| Sunny Side Up July 19, 2006 �2006, Kathleen Gibson Civility is still golden Three recent events have made me an official Nostalgian. Amanda and Kendall reported on a wedding they attended. After the vows the minister announced the newlyweds, the exit music began, and they stood. You've likely done that often - or maybe not. In respect for those brave enough to publicly commit to marriage, a congregation traditionally rises when the bride enters. They sit during the vows, and pop up again when the couple leaves the sanctuary. That's a small cordiality, a societal blessing on the institution of marriage. Rather, it used to be. No one else stood. The guests merely turned in their seats to watch the bridal party exit. Standing alone near the back, Amanda and Kendall felt as conspicuous as scarecrows in a newly planted field. Despite multiple condescending smirks, they didn't budge, The second event happened during a recent civil celebration. Everyone knows - I thought - that when our national flag enters a room, those in attendance rise in respect - even faster if it's carried by war veterans. It's one way to honor the enormous sacrifices they've made so that the likes of you and I can live safe and free. So when the opening ceremonies began and a group of flag-toting vets marched in, the Preacher and I and a handful of others stood. But apparently everyone doesn't know that. Until the emcee requested them to rise, most in the arena stuck to their seats like barnacles. The third incident occurred while trying to exit a crowded parking lot after the closing of a large grandstand event. Thousands of drivers inched their way down the main road toward the exit. Others waited at the side to merge into the flow. At every merge our driver stopped to allow one car to slide in ahead of us. That's a rule of polite driving. (People used to know that too.) In a merge situation, each car stops to let in one car, and each merging car awaits his turn. That night, drivers in the merge lanes hooked bumpers to squeeze in several at a time. Drivers in the main lane accelerated to avoid sharing. I've traveled in the congested streets of India's cities - despite an astonishing lack of regulatory signs and traffic lights, Indian drivers seemed far more courteous. Those three incidents precipitated my first unintentional recitation of the Nostalgian creed: "Things were better when�" I read about a forest where birdsong dwindled, then died completely, along with the tiny songsters. It happened so gradually nobody cared - until the forest too, died. Could the loss of our seemingly unimportant cordialities be a similarly ominous harbinger of societal descent? Cordiality, courtesy, respect for others - these attitudes of civility, when practiced, weave a fragile shawl that protects a society from complete abandonment to self-interest and ultimately, anarchy. Jesus addressed that in the Golden Rule. You likely know it. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But it's practicing it that matters. Take it from the newest Nostalgian. Respond Home |
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