The Joey the Kangaroo site

Joey the Kangaroo was born on November 10th, 2000 at approximately 8:00 pm during a screening of Mission: Impossible 2. Joey had a primary role of movie doing such things as driving trucks, pushing Luther out of the exploding van, and burying the gun in the sand for Ethan to grab. Joey is a true American hero (Australian too) and deserves all our respect. In order to show the appreciation he deserves send me an e-mail at [email protected] with Kangaroo in the subject line and a sentence or two telling me why you love kangaroos especially Joey. The most memorable ones will be posted.

Here's a magical gem of audacity from the director of Batman and Robin. Well actually it's from Antonio Cusumano at [email protected]. Here we go.

I like kangaroos, especailly Joey, because back when I was a young lad my parents left me to die in Antarctica with the penguines, who are not a metaphore for normal people and you will only get that if you are a select few people.  Anywho, just as i had given up all hope Joey hops over a glacier clearing it in a single bound.  He stuffed me into his\ pouch where i lived for ten years until i was ready to reenter society as a productive member of the community. i became a mass murderer killing anyone who had the last name that my parents had.  i held this occupation until i was able to get a job in Mission Impossible 2 where  i was Joey's assistant. i had jobs like helping Joey push Luther's fat  ass out of the van (that guy needs to lose some weight).  Now as you may have geussed i have been making this up.  you may ask, why would anyone take time out of his life to write an e-mail to a web site only a few people go to.  the reason is to take time out of your life. thats right while you were reading this precious seconds, mabye minutes,  have been stolen from you and transfered to me. you will never get these seconds, or minutes, back. WHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA one more thing, as you have been reading this explination i just stole one more minute. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                 see ya

Come to the light... the li-i-ght...

Myself and Joey, we've been friends for quite a while. Why I remember this one time we were stranded walking through the Scottish countryside, when we found ourselves right in the middle of the battle of Stirling. Luckily, we were gainfully armed with our own weapons and proceeded to help William Wallace's army. We stayed on with Wallace's army for awhile, until his execution after he was caught. I blame myself for  that, but Joey always tells me not to. So we left the land to seek ourfortunes. We traveled for a long time and bumped into both Hercules and Xena several times, and played key roles in someof their adventures.Soon, we made it to ancient rome in all its glory. No sooner did we enter the city than we were taken as slaves. We were bought by some guy named Proximus and were forced to fight in the gladiator tournements where we met a man named Maximus. Fighting in the games was all well  and good, but we decided to leave and did so that night. We set sail and soon ended up somewhere in the greek isles where I got married and became the king of an isle called Ithaca. Soon after I had my first son, Joey and I went to war in Troy where we conquered them after 10 years of fighting. Unfortunately, on my voyage home, I got lost for another 10 years. I finally returned home to a 20 year old son and a bunch of suitors trying to take my wife. After easily killing them all and reclaiming all that was mine, I soon got bored. So Joey and I left for France. Where we partook in the French revolution on the side of the people where we met a man named Jean Valjean who talked too much. After the revolution was won, we sailed to America, where I got married again and had several children. Unfortunately, my wife died soon after and as the people in America grew more weary of Britain's rule, the King sent troops over. My eldest son enrolled in the Continental Army and all seemed okay until the war for our independence started. In short, the Brits came to my house, burned it down and killed one of my kids. So my son and I enlisted in the army and we helped win the war for independence and I married my wife's sister. Soon after that, Joey and  I traveled out to California where I met a man who had once been Zorro. He trained Joey and I and we became Zorro to thwart a plan to buy California from Mexico. Soon afterward, we set sail again, only this time so we could help out the Australian army against the Ottomon Empire during the first World War. We helped during the battle of Gallipoli. After that battle ended, we sailed back to England, where both Joey and I fell into company with some Italian guy. We were playing poker withtwo Swiss guys, who had bet their three tickets to America on Titanic. We won the game and made it on Titanic just in time. During the voyage  I met this girl named Rose, I convinced her to not marry some guy and the boat sunk. And that'll be all for now. Tune in next week for the finishing of my history with Joey the Kangaroo. Sean

This one is from Sean Emmons and took a buttload of time to read and write. He also travels through time and has a number of illegitimate children Asshole!

Sean, Sean, Sean... you idiot. The French revolution came after the American revolution. Thanks for destroying your accountability on my site.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws