1-2-3 Years...
Chapter Three
�I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.� Chris repeated over and over. �G didn�t even let me go to sleep last night. She screamed at me, and she has never screamed at me. Wait a minute, G always screams at me� but that is a different story all together, what I was saying is that�� She stopped. She had no idea what she was saying. �What was I saying?�
�You were apologizing and I was still deciding.� Alex answered fighting hard not to smile.
�Come on now, even G forgave me.�
�So? It wasn�t G�s girlfriend who walked out of the dinner.� Alex pointed out why she needed to hear more apologies.
�Yeah but she came back, and you said everything was fine.� Chris had already spent the better part of the Sunday afternoon lunch apologizing, and she wanted to get past that.
�Everything is fine, as it always was but what I set out to accomplish did not happen.�
�Well, I told G, it was a bad idea. And I know I know, I was the one who started with her ex thing, and I shouldn�t have. But hell she seemed so unaffected by everything else. I just wanted find something that would hurt her.� Chris confessed her thoughts of the night before.
�Attacking ones ex is never a good thing. No matter who they are and how long ago they were.� Alex knew better and she thought she would spread her knowledge. �Very bad move and I had to pay for it. I was up till 2am waiting for her to come back.� Alex had to complain to someone.
�2am? Where did she go?�
�She went driving.� Alex answered as she allowed the waitress to put their orders on their table.
�Driving, I never figured Olivia to like driving.� Chris said more interested in their food than their conversation.
�Yeah she has this 1990 or 1989, Nissan Maxima that she keeps in tip-top condition. She never uses it to drive around the city though. Just when things get too much, she goes driving in it. That�s how she unwinds.� Alex explained.
�Nissan Maxima huh?� Chris repeated remembering a particular Nissan Maxima that Olivia took rides from during their Academy years. If last night hadn�t happened she would have voiced her connection but now, she had to be careful. She did not want to loose Alex as a friend by prying too much into Olivia�s past.
�So, everything is okay?� Chris asked instead. She needed the reconfirmation specially after realizing that if Olivia�s needed Jena�s car whenever things went out of hand, she wondered how much of Jena was Olivia still hanging on to.
�Yes, everything is okay.� Alex replied with confidence. But the look in Chris� eyes needed proof. �Remember the ring on her chain. It belonged to her mother.� Alex said out of the blue. That was Alex�s proof. �Her mother is the source of her strength.� Not some ex-girlfriend that Alex had feared. She would have never been able to compete with that.
�Liv,
Along with the paper work for the building and the car, I am also sending back your mother�s ring. I just don�t feel comfortable keeping it.
I spent months wondering if you felt sorry for what happened. You don�t need to tell me. I know the answer. In my heart I know you were sorry and you might still be sorry about it. But I don�t have it in me to forgive you. I couldn�t do it then. I can�t do it now, and I won�t do it ever. I can�t forgive you. That is why I thought it was best to end us this way.
I know this is the cruelest way. But I also know you will be fine. You are the strongest person I have ever known and I know you have the strength in you to survive anything, including this.
Goodbye,
Jena�
Olivia re read the last piece of communication she had received for Jena as she played with the ring on her chain. It was Jena she sought whenever she clung on to it. Jena who always reminded her that the strength she needed was within her.
�Liv�� Elliot called from behind. �You ready?� He asked.
Olivia quickly shoved the letter back inside the black hole of her locker and turned around. �Ready as I can ever be.� She said slamming the locker shut.
�You okay?� Elliot asked sensing a little disorientation in his partner.
�Long night that�s all.� Olivia offered an insight to her personal life. �Don�t ask.� Then she blocked any further query.
�Here is the report that Huang prepared after talking to the kids.� Elliot handed Olivia a file while the two started to walk towards their squad room.
�Seems like, our teacher Mr. Davis wasn�t really doing anything to the kids. The kids were playing in front of him, and he was just watching them. Then the father Mr. Whalen walks in and starts to scream at him. Davis panics but refuses to stand up. Then Whalen pushes the table across the room pinning Davis to the wall with the table. Davis fights back. Pushes back the table and stands up. And guess why Whalen lost his cool?�
�Davis had his pants down and was jacking off while he watched the children.� Olivia answered piecing together the facts. It wasn�t hard to come up with the most outrageous explanation in her job because usually they were the ones that were right.
�Yep. The kids couldn�t see anything because of the table cloth in the front of the table.�
�But Whalen must have seen it from the door. Wasn�t the side of the table facing the door?� Olivia asked trying to recall the crime scene of the day before.
�Yes. He had come back to drop his daughter�s lunch box and he sees Davis getting himself off watching his daughter, and others. He gets pissed. Storms into the room, and attacks Davis. In the struggle they shoot each other.� Elliot completed the case theory. �And here is a twist you might like. Davis is alive.�
�What?� The exclamation in Olivia�s voice was expected. �Didn�t we see him dead at the crime scene?�
�Yes, they made a mistake. Apparently he was still alive. The medication he was taking, along with massive blood loss from the gunshot, slowed down his vital stats because of which the paramedics in the scene pronounced him dead.�
�What medication was he taking?�
�Didn�t get the name for it but it was for emotional inhibition, like the kinds they give to mental patient.� Elliot once again read from the file.
�Look at this, he was being treated by Dr. Kramer. Doesn�t he specialize in post therapy for convicted child molesters? Was Davis ever arrested?�
�Nope.� Munch said walking towards the duo. He handed them both his research file. �He was twice acquitted for the charges of child molestation but never convicted. The medicine he took is experimental but legal. It is suppose to inhibit your desires. Apparently it didn�t work if he was caught with his pants down. Everything else is in the file. Now I got to go home. It�s Sunday afternoon. Don�t call me.� He said waving goodbye.
�Okay now the question is who had the gun and who fired the first shot?� Olivia asked.
�The trace for the gun came out empty. The gun is un registered.� Elliot read from the file.
�A street piece. But how about the kids, they must have seen what happened.�
�The kids were too distraught and scared to realize who did what.� Dr. Huang replied joining in on the discussion. �And the four kids are between four and five so it is impossible to find out what they saw.�
�What about the fifth kid?� Olivia asked remembering that there were five kids in that class.
�Fifth kid, Whalen�s daughter. She is eight years old and most probably she has seen it all and know everything. Except she is not talking.� Dr. Huang replied.
�That is understandable she sees her father being shot, she is in shock. I will be surprised if she talks at all for little while. It�ll take time for her to recover.� Elliot assessed.
�You are right, but her case is a little different. She has completely blocked off the incident. She is playing and laughing with the social worker like nothing happened. When I tried to talk to her, she completely ignores that particular subject and goes on to do or say other thing.�
�Is that a psychological condition?� Elliot asked.
�No, some people just have a personality like that. Don�t they?� Olivia corrected.
�That is true.� Dr. Huang confirmed. �It is possible that, that is how her personality is and she is just ignoring the bad part for now. If that is so then she�ll talk but only with the one person whom she trusts the most.�
�Where is her mother?� Elliot asked for the one obvious person whom a child might trust.
�The social services are contacting her. I have told the social services to let her know that she has to bring her here tomorrow.�
�That is good. Now about Whalen and Davis how are they doing?� Olivia asked moving forward in their case.
�They are both in critical care, want to go and try and piss the doctors by trying to talk to them?� Elliot asked with a mischievous smile.
�Oh! Why not? I am already at work on a Sunday; I might as well piss the doctors.� Olivia got up with no enthusiasm.
�We had to come to work. If one of them dies before Monday, who would get the statements.� Elliot had more reasons than Olivia to not work the weekend, but when he had to, he always consoled himself and his partner with the urgency of the situation.
�Fine you drive.� Olivia said walking down the stairs.
�Only if you take Davis.�
�Why do I always get the creeps?�
�Because I always drive.�
Once lunch with Chris was over, Alex�s afternoon was empty. She had absolutely nothing to do. After trying to kill time every way she knew, and not being in the mood to read she wandered around Olivia�s apartment searching for something to do.
They both kept the place fairly clean so there was not much she could do in that department. Olivia had done the laundry on Thursday when she was at work and Olivia was free, nothing to do there either. Then she ended up in kitchen, which only had couple of cups and coffee maker to rinse out from that morning. While doing so, she toyed with the idea of cooking, but she couldn�t cook to save her life so it was no use punishing Olivia to such torture. And they still had left over from the last night�s take out. After all with the mouthful of Olivia and Chris� bitterness everyone had lost their appetite.
The thought of last night once again made Alex feel sad. She wished there was something she could do to make it up to her girlfriend about the bad call she had made.
�Candles.� Alex said out loud.
Yes, candles were her brilliant idea. She wanted to cover the house with candles and greet Olivia with the most romantic atmosphere she had ever seen. So, she started to look for candles, before she ran out to buy them. She first searched the bedroom, but there were none. There were few candles in the living room, but they were all decorative pieces. Then she went to the study and then the guest room. Finding her search fruitless she headed towards the spare room in the far right corner. To her surprise that room was locked. She didn�t make much of it as she targeted the closets next. It was in the bottom of the storage closet that she hit the jackpot. Not only did it have candles and scents, it was filled with heart red sheets of different shape and texture. She never tagged Olivia to be the romantic kind but what was in front of her would do perfect for her little romantic plans.
Davis who was at first pronounced dead had surprisingly recovered. Though he was still in critical care the doctors allowed Olivia to talk to him. And as expected Davis blamed everything on Whalen. But a lot of details were too in consistent for Olivia to believe the son of a bitch.
But while she waited for her elevator to reach her floor, Davis was the last thing Olivia wanted to think about. She wanted to think about her Alex. She wanted to think about lover who had promised her a surprise when she got home. She hopped through the lobby getting excited about what the surprise was going to be.
Her keys were already out before she even reached the door. With impatience she jammed it in and opened the door. Then she froze. It was like her mind had flashed back to her past and she was walking into Jena�s apartment and not hers. At first she didn�t even want to enter, but slowly she dared in. And as she feared it was exactly what she thought. Everything was red. Red the color she dreaded. Red, the color that was Jena�s escape for everything.
May be because of everything that had happened in the last 24 hours combined with the redness everywhere, Olivia�s head completely lost grip with reality. It actually thought that Jena was there. Olivia hurried inside hoping to see Jena. Her heart bounced frantically thinking that Jena was back, back in their home. Her lips were only a fraction of a moment away from calling out Jena�s name when she felt a movement in their bedroom. She ran in, just to find Alex in a see-through red gown that left nothing to imagination.
�Alex!�
�Expecting someone else?� Alex asked. The disappointment in Olivia�s voice was hard to miss.
�No�� Olivia once again looked around to double check if her eyes were not playing games with her. Definitely everything was red. �No� not at all. Just not expecting this.�
�That was the surprise I promised you.� Alex said getting out of the bed and allowing a complete view of her self to her lover.
�That�s good, but you didn�t have to do this.� Olivia said switching on the main light to maximum, killing the entire mood of the room. Then she hurriedly went up to the candles and started blowing all of them out along with grabbing the sheets from the floor and bundling them.
�Is something wrong?� Alex asked shocked that Olivia was destroying everything that she had worked hours for.
�No� nothing is wrong. I just don�t like the whole fake scenes.�
�Fake�what is fake about this? I just wanted it to be romantic.� Alex said putting on something that wasn�t so revealing.
�We don�t need this.� Olivia said throwing the bundle of red sheets across the room. �We are not going to be this. Hiding behind the fa�ade of romance while everything crumbles below our feet. We are not going to make up after an argument with champagnes and wines while our frustrations get buried inside of us.� Olivia picked up the champagne and its bucket and headed towards the kitchen.
She chucked the ice out and rinsed the bucket. She put the champagne back in the refrigerator. She walked hastily trying to put the rooms back to normal while Alex watched in shock and in silence.
�What is wrong?� Olivia asked once she had got rid of every thing that Alex had changed.
�What is wrong� may be I should be asking you that.� Alex remarked still dumbfounded by otherwise normal detective.
�I walk into our home and it is turned into a freaking cut out from a magazine. There has to be something wrong. So, tell me what is wrong. Talk to me.� Olivia demanded.
�What are you talking about? There is nothing wrong. We had a really horrible night because of me last night so all I wanted to do was make it up to you.� Alex stated. �If I got something to say to you, I�ll say to you.�
And Alex was right. Alex wasn�t Jena. There was no reason why Alex would do what Jena did. But the last thing Olivia wanted was her history to repeat again. She was not going to loose Alex the way she had lost Jena.
�Talk to me Olivia.� Alex needed answers but she had no questions.
�I don�t want romance. If we got a problem, I want to be able to talk about it. Not shove it aside like this. With these.� Olivia said blowing out the last of the candle.
�Whatever problem we had we talked about it and now I just wanted to have some r & r with you.� Alex found herself explaining her intentions once again.
�I know and I am sorry. It is just that �� Olivia hesitated knowing that once again what she said would be another important building stone in their relationship. �I don�t want my history to repeat.� This time she opted to tell the truth. She needed to say the truth.
�These belonged to her. It weren�t supposed to be found.� Alex made a silent assessment realizing what she had done wrong. �I was just looking for some candles and I thought� God I am sorry.�
�Its okay. You didn�t know.� Olivia accepted. �Alex, I loved Jena. She was my first real girlfriend or relationship I had. I never wanted anything more than to be with her for the rest of my life. But it didn�t work out that way. She and I both made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that still haunt me and hurt me. I just don�t want to repeat them with you. I do not want to loose you.�
�Hey�� Alex was now right in front of Olivia when she silenced her with her finger on her lips. �You are not going to loose me. You were the only reason I wanted to stay alive. I love you beyond life itself. I came back only for you, remember.� Alex reminded before she chased Olivia�s fears with her kiss, then her touch. Then she took Olivia�s hand and guided her to their bedroom where she could chase any doubt and any of her fears away with her love.
�You are kidding me right.� Olivia said unable to believe that some one was actually at their door. �What time is it?� She asked refusing to even open the eyes.
�6 o�clock.� Alex replied putting on her glasses and looking at her watch. �I can�t believe it�s been only two hours since you came home. I could have sworn it was longer.�
�That�s because we dozed off.� Olivia reasoned with her face still buried on the pillow. �You didn�t call another of your so called friends for dinner did you?�
�No. Chris left this afternoon and Gina would never come without calling first.� Alex explained still feeling apologetic about the last night�s fiasco. �I�ll get it.� She also volunteered hearing the doorbell once again. �It won�t be some one from work can it?�
Alex asked in the middle of putting on her gown. Regardless of how far their relationship had reached they were not out, and they had to be cautious about that.
�No, they always call.� Olivia answered not worried about Alex answering her door.
Alex walked up to the door, arranging her hair so that it didn�t look like she had just come from bed. She didn�t even look through the peep hole and just opened it.
�Ms. Benson?� A small black woman asked.
�No, a friend of hers.� Alex answered. �And you are?�
�My name is Monique White from the Social Services Office of Manhattan. I was given this address for Ms. Olivia Benson.� She answered in an official tone.
�This is her place come on in. I�ll get her.� Alex said opening the door fully and welcoming the woman.
�Eve� honey come on inside.� Ms. White called out before she entered.
Alex looked back and saw a pretty dark haired little girl come running behind Ms. White. She wondered what social services wanted with Olivia as she went to their bedroom.
�Honey, it�s the social services. She is looking for you.� Alex said.
�Why?� Olivia asked grumpily getting out of the bed and putting on a flannel shirt and a trouser.
�I didn�t ask.�
Olivia got out of the room taking only a little glimpse at the mirror to check her appearance. She looked grumpy but looked as good as she could look without make up and after a nap.
�Hi I am Olivia.� She said as soon as she entered their living room.
Alex had told her that the social service was there, what she had left out, was that a little girl was with her. As soon as Olivia�s eyes fell on the angel with short dark hair, dark brown eyes, she knew who she was.
�Eve�� She said out loud.
�Yes.� The lady from the social service replied, while the girl remained unaffected by Olivia�s recognition.
�What happened?� Olivia asked a little worried that if the social service was there with Eve then something terrible must have happened.
�There was an incident in the day care that she attended.� Ms. White started to explain but she needed some information first. �You are Ms. Benson right?�
�Yes, that is me.� Olivia replied wanting more details about what had happened.
By now Alex had joined them in a t-shirt and trousers too. And she was seated right beside Olivia across from the girl and Ms. White.
�Ms. Benson yesterday there was a shooting in an uptown daycare.� Ms. White started to explain once again.
�Oh! God that was Ray.� Olivia remarked. Ray Whelan was the father who had shot the teacher in the day care. Why didn�t she make the connection before?
�You have heard of the shooting then?� Ms. White asked relieved that she didn�t have to be the bearer of the bad news.
�Yes� I just didn�t think that was Ray.� Olivia confirmed.
�I was trying to contact Eve�s guardian since her father is in the hospital and��
�What about her mother?�
�She is right now unreachable. Her home and office is not answering and we cannot seem to find her other numbers.� Ms. White explained. �You were the next one on the list. Your number was unlisted so I decided to come. I was hoping if you could contact her mother so that we could hand her over to her.�
�Don�t worry Liv� I�ll never take you off her guardian list. So, if we die, make sure you are ready for her.� Ray�s warning flashed back in her mind as she stared at the young angel who was looking around almost scared of her house.
�Hey Eve.� Olivia decided to talk to her before she answered. �Don�t be scared honey, this is your home too.� Olivia said trying to make her feel comfortable.
�It�s been a really long time since I talked to her mother, but I sure can try.� Olivia offered.
�Umm� It is just that it is late and I was wondering if � since you are her guardian I could sign her over to you and then we could try and contact her mother tomorrow?� Ms. White asked.
�Of course. That is no problem.� Olivia gladly accepted.
�How about that Eve�. you can stay with me tonight.� Olivia said grinning with joy, like she had won a lottery. �With us.� She corrected herself looking briefly at Alex then back again at the timid little girl.
An hour later, Alex and Olivia were seated in the dining room with the girl who still had not said a word. Alex wondered who Eve Rollins was as she watched her girlfriend fussing over her.