Smart-ass remarks to people who have signed my guestbook!
TO: Alexander Callagy
MY GOD! A DOPPELGANGER! MAKING HOMOPHOBIC REMARKS AT RANDOM IN ORDER TO SULLY MY GOOD NAME! What a pathetic person... wasting 10 minutes (I assume he's illiterate) in order to fill a website guestbook either trying to make me look bad or make me look Republican (oh! Zing!). 

TO: Hootchie
These again... you make me sad. You have to keep quoting one episode of South Park in an effort to be funny (I assume). Try to be original or at least quote the one with the people from Marklar... that's my favorite.

TO: Robert
What the hell are you saying? Are you trying to be cryptic because that was just annoying.

TO: Dan G.
Uh... whatever. Interesting side note (to me): Fly Away Home was originally going to be called Father Goose until study execs got wise that that sounded too perverse.

TO: Achmeinlieberneffe
Off the top of my head I would say it goes: Oh, my dear nephew, what is going on in your head? Are you (I guess crazy but I would have said bist du blau)? Do you have too much time on your hands? When will you get a (job, life maybe)? Or will you something something? By the by... is this the same German-speaking Uncle who gives us our Christmas cards in late March? Or am I verruckt?

TO: Matthew
It was a PARODY based on how stupid Jurassic Park III was. If I was trying to make it a real script I would throw in a character for Vin Diesel to play.

TO: Shaquita
You again? Jesus.

TO: Jaimee
Thank you and no

TO: Shaquita
What the hell? Blackerthanebony.com? That's just stupid. The Wood? Deliver Us from Eva? Now, I may be in the wrong demographic but those movies were stupid! I'm not black... I am a pale Irish-American but what the hell does URL have to do with it? And what is a "heffa"? Based on reading it I would say "stylish way of saying hefer" but that is just me.

TO: Jigga-Who?
You just bother me... though the reference to the classic Ren and Stimpy board game made me all nostalgic. Still... don't talk to me.

TO: FAT Little Piggy
Yeah, I got the fat jokes... enough. And no.

TO: Mary-Kate:
Goddamn... that is enough... just stop

TO: Audrey
Go back to Canada, uh... Canadian-ethnic slur... is there a Canadian ethnic slur? Northerners? Syrup-mongers? Mapleys? First picked for Hockey? I guess America Lite works for now. (By the by... I realize this was just an automated fill-in thing)

TO: SolidK
Golly... I was so distraught upon hearing that you "would rather have donkey kong analy rape me than have to look at more of this site " that I almosted pummeled myself to death with my own fists. Go back to New Zealand,... Kiwi-hustler. Small Island Dweller. Relatively close to Australia guy. Damn... why couldn't I just get someone with an easily ridiculed name.

TO: Paul
Majikwood? Geez... and you're British?!


That's all for now folks  and remember... if you sign my guestbook and you're an idiot... I will hunt you down like an animal and subject you to my will.
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