| Sunny Side Up Nov. 16, 2005 �2005, Kathleen Gibson Prayers that don't work This prayer hangs in my friend Linda's washroom: "God, if you can't make me thin, at least make my friends fat!" And have you ever sent up this humorous petition? "Lord, give me patience, and send it RIGHT NOW!" I'd love to see God's face when he hears prayers like that�.or these: Father, make me a good partner. Fix my spouse. Lord, please schedule the sunrise at noon tomorrow so I can see it. God, tomorrow I'm going to ask you to help me stop procrastinating. Father, help me read my Bible more - how's once a week on Saturday evening, when there's no hockey? God, I'm out of money; please send rich friends. Jesus, make me love people. And help the creep next door to move soon. Lord, please reschedule ball games so we can go to church on Sundays! Father, keep me focused - oh, just a sec while I get my coffee - on my prayers this morning. Lord, help me to stop insisting on my own way - make me exactly like Emma. Two things today, Father: Help me to trust you to provide for my needs, and make my credit card application go through. Lord, point me to those who I can serve today, and please send someone to help that guy back there with the flat. God, help me to admit when I'm wrong, even when I know I'm not. Jesus, keep me humble, so others notice. Lord, I'll go anywhere, do anything, be whatever. Anything's possible on a six week mission trip. So many people have wrong attitudes, Father. Thanks for keeping me free of them. Lord, if you want me to stop drinking, shut down the liquor stores. Jesus, make me a light that attracts others to you. And keep me out of dark places. Lord, make me serious about helping the less fortunate�.wait a sec, that's me! Father, help me not to fuss about inconsequential things so much, or should I say 'help me not to fuss so much about inconsequential things?' I have decided to follow you, Jesus, anywhere, anytime. (Except during CSI.) Sweet Jesus, give me will power! But not till after I finish these chocolates. We smile (though I suspect God grimaces) at those prayers. But I really like this prayer, written decades ago by a fiery old evangelist named Uncle Buddy Robinson: O Lord, give me a backbone as big as a sawlog, And ribs like the sleepers under the church floor. Put iron shoes on me and galvanized breeches, And give me a rhinoceros hide for a skin; And hang a wagon load of determination up in the gable end of my soul. And help me to sign the contract to fight the devil as long as I have got a fist, and bite him as long as I've got a tooth, and then gum him till I die. All this I ask, for Christ's sake. Amen. ~ That works. Respond Home |
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