1-2-3 Years...
Chapter Five
Alex had had three significant relationships in her past, prior to Olivia. First was her high school boyfriend, with whom she had intentionally lost touch with after graduation. Second was with her first girlfriend. Alex had met her during her senior year in law school. In their common passion for law they had found passion with each other. After law school they had moved in together, and passed the bar together. But their career took separate paths and so did their lives. Couple of years after that, Alex had once again met and lived with another woman. Even though she had felt a genuine connection with her at that time, the pressures of her early years in the DA�s office had ultimately ended what could have been a longer if not a deeper affair. Yet, none of the three people from her past compared to what she had with Olivia. With Olivia she felt love that pared above everything else, even everything else in her life.
That didn�t mean that Alex had expected Olivia�s past to be as reserved as hers. In actuality, both Gina and Chris had warned Alex about Olivia�s past. They had both gone to great length painting a very significant role of Jena in Olivia�s life, to such an extent that Alex had spent the better part of three months stay with Chris worried that Olivia was still with Jena. Even when the bullet had missed her second time around and Gina had told her that she could come back to her life; a part of Alex didn�t want to return in fear that Olivia�s heart was unattainable. But that fear had dissipated the moment Olivia had walked up to her and kissed her. At that moment she knew that Jena was nowhere in Olivia�s heart and it was hers to enter. And she did.
She spent the four months settling in Olivia�s heart and her home comfortably making them both hers as well. In those four months she even forgot the name Jena. That was of course until Saturday night. Saturday night when a mare mention of Jena had brought about a side in Olivia she had never seen before. That night had harshly reminded Alex that though Olivia�s heart belonged to her, it no doubt was once Jena�s in its entirety. Alex was a practical woman. She was not going to let a ghost of the past threaten their present. That is why she planned the perfect Sunday afternoon. When that too was ruined by Jena�s memorabilia, Alex had for the first time realized that, Olivia�s heart was once broken. And her broken heart still bore scars that hurt and pained her. Alex generously welcomed that too. Her love for Olivia embraced all her scars and promised to care for them if not heal them.
Nonetheless, when she had made that promise to herself Alex had not expected Eve. Yet, when she learnt Eve was Jena�s daughter, Alex decided to stand by Olivia. She chose to draw her own conclusions regarding the young girl, rather than put Olivia through a painful recollection. That decision was the only reason why, the otherwise very inquisitive former ADA, allowed her lover the relief of silence as they called it a night, on Monday.
The cloak of silence was still intact in their bedroom on Tuesday morning when Alex woke up. As Olivia�s side of the bed was empty. Even though Alex stared at the empty side for a long time, she was not alarmed by its vacancy. Another truth that Alex had painfully accepted ever since Eve entered their home was that Olivia did not want physical intimacy with her with Eve in the house. Not even slight touch at her back, or leaning whenever possible, the kind lovers tend to do when they seek the contact even in the smallest form to remind each other of their intimate connection. No, Olivia had avoided it all. So, it was not a surprise to Alex that Olivia had gotten up early just to avoid another uncomfortable morning without a kiss or even a hug. What did surprise Alex was that she hadn�t even felt Olivia wake up. But since they had slept on the two sides of the bed as far away as the queen size bed allowed them to, she assumed the distance between them had somehow prevented her from sensing Olivia�s departure.
So, Alex did not think much of it as she got up and went about her daily routine. At the end of which she stood in front of the coffee maker setting the coffee to brew. It was then that she noticed the stillness. The calm of the inanimate objects all around her only meant one thing. That Alex was alone. Unhurriedly she scanned the lavish apartment to confirm her suspicion. Olivia was not there. Alex wondered if she had been so preoccupied with her fear of confronting Olivia that she had created enough distance in their hearts to allow Olivia to slip away without even knowing it.
There were many things Olivia could have done or should have done but she didn�t. If one were to look from the beginning, Olivia should have told about Jena to Alex long before they even moved in together. Not just as a customary but because of the pain and hurt that Jena was still capable of causing in her life. It would have been only fair that Alex knew the scars in her heart that she was offering. But with the rapidity of everything, there never was a good time to do so. That was of course till Eve had showed up. At that moment Olivia owed a detailed explanation to Alex. Yet, Olivia decided to dodge it. Her want to avoid the topic had been so great that she could not even give her self the luxury of Alex�s closeness, scared that her guards would come down and her secrets would be spilled. Secrets, that Jena had clearly warned her not to disclose to Eve. Secrets because of which, she woke up before dawn and slipped out of their home. And because of which, she was now waiting for the permission to go in.
�The answer is yes.� Ray confirmed after the hospital had allowed Olivia to enter his room. And after Olivia mentioned her brief conversation with Jena. �Don�t forget Liv, you were the one who threw her out.�
�So, let me guess. She still hates me.� Olivia smirked but there was no joy in her stretched lips.
�Yes.� Ray confirmed for the second time.
�What did you expect me to do Ray? Didn�t I indulge her enough? With everything that happened and was happening, you know �. You of all the people know that I did my best in every aspect.� Olivia tried to defend her actions of years past.
�Why does it matter now Liv? When I saw� yesterday � what was her name�? I thought you have moved on.� Ray said focusing on present than past.
�Alex, her name is Alex. But this is not about her.�
�If you are still letting Jena get to you, I think it does become about her too.�
Olivia remained silent. There was nothing much she could say to that.
�Why are you letting Jen get to you again? You both have found someone and you both are happy. Somehow I feel like this is my redemption, for my part in what happened. Now that you both have found happiness, it is complete. Don�t fuck it up.� Ray warned with concern.
�It is true that I waited for her. I hoped and prayed that she would come back. Not for days or months but for years I did that in part because I never stopped loving her and in part because I wronged her. At first I wanted to explain, but I knew that she knew everything. She knew why, yet she didn�t forgive me. She even wrote to me saying that she would never forgive me.� Olivia confessed. �God! You know how I felt when I heard her voice after almost seven years. I felt like my heart had forgotten everything and forgiven everything. Nothing that was said or done or ignored ever mattered. Even all these years didn�t matter. All that mattered was her. Then her words rang in my ears. �Don�t tell Eve� It broke my heart to million pieces once again. And all I could feel was anger. The anger, the frustrations, and the suffocation� everything� back inside of me. In my heart, darkening everything. And I was so close to loosing it again. But Alex was right there. Circumstances once took Alex from me; I wasn�t going to let my stupidity chase her away the second time around. Alex was the only reason why I could keep myself from screaming on that receiver. So, I hung up. But the thing that really is getting to me is that she can still make me this angry. And the fact that she thinks that I would actually tell Eve, a child anything.�
�What do you expect? The woman has a perfect life right now. Her daughter and girlfriend get along great. For the first time in her life, she actually cut off all her risky business ventures. You don�t even know the stress she went through when she was getting rid of them. She even got physically sick and had to be hospitalized for over a week. And now that everything is smooth, the last thing she wants in her life is you. So, of course she is going to be scared that you might tell Eve the truth. If hearing her voice is making you this angry, just think about how she must be feeling right now. I am sure she is pissed beyond her wits thinking that the one person she thought she could take away from you is actually living with you right now. That kind a fucks up her staying scorned for life plan.�
�But she can�t possibly still hate me� can she?� Olivia asked once again the question that she had come to ask.
�Does it matter? You have separate lives now.� Ray�s response had not changed.
�Separate lives.� Olivia repeated like it was an improbable fact. �And she is happy.� Another improbability of their past.
Olivia got up and pondered over the facts that she had just repeated to herself.
�If she is happy today, if she is completely happy today with a perfect life, like you say. I allowed her that. Don�t you think she should allow me the same? After these many years, I have earned forgiveness. I deserve a closure. Don�t you think that it is time I have happiness without the burden of guilt in my heart?� Olivia asked as though the pale man still buried in clinical tubes had answers for her.
�Listen to me Liv. And I am saying this because I love you and I know Jen more than anyone. She will not help you heal. Instead if given a chance, she will hurt you more. You said you lost Alex and then you got her back. May be that is not just a co incidence. May be Alex is a gift to you. A gift you should be grateful for instead of risking. Risking her by letting Jen�s games get to you.� Ray advised. �I am not saying that not having to have your say. Or living with the fact that she hates you, doesn�t hurt. It must hurt. But you have to find your own closure or your own healing. Do me your self and Alex a favor. Get out while you still can.�
Olivia nodded in admission. She understood that Ray was making more sense that both her heart and head could at that second.
�So this is what you are going to do. Go to the precinct. Close my case. Nail that bastard Davis. Make sure there is nothing more required so that you have to cross path with Jen again. And forget about Jen permanently.� Ray outlined like he was giving Olivia instruction. �Jen told me she should be back this afternoon. Drop Eve here or tell Alex to drop her here, so that Jen will directly pick her up from me. You two have to never see each other.�
Olivia only nodded once again in acknowledgement.
�What is this?� Elliot asked seeing the folder fall on his desk.
�Whalen-Davis case closed.� Olivia answered. �Just proof read it and sign it. I finished all the reports.�
Olivia had followed Ray�s instructions to the�t�. She had called Alex and told her to drop Eve on her way to work, then she had come to the precinct to labor on the reports so that everything were done before it was even noon.
�This fast, I mean I know we got a solid statement from your friend Ray but don�t you want to close up all the loose ends before you want to close it.� Elliot wasn�t questioning his partner; he was just questioning the haste.
�There are no loose ends to close. It is an open and shut case. You knew that. Ray sees Davis, looses his cool, attacks. Davis pulls out a gun. They struggle. Both are shot.� Olivia outlined.
�Except that your friend lied.� Detective John Munch who had been doing the research part of the case said from behind walking towards the duo. �Olivia, do you want to get off this case? I mean if you are in such a hurry to close the case without even validating his statement.�
�No, I don�t want to get off this case. What did Ray lie about?�
�He said in his statement that he never owned a gun. My records show that even though our piece is not registered to him, he has a 9mm on his name. He bought that in 1994 from ��
�I know that gun.� Olivia cut Munch before he could complete his sentence. �He gave that as a gift to Jena. It must have slipped his mind that it was still registered in his name.�
�Must be a very great marriage if you are gifting your wife a gun.� Munch speculated skeptically.
�They are not married. Did you missed that in your research?� Olivia snapped taking offense.
�Boyfriend girlfriend� married� living together. It�s all the same. They have a kid together right.� Munch said correcting himself. �Still I wouldn�t give my woman a gun.�
�Jen and Ray both love going to the shooting range. They are both expert shooters. So, that was a gift to Jen because he lost couple of bets with her in the shooting range.� Olivia explained.
�Then you are right, Ray�s statement does seem more credible that Davis�.� Munch gracefully accepted his fault. �I also got a chance to talk to the couple of detectives in the 24th precinct. There doesn�t seem to be any connection between Davis� cases and Whalen. So, we can successfully rule out that he knew about Davis and he walked into the classroom with a gun.�
�Okay, let me just sign it, then.� Elliot too was convinced enough to agree with his partner that the case could be closed.
Munch handed Elliot his file and was only about to leave when Olivia stopped him. Something that he said had triggered her mind.
�You talked to the detectives who handled both his cases?� Olivia asked.
�Not all of them. I talked to the two who handled his 1998 charges.�
�When were his first charges?�
�1993.�
�Who handled that case?�
�Two rookie detectives. One has moved to NJ and the other quit.� Munch took his file back and opened it to be able to give more detail to his answer. �Here.� He said finding the page with the names. �Anderson and Neil.�
�Jacqueline Neil.� Olivia hand quickly stopped Elliot�s pen, which was in the middle of signing his name. �Ray knew about Davis.�
****
�Liv, look I care about the two of you, if not I wouldn�t be saying this to you.�
Ray had dragged Olivia out for lunch in the middle of her shift and was now giving her details about Jena�s business dealings. Something that Jena herself never did. She liked to keep her personal and business life separate, which was fine with Olivia. Except whenever Ray needed an extra leverage on his side he wanted to explain what was happening to Olivia. Most of the time Olivia just ignored Ray and rarely took sides when the two quarreled but this time Ray seemed too worried for Olivia to brush him aside.
�I am telling you this deal falls through and Jena is destroyed. All I want is someone to get through to her. I am not being able to do so but you can.�
�She hates it when I talk about her business and I can understand why. I am not really involved in it to have a say on it.�
�But you cannot always not be a part of it. You are her partner in life. Not just a partner in one part of her life. Is that how it is?�
Olivia remained silent. She knew that Ray was right. If she was Jena�s life partner she had to be involved in every aspects of her life.
�Listen, it is very simple. This is what you do. Slip in the bid for Mountain Lakes Property by casually asking how it is going or something. Then insist that she should not let go of �.�
Ray continued to instruct while Olivia listened intently. That night Olivia went home and did exactly what Ray had told her. That night Jena and she had their first fight.
*********
Olivia�s head throbbed with anger as she remembered how Ray always managed to talk her into doing things against her better judgment.
�Let�s call Casey we need to get a warrant on Ray.� Olivia said.
�Ray knows Detective Neil?� John asked.
�Yes, Jaq is Jena�s friend. She is always been very involved with them so I am sure that she must have recognized Davis and told Ray about it. And if you are going to ask me, does Ray have the resources to pick up a piece from the street? Yes, he does.�
�You sure Liv. You know you are suspecting your friend for not just an illegal piece but also that he planned to catch Davis in action so that he could kill him. It is an attempted manslaughter or even attempted homicide.� Elliot put words to Olivia�s accusations.
****
�That is not manslaughter, it is homicide. And homicide can give you death penalty.� Jaq said educating Ray.
�What is a homicide?� Olivia asked catching only the last part of their conversation.
�Ray here is planning to kill the shit who punched Jena last week. And I was telling him that if they catch him, he�ll get homicide.� Jaq explained pouring more cheerios in her bowl of milk.
Even though both Jaq and Ray had their own places in the city, they only needed a smallest of the reason to turn up in their home. Olivia didn�t mind them though. They both had grown into her life and it felt like family as she sat down with her own bowl of milk.
�You are actually not scheming to kill the guy in front of two police officers are you?� Olivia asked.
�No, I was going to plan an accident or self defense scenario. You know get the guy to fight me. Let him get few hits. Then beat the hell out of him or get a knife and kill him. They won�t be able to nail me right Liv?� Ray joked.
�You actually expect my straight arrow girlfriend to give you an approval for your murder scheme.� Jena said limping into the dining room.
�You are right I don�t approve it.� Olivia got up and pulled out the chair for Jena since she hadn�t fully recovered from the fight she had got into about a week ago.
�Even though, that asshole made my face unlovable?� Jena asked pouting and looking up at Olivia.
�You are never unlovable.� Olivia said softly cupping Jena�s hurt face and planting a kiss on her swollen lips.
�What about you Jen� would you approve of me killing that guy?� Ray asked.
�Sure as long as I am no where around. And they can never ever connect me to it. You can go ahead and do it.�
*****
Olivia once again messaged her head as she remembered their casual joke over breakfast, almost an eternity ago.
�I was so damn stupid; I actually let him talk me into closing the case. He even said don�t cross paths with Jen. And I actually believed it was for my own good. But the reason why he didn�t want me to talk to Jen was because then I would know that they knew about Davis.� Olivia blabbered as she put on her jacket and waited for her partner to do the same.
Even though she was ready, her partner Elliot was still seated and staring at her in amusement.
�Today Elliot.� She said not appreciating the grin on his face.
�What�s the hurry Liv? The guy is in the hospital, I don�t think he will be flying out of the country.� Elliot enjoyed adding to Olivia�s annoyance.
It wasn�t everyday that he got to see Olivia worked up.
�Hi!� Alex said adjusting her glasses. �Mr. Whalen in room 209 has been moved, can you tell me his new room number?� She asked the nurse in duty at the reception.
Just after she had finished her coffee Olivia had called her, requesting that she leave Eve in the hospital before she went to work. Alex at first had not liked the idea but when Olivia had told her that she was in the process of closing the case and that Jena might be there to pick her up, she had agreed.
It was also then that Olivia�s behavior had made sense to Alex. Olivia was avoiding any chances of facing Jena. If there was a probability that Jena was going to be in the hospital, Olivia was not going to be the one to see her. That was fine with Alex. The more Olivia didn�t want to do anything thing with her ex, the more Alex didn�t mind babysitting Eve. But that didn�t mean that she didn�t have to go to work. Gina had already called her three times. And the time was ticking away as she waited for the nurse to give her the room number.
�Are you family?� The nurse asked before answering.
�No, but I have his daughter here. I was supposed to leave her with him, so that her mother could pick her up.�
�I am afraid you cannot do that. Mr. Whalen had some internal bleeding and he was rushed to the operation theater. He is still there. If you want you can wait for him in the waiting area.�
�Is it serious?� Alex asked shocked that the man who seemed all right only yesterday was in the operation theater.
�We don�t know yet.�
�Evie.� She heard a woman�s voice at the same time she felt Eve�s hand pull out of hers.
Alex turned to see Eve run towards a woman with a short but neat hair that made her look cute and sexy at the same time. She knew who it was.
�You must be Jena.� Alex said extending her hand once the mother and daughter reunion embrace had ended.
�Yes.� Jena said taking Alex�s hand.
�I am Alex. I brought Eve here for Olivia.� She could have added that she was Olivia�s girlfriend, but the way Jena quickly withdrew her hand told her that she did not need to say it out loud. Jena knew who she was too.
�Mom where is B?� Eve asked before awkwardness set between the two women.
�She went directly home honey. We didn�t know Daddy was serious.� Jena said squatting so that Eve and she were in the same level.
�Mom you know what, I didn�t cry. I didn�t even cry in Olivia�s house. Ask Alex� Right Alex, tell mom that I was a good girl.�
�She doesn�t have to tell me baby. I know my baby is good.� Jena gave Eve a kiss in the cheek as she lifted her up and got up at the same time.
�Even when Mr. Mathew took out the gun and daddy got hurt I didn�t cry. But when I saw daddy in that room, I cried. I thought he was sick just like you were, so I cried.� Eve confessed as though she had done something wrong.
�That is all right honey.� Jena said adjusting her grip on her daughter.
�Let me just call Olivia and let her know that you are here.� Alex said thinking that it was only appropriate that she should inform Olivia since legally Eve was in her care.
�I don�t need her permission to take my daughter.� Jena snapped.
Alex was about to retort when she saw the detective duo walking towards them. Elliot and Olivia were there.
�And I thought I could avoid this.� Jena said aloud without caring that both Eve and Alex could hear her.