| Sunny Side Up! August 15, 2001 �2001, by Kathleen Gibson Big dogs and bejeebies add zest to life I�m never allowed to pass in silence, not by those backyards. The dogs tell on me, every time. Well, except for Jesse, whose sleek black coat gleams in the sun where she lies...and lies�and lies. But Rottweilers Sebastian and Sophie nearly scare the bejeebies out of me with their deep-throated chorus, even if they are fenced and chained, and Duchess pushes her fat Hush-Puppy self out of her doghouse to declare, �Stranger in lane, stranger in lane!� Sparky is usually indoors, but I hear his warning to the retriever next door even through the wood and glass that separate us. Magic lives around the corner from there. I�ve walked by him so often I think he knows me. �Hey Magic,� I say softly. �White Magic, how�re ya doing today?� He dashes to and fro, running flat out between the fences on either side of his yard, finally stopping at the far one to turn circles like a demented thing until I�m two backyards down. Then he barks and I smile. We always do that. I like those dogs, but I�m glad they�re behind fences. Once, while cycling on a country road I heard a rising chorus of woofs and looked back to see two large dogs in hot pursuit. Granted sudden motivation, I out-pedaled those pups in a few hundred yards. When I looked back they were both sprawled on the gravel road, tongues hanging out. I could swear they were laughing. Next time, I vowed, I�ll get off my bike and stick up for myself. Chicken. It was on the school-field behind my house that I had my biggest dog-generated fright of all. I was walking by the rink when I noticed them, playing ball with their owners. They looked just like the two dogs that scare the�.. well, you know. I�m not particularly round, but they found me more interesting than their ball. Ignoring their owner�s calls, they catapulted out the rink toward me. What should one do when confronted by two charging Rottweilers? I stood very still, and very straight. God, are you paying attention over here? The larger dog became airborne about two meters away. There was only time to register his powerful, open, scissor jaws before his paws were on my shoulders and his vast pink tongue slopping like a wet dishrag over my chin. His only slightly smaller companion was leaping, panting greetings into my ear. My heart resumed ticking. �Uh, are they at all aggressive?� I managed around a faceful of dog as the owner padded toward us. �Oh, no,� he said, appearing relieved to find me breathing and cognizant. (Barely, but I act well.) It was a few moments before my legs allowed me to continue, but I made it home. And headed straight to the washroom, to see if the bejeebies had indeed been scared out of me. God, this terrestial ball wouldn�t be half as interesting without the canine species, but did you have to make Rottweilers so big? You can respond to this column at [email protected] |