| Sunny Side Up with Kathleen Gibson Do you have an abuser in your church? She met me near the church stairs. I could see by the steely glint in her eyes that she had something to say, and it didn�t look pleasant. I had (till now) respected this long-time member and leader. That respect evaporated when she opened her mouth, stuffed me in, pulverized me, and finally spat me back out; quivering in horror and astonishment. Nothing in my life remained untouched. Myself and the Preacher, our ministry and children�all toppled under the crushing blows of her strident voice. For over ten minutes she spewed lies, vicious rumors, and malicious opinions. Those words clung. For weeks, I couldn�t control the near panic that engulfed me and installed wings on my feet with each glimpse of her (now sweetly smiling) face. Though I knew her attack was rooted in Satan�s camp, self-doubt and fear clamored for entrance to my spirit. In the aftermath of our confrontation, the best aspects of our ministry in the time we�d served that church flew from my memory. So did my sense of God�s faithfulness to us in years previous. Oh, I tried. But even though I felt God�s nearness during my private moments of solitude, I almost stopped attending church�not a good thing, when you�re married to the pastor. Weeks later, it almost happened again. She waited by the coat rack this time, her lips pursed, her eyes bright with the fire of another round of ammunition. �Not again, Lord,� I prayed. �I can�t go there again. The bruises are still yellow!� I�ll never forget what happened next. A handful of women who knew of or had witnessed the previous incident, surrounded me, strength and a fierce protection radiating from their smiles. The woman at the coat rack waited a few minutes, then slipped out the door. I never discovered what she was waiting to say, but I know this: guardian angels of encouragement surrounded me when I most needed them. The best quality of encouragement always comes from those who have walked a path we�ve walked ourselves�I learned that each of those women had also been �battered� by the tongue of this woman, some frequently. Thankfully, encouragers vastly outnumber abusers in our churches. But even a single incident of abuse�of any kind�casts a pall over us. Sadly, many abusers don�t show their true colors until placed in leadership. Entrenched, they�re difficult to remove. Their abuse often�oddly�piggybacks a seemingly genuine desire to do what�s best for the church, or occurs when they feel their control slipping. I don�t know the answers, but I know this�admission of any problem is always the first step to its solution. If you�re aware of abuse in your church, don�t ignore it. Prayerfully address it in whatever circles have the power to initiate change. According to Christ, the most attracting quality of any church is how genuinely its members love each other. Anything less, and we delude ourselves that we�re doing God�s business. July 30, 2008 � 2008, Kathleen Gibson Respond Home |
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