| Sunny Side Up February 20, 2002 �2002, Kathleen Gibson A friend in need, needs a friend indeed I am rich in my friends. They�re all over the world, in several continents. Most of my friendships are like desert cacti�they thrive in spite of neglect. I don�t cultivate hothouse friends. You know the kind I mean�very high maintenance. If you don�t call every week, they�re offended, and it takes a flower or a card or tea out before they�ll warm up again. Truthfully, I don�t have time for all that. My best friends understand this�they�re made of the same stuff, though we try to be there for each other when needed. I don�t always excel at this. I have an older friend I cherish. We don�t spend much time together, but since we met a decade ago, we�ve had a friendship that�s held firmly in place, and the little time we share is precious to us both. She�s the grandmother I hope to be one day�creative, fun-loving, spiritually perceptive�the youngest oldster I know, I tell her regularly. I called her the other day. She�d been on my mind�even in my prayers�but I hadn�t phoned in a while. I�d tried once or twice, and when there was no answer, I stopped trying for a time. I disappointed her, she said gently when she heard my voice. (Her tactful frankness is one of the qualities I admire.) She�d been sick for months, and after an initial burst of sympathy, soup, and visits, I�d not shown my face or called, not at all. Some way for a friend to behave. I sputtered excuses. I�ve been busy, I said. Writing deadlines to meet, speaking engagements to prepare for, a community play to help produce, and oh, yes�a household to run. I have a long list of friends waiting for calls; you�re in good company, I joked. I�m truly sorry for disappointing you, I told her. I had no intention to. Too mature to carry a grudge, my friend graciously accepted my apology, and we had a pleasant conversation. But I thought about our friendship long after I�d put the receiver back on its cradle. All she needed from me was something I could easily have given. A call to say I was still thinking of her, praying for her. An offer to fetch something she needed from the store. I could have done that instead of watching that hour of television. Or dawdling over my afternoon tea. I�d had the time�I just used it for other things. My friend deserved better from me and I disappointed her. But in her disappointment she offered something I sorely needed�forgiving grace. The same kind of grace God gives me when I disappoint him and am truly sorry. I hope I can offer that kind of grace the next time someone disappoints me. But I also hope I remember that being a true friend sometimes means setting aside my own schedule. A friend in need, after all, needs a friend indeed. You can respond to this article at [email protected] |