| Sunny Side Up, March 2, 2005 �2005, Kathleen Gibson Evangelical tradition for the uninitiated First time church attendance can be confusing - even embarrassing. 'Catholicism for Dummies' hadn't been written yet when I made my first visit to a Catholic church as a teen - I thought the kneeling benches were footrests. Evangelical Protestant churches, I'm familiar with. If you plan to attend one of those any time soon, here's a little of what you may find there. (Tongue in cheek, mind you.) We have a few peculiarities, we evangelicals, starting right at the door. We have greeters - like Wal-Mart. They'll say hello and hand you a program when you walk in. A bulletin actually. After you get yours, you may sit anywhere without kneeling first. In more liturgical churches, the congregants aren't often told how to act. That's built in; written on the back of their eyelids. Evangelicals boss: Please stand; you may be seated; turn to p. 535; everybody clap; turn around and shake hands. Simon says sit! If you see the words 'special music' in the bulletin, here's what it means: If you've been asked to go up front to sing a solo, that's 'special'. If you and one to three others go up front and sing in a group, you're still 'special'. But if you get up with many other 'someones,' and someone else directs you, you're not 'special'. You're in the choir. If you and several others stand up front and lead the congregation in singing, you're on the 'worship' team'. Worship leaders may do and say whatever they want; sing with their eyes shut or open, raise their hands, talk out loud between songs. You may do the first two at your pew. Try the third and tell me what happens. Most evangelical churches don't sing many hymns anymore; choruses are more popular these days. Here's how to tell the difference: A hymn was likely written by someone currently dead. You'll find its words and music in a thick hardcover book on the pew in front of you. Hymns have words like bulwark and uttermost. If your grandmother sang church songs - those were hymns. In her day, they were likely choruses. Choruses are the new hymns; they just haven't made it into the hardcover books yet because their writers are still alive. Their words are usually up front on a screen. You likely won't know the choruses. Relax. You'll have it nailed by the twentieth repeat - providing you can still stand. Our clergy seldom wear robes or collars. They, preach, pray, and baptize but they don't forgive sins. Most have wives. Some have husbands, but God talks to them anyway. Evangelical churches don't hold Bingos to raise money. We take offerings. We believe God owns all our money and every week we decide how much we'll let him use. (Visitors aren't expected to contribute.) Tongue out of cheek: No matter how strange at first, any church where the Bible is taught, Jesus is preached, and people are loved, has free life-changing resources for families and individuals. Try attending. Simon says....Respond here Go Home |
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