| Scene: Outside of House Man enters carrying box and knocks on door. Vance opens door. Delivery man (evil overtone): Special delivery Vance: I�ll sign! Delivery man: Idiot (tosses box at him) (Vance opens box. Finds head of other Raptor in it.) Vance: Aaa! He owes me five bucks! You bastards! Delivery man: That�ll teach to mess with vampires! Vance: Does that mean you�re a vampire? Delivery man: Yes, of course! Vance: But, the sun�s out. It�s midday! (Delivery man turns and looks at the sun) Delivery man: Ah, fuck beans (explodes) Vance: That�s how I gotta win, they keep underestimating me. (Turns and walks inside) New Scene: Police station Vince: But they killed one of our relatives! Police commissioner: Police protection doesn�t extend to extinct species. I�m sorr� wait� didn�t you rob a bank yesterday? Vance: Yes, and we killed one of your office� (muffled by Vince) Vince: Shut up, dumbass. You�re just saying that because you�re a bigot! Police Commish: No, that�s just a happy coincidence. Now get out of my office, Scale-backs. Vince: Hey! My people didn�t endure the holocaust for anti-specites like you! Police Commish: You�re right, they didn�t endure the holocaust. Now out of my office Vince: I guess there�s nothing left to do. Let�s go Vance. (Raptors leave station. Commissioner watches them leave and bends over to use the phone) Commish: They left. No, they don�t know the police are owned by the vampires like in that all too real movie, Blade. Yes, Lord Frost. You�re name�s not Frost? Why did I think it was Frost? Oh, really? That is a coincidence. Oh well. See you when I get home. (hangs up phone). Did I just dial the wrong number? (Quick cut to a clerk at some store) Clerk (Yelling behind him or her): Hey Rob! You�ll never guess the call I just got� (Cut back) Commish: Oh well (starts playing with paddle and ball) (Cut to darkened room with crispy police man. Fingers begin to twitch) Cut to Vince and Vance Vince: Bigots. Just because your species eats the faces of babies you get a bad rap. Vance: I just thought of something. Vince: (Under breath) Oh God. Go on say it Vance: We�re dealing with vampires but everything is in broad daylight. Why is that? Vince: Maybe we�re dealing with reverse-vampires Vance: Nah. If that was happening then we wouldn�t have vampire kibble n� bits out on our lawn Vince: Maybe he was allergic to all the rosemary in our house. Vance: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY COOKING? Vince: Jesus, no! Vance: Good. Ingrate (Blackened hand begins moving again) (Inside house) Vance: Man, that rosemary comment just hurt. Vince: I�m sorry. Jesus. Listen, you�re a great chef. Especially considering you don�t have opposable digits. Vance: Thanks, I guess. (Yell in room with burnt cop) (Mouthing) What the fuck? (Door bursts open and a blackened creature runs down the hall and out the door) Vance: Looks like the Tarantino method wasn�t the biggest success ever� Vince: Oh well, least we weren�t attacked by vampire ninjas. (Vance looks at him really weird) Vance: What the hell are you talking about? Vince: I� don�t� know Vance: Must be the hash bar talking Vince: Stop fucking mentioning hash bar! (gradual fade out of their bickering.) Who knows what's next? I think there may be swordfights and a vampire hunter... maybe |