever thought of her as a typical minister�s wife. Milliseconds later she flung off both coat and gloves, winged her pillbox hat clear across the room, picked up her skirt, and started to dance. Around the kitchen table she went, chanting �George is gone, George is gone! Now I can have fun.� My mother�s hand flew to cover her mouth, as if she wasn�t sure whether it was right to laugh. She gave in finally, and the two giggled over tea and cake till George came back. I watched Irene when he walked in. It was as though she was pleating herself back together, back into what she felt was expected of her as the �Preacher�s wife.� On with the pillbox hat, on with the gloves and the high heels. On with the mask. Irene visited often. I�ve often thought that her motto must have been: When life pushes you into a mold, always find a safe place to come unstuck. At our home she was merely �Irene�, and she thrived on the acceptance. The Preacher was ordained into full-time ministry a dozen years or so after I knew Irene. As a clergy wife, I�ve done all the things I feared I would. I�ve stuck my nose in a book and missed church altogether. I�ve overrun the manse with animals. I�ve had emotions in public. And rather than dainties, clumsies are my forte. Huge oatmeal cookies. Giant pots of soup. I wish I could thank Irene. She demonstrated two things to me. How vital it is, amidst others�expectations, to be true to who I really am, and how important it is to seek out people with whom it�s safe to let loose. October is Clergy Appreciation month. But today I�d like to thank parishioners everywhere who accept their clergy families as they are; who provide safe places to �come unstuck.� We appreciate you too. If this column brought to your mind a memory, a reflection, an idea....email me at [email protected] |
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