| I bought a sword. Now before you all run for exits, I want you to know it�s not on me. It�s hidden, somewhere close. But anyway I won�t be using it for evil purposes just things like taking on burglars, relieving stress by destroying my mother�s lemon tree, �role-playing� while playing Dungeons and Dragons, and taking that Dell kid �off the air� (Dude, you�re getting eviscerated) I enjoy my sword immensely. I played �Cut the Orange into 2 pieces after calling it mother fucker and acting like it killed my brother� only to discover to my ironic pleasure that it was a blood orange. I threatened Antonio. I trimmed my hedges. I threatened Antonio. I stabbed a tree stump repeatedly (it goes through wood like a hot sword through buttery wood). I threatened Antonio and then beat him in Madden 2002. Now, the major geek dilemma sets in: what to name my sword. I could go the Ubergeek route and name it Narsir, after Isildur�s sword that was broken and forged anew and renamed Anduril, or the Flame of the West, and was used in the Battle at Helm�s Deep and� and� I�m sorry. Geek-overdrive. So very sorry. I will go to the West and remain� never mind. I was thinking of naming it Citrus (because my primary prey is produce naturally laden with Vitamin C) but I was informed by a reliable source that that was �stoopid.� Maybe Citricide. Or Famgoring, the Bloodletter. Whatever. The important part is that I can cut you. Back off! Back to writings |