Visualizing myself out of the physical body, putting myself beyond the all that can be seen, heard, touched, smelled or tasted, I was more able to see the solution to all my problems. Although it's very important to be honest to yourself, sometimes the hardest thing is to be honest to you and you only, you don’t need no one now. Not your mother or your father, not your partner, not your children, not anybody. Just you. Be aware of YOU. Let yourself to exist for yourself now, for just a second. Just for this single moment in time.
Everybody is afraid to admit itself certain issues that's bothering him/her. So it’s nothing unusual, it’s a common thing.

As my results are getting better, I'm sure that no one needs medications, therapists, doctors, person to talk to, no one. The problem wasn't caused by other persons, it's in your very mind. Everything is in your mind. Everything has a countless numbers of perspectives and everything can be explained in numerous ways.

Maybe I'm not in a very deep state of depression, but that doesn't mean what I write you, can't help you a bit. The treatment is the same, the deeper state of depression only means you created in your mind stronger walls around yourself and locked yourself in it. Someone creates a wall from strow so a small wind of change comes and blows it off. I built the wall from wood, around my mind. So it’s hard for me to break it throw but not impossible. But someone built the wall from stones, or bricks and cement. He left just a small window but covered with metal bars. Someone built himself a prison over the years, and locked himself in it. He convicted him self on a penal servitude. But the problem is that the prisoner hasn’t done anything wrong, he’s been innocent all the time. Can you believe you did that to yourself? You restricted yourself. You forced yourself to thing this way. And why is that?

FEAR

Because, you're afraid of failure. Everything you desperately want to do is to defend your ego, your deepest self from failure of live. From the judgment of your surroundings and community, for being a looser. I don't want to be a failure, everybody will laugh to me and humiliate me. Everybody will reject me, nobody will be proud of me, nobody will love me, and my closest will be disappointed in me. I will be a complete failure, a complete moron, nobody, nobody important, my life will be nothing, will mean nothing, I want to die now. I don't want to live anymore that way. I don't want to fight because I'm weak, I can't struggle anymore with the everyday problems, I'm too afraid. I can't get out, I can't work, I can't concentrate, and I want to die. I just don't want to live no longer. I don't want to be here. I hate this world. It's not fair. There's no justice. There's no faith. I can't do anything right. I'm not free. I'm always under influence of others. I always must do what others tell me to do, what others expert from me. I can't make my own decisions. Maybe I would like to spend my life different, but I can't because no one will let me to. Maybe I'm laden with past. Oh God, why didn't I do that? Why I did that? I've been a moron. I let my life go wasted. That's OK. But I'm continuing to be a moron, I keep letting my life go wasted, telling myself everyday – it will be different tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow. I can't today. I'm tired, I have no energy, and I have no will. I just cannot. I'm desperate. Why I was born in the first place? I shouldn't be born. It would be better for me if I wasn't even born.
Maybe I have it all, maybe I have no reason to feel this way, but I do. And no one can tell me different.

I'm too labile person, everything affects me on a personal level, everything shakes me, when something around me happens that has a direct connection to me, I can't function no more. I can't think straight, I can't concentrate, I'm lost. Nothing keeps me happy, nothing is important to me anymore, everything that’s happening I don’t look with joy or pleasure, everything is the same color, and everything is gray. It’s a difficult living with those kinds of emotions. I’m only 21 and I already know this. Isn’t this sad?

But it’s real. I want to put all the cards on the table, I don’t want to keep anything to myself no more. I don’t want to shut in my own shell and never come out of that. I want to admit everything to myself and others? I told you it’s going to be hard!

But it’s more difficult to live this way. With no joy of life, with just an occasionally risen amplitude of life, when something great happens and cheers you up, but it lasts no longer then a day or two. It’s hard to live uptight and tensed, it’s hard to be always wooden, it’s hard to live without fun, it’s difficult not knowing how to have fun, how to enjoy life? It’s hard my friend.

All those feelings you experienced and keep experiencing right now, set you million light years away from you, your true being, the very you who exist in no physical shape, who has no name, who just is. When you traveled so far, you must have traveled months, years, to get there so, don’t expect to be back in a day. But the return will be quicker. You will travel on the wings of perception and knowledge. They will let you go back. You’re like a lost traveler on the road to happiness. You wandered big time. But have no fear, they’ll get you home.

THE LIMITS

I’ve been thinking a long time before I decided to start writing my thoughts. I’ve been experiencing all those feelings I written before, and I understand the problems. Something was just telling me to start writing, something is speaking through me. I’m not aware that I know something till the moment it comes out of my mind and I write it with my hands. Then I realize I already known that. It has been here all the time, and I couldn’t reach it no matter how hard I tried.

Be aware of that, that I won’t tell you anything new, I’ll tell you what you already know, what you have always known, but you just couldn’t reached it because you were limited yourself, you couldn’t put the peaces together. You couldn’t solve the puzzle. But now you will. I promise you that.

Can you believe that fear is causing all those problems to you? Fear makes you sad, fear don’t let you do what you desire, fear is limiting you in any way you can possibly imagine! So it’s not hard to put 2 and 2 together. If we manage to get rid of the fear, will be able to do anything, anything. The sky is the limit.

I came to a cognizance that I drowned myself in a river of fear, and built a great stone wall around myself to protect me from the outsiders, from the intruders that want to break my boundaries and reach into the city of my life, my mind, the my truly self. I even hide some truths from myself to keep me safe and protected, to keep my ego health and not hurt.
That’s got to stop the second I put the dot on the end of this sentence.

CONFESSION

Now I want you to grab a piece of paper and take a confession with yourself. Tell yourself everything. Write it down, what’s bothering you, what problems do you have, and why? Who is causing them and why? I’m not kidding. Everything that’s on your mind, everything that don’t let’s you be peaceful, everything that’s don’t let’s you be happy. You seriously must, written it all down on the paper. The very important thing is to be honest to yourself. No one will read this, just you, so be honest. Once in your life, you have to do that to yourself. The moment you reach that, you’ll become free.

Admit yourself that you’re scared about what everybody around you is going to say on your actions! Admit yourself that you fear of being unsuccessful and that keeps holding you back. You constantly avoid doing things because you are afraid. Know that!. Just try to realize that, and once you did try to overcome it. See that you’re better. See that everything that was keeping you tied down is just an imaginary fear. That, this fear exist no longer. He was here while you didn’t realized that you’re in control now. You can and you will be in control in your own life. Your mind can do miracles. The fear was there because he was necessary. He showed you the right way, he kept you safe while you were young and while your ego couldn’t survive some high risk taking actions, while the damage would be too high and
irreparable. He stayed because you wouldn’t let him go away. You have been accustomed to his presence, to his help in your life, to show you the difference between right and wrong, to teach you to be careful, to teach you how to look after yourself. To show you what you can and cannot do. But now, you don’t need him any more. You are capable of managing on your own. You truly don’t need him anymore. But don’t be angry of him. Smile on your fear. Tell him ‘thank you’ for being here when I needed you. But now I don’t need you anymore. Because I’m a grown up. I can do on my own now. I want you to let me control my own life again, but don’t totally go away. Stay here, jostle somewhere in the alleys of my unconscious mind, in case I might need you sometimes.

Once you’ve done that, sit down and realize how you feel great now. Realize how your life is easier now, how it’s simpler. From just this single action. How do you feel better, relieved. Relaxed, like never before. I know you feel great now. But that’s just the beginning.

THOUGHT RUSH HOUR

I feel like my head is going to explode how much thought I’m experiencing all in the same time. I just want to slow it all down. Slow that busy thought traffic, I can’t think straight, I can’t focus on the exact thing, and everything keeps coming to my mind. So I sat down in absolute silence, when there’s not a single sound disturbing my thoughts. I just felt a relieve, taking a long breath inhaling slowly, and exhaling slowly. I kept watching my slow rhythm of breathing. I was completely focused on my breathing. And after minute or two, I felt differently. Calmly, peacefully, relieved. I was more able to distract the thoughts that are coming to me, I was able to hear my own thoughts and the rush in my head slowed down completely. When I accomplished that, when I succeeded to think straight I felt kind of smarter. In that relaxed state, I now tried to think about my personal problems that keep hunting me every minute of every hour of every day of my life for the past 2 months. I was thinking about them, and how they reflect about my life, how they influence of me, and why are they coming to me? I realized that everything is happening with the reason, and everything is here to teach me something. Before I was unable to draw out the conclusion from my experiences, from things that happen to me, that affect my life. Good or bad, it’s not important at all. The most important thing is to see and understand the message that’s been told me through good or bad stuff. When I finally see it, than I don’t need my own problems anymore. Really, I don’t need them no more. Can you believe this? It’s truly amazing! I’m sure you can accomplish the same. Try to understand what’s only imaginary beyond you, try to understand everything, and when you manage to do that, you’ll realize that you already known that, that this was just here on the palm of your hand, on the backside of your mind all the time, all the time you were desperate, all the time you hated yourself and your life, when you thought there’s no exit from the bad situation you’re been experiencing. When you thought it never will be better, and when you were saturated with life itself. When you wanted to end it in any way. When you were considering raising a hand on yourself, or you wanted God to be your executioner. When you wanted him to put you out of your miseries.

It doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not. But just realize, that there must be something greater then you, more powerful and smarter then you. That something arranged things how they are. I know you’ve been desperate many times in your life, you were angry of yourself and the whole world. I know you experienced injustice, I know you have been a victim sometime. Don’t cry over your destiny no longer. Try to think of it beyond the material and physical world. I’m sure you experienced many good things in your life, and that you can recall many things from your life that immediately cheers you up the moment you think of it! And you must have thought that luck was on your side when those things happened to you, that you were lucky than. That it was a gift from life. And when something bad happens, then you thing it’s a punishment, or it’s unfair, or luck has turn her back on you.

Think, for just a second, what if all that’s been happening to me are just gifts to my life? Good or bad things, it doesn’t matter? So, life has been giving me gifts, but why ? It’s so obvious, to teach me something, why else? I supposed to get the message from all the events that I experienced, it was all been assigned to me to help me become a better person! Do you feel this way too? Can you realize it?
It makes perfect sense. You know that experience means knowledge, knowledge of what to do in the future, how to act! You didn’t know that fire’s hot until you burned yourself. That moment you realized that, and you now know it. You have to experience a lot of things to acquire knowledge. If you now ask yourself, but why is life giving me all those bad things? Why I need bad things? What do I have to learn from them that I already didn’t know? Why? It doesn’t seem fair.
If you still ask yourself that same question, and I know you do, but please, give your suspicious mind a moment off, wonder of for a moment.

If you’ve done that, you can keep reading this text if you like. But you can also throw it away, and continue later. In that case, take some time to think about what has been written before, think it through, or maybe read it again, and then continue to the next chapter.

THE RETURN

I haven’t written anything in months. I thought I was ok, I couldn’t get any inspiration and motivation to continue writing, then suddenly I came back at the beginning. I found myself trapped again, with no possibility to escape, to get out of this condition, mental and physical condition. I’m desperate and nothing is working with me, I don’t really know what do I want from life, everything get’s harder and harder, and there’s no way out of the situation I’m in, I can’t see the path which could lead to prosperity, happiness, luck, peace, satisfaction.

There is enormous bad energy and feelings drifted up in me, and enormous sadness and sorrow, enormous feeling of minority and meaningless, with no faith in life, in the definition of life, the only true meaning of life. I can’t see it What is it? Can you tell me? Can you try to help me? Helping me, you could help yourself. Maybe you thing the same way, but you just couldn’t give yourself answers, and advices you could give me, who you don’t even know, and you could wit ha sense of objectivity think about my problems, and advice me what should I do.
I don’t see why should I give on living, for what? I’m not satisfied with myself, everything keeps bothering me, and I can get very angry in a short while, I’m very moody. I can’t be in peace anywhere, although I could sit down and watch one dot for an eternity. I have a lack of action, I’m helpless and I can’t do anything, I feel powerless, with no energy, with no life force in me, who was always present, who was always there when I was a child, and now it’s gone. I have forgotten how to live happily and joyfully. I have forgotten how to laugh, how to be happy and experience joy about myself and others, how to participate in everyday activities with no regrets, without envying, without being angry, without worrying about how the things would turn out! I want to stop worrying about my future, my life, me, what would happen to me and what would others say and comment?

How should I do that? How should I create environment for myself, where I would feel happier, how to play a role in life who could give me deepest feeling of satisfaction with myself, my accomplishments and with my life. What do I really enjoy doing? What would keep me happy forever, what would given me true meaning of happiness?

Give others what you couldn’t have yourself. Everything you wished for, everything you craved for, try to accomplish that and then give it to others. You would feel enormous feeling of freedom, when you’re giving away something what you love, you desire,d, you wanted. When you say to yourself and others, ai don’t need it, I don’t want it. It means nothing to me, I wan’t you to have it, becose I love you, and prove yourself that no material things, no things generylly, could affect your health, your wealth and your true being. That nothing couldn’t affect you on a personal level, nothing could disturb your eternal peace and tranquility. Nothing Like you

INNER PEACE

Beeing at peace with yourself can help you find what you're looking for in life. You may love everybody, you may feel the love for the whole world, but if you don't love yourself, everything is meaningless. You have to feel good in your own skin. When you trully value yourself, when you feel forthy, then you will be able to love others, to feel good, to success in your work and everything else. You will always be in your skin, you can't escape from yourself. So, there's no other way but to cope with your deepest self, with that what you trully are, with everything you have or don't have, with everything you have done in the past, or didn't do. There's no other way. What's been, was past, that's something that happened, something that took place in some different time, different place maybe, and different circumstances. You have to stop judge yourself for your actions. Think it through, and evaluate what's best for you to do. Cry over your destiny, and live your life with pitty about what has happened, or didin't happened, or let it all go, and live free. You have to let the past go, let it become past, release it, on it's endless journey through time and space. Let it go where it must go, you cannot fix anything anymore, you cannot do anything. You can't judge what's good and what's bed. You don't have the power. All you need to do is to live your life, day by day, do things that you love or don't love, fall and rise again, and take your life as a gift. Enjoy it. You can't change things the way you think you can, or you think others can. No one can, everything is happening with a reason, that you, now, this second, just can't understand with your mind. You're LIMITED, in some way. We all are. So, if we cannot change things, what can we do? Does it make any sence to cry over our destinies, to be sad about something, to feel anger? No, we have to accept everything that's been happening to us, we have to live it through, learn from it, remember the lesson, and let it go. That is what we need to do. Learn how to do that, and you'll become free. Everything will be easier for you, everything will seem better, lighter. There will be no depressed states, no saddness. Live your life, don't try to live somebody elses life, but your own. It was a gift to you, and you want to turn it down. It's impolite to reject gifts, isn't it ? :) And life is surely a gift, what else can it be? We got it, that precious gift, and nevertheless we can't appritiate it. We desperately want to experience the other side, but the moment we do, we could live no more, we could go back no more, and we couldn’t live the way we do now, any more. People are all alike. We can't know that something is good and precious, until we experience other, until we experience death we shell not appritiate life. But the moment we experience it, it will be too late :).

Learn from the mestakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself, I read somewhere. You won't live long enough to do what you want to do in life eather. So enjoy. Experience satisfaction in life.