| Words from an Addict |
| Six days ago i did something i never thought i could do. I quit smoking. I havent had a cigerrette since. I can say in all honesty now that they had me in a bad way and it made me actually think about the simple nature of Addiction. Even as i write this i want a cigerrette. I want to put a little white stick in my mouth and suck on it. I mean when you put it plainly it does sound extremely stupid. To the point of being idiotic. I mean who would really want to suck on a little white tube full of a smoke producing weed. I mean you could probably get close to the same effect taking a drag off of the tail pipe of my truck. Sounds like a rheotorical Question but i'll answer it anyway. I DO!!!! Such is the nature of my addiction i can sit back take a good look at the situation but i still want one. In all honesty it wasnt me who really quit. Well it was me but it wasnt done by me. It was done totally by God. I did not nor will i ever have that kind of strength and will power. Atleast not that kind it takes to break a habit of 10 years. So praise be to God to getting me out of that major mess. But its still strange sitting here thinking about what i will never do again. After 10 years i guess the physical addiction really isnt the problem, it comes down to my mind. That dark hole filled with to many questions and on regular occaions not enough faith. Its confusing on the one hand but then it becomes clear if but just for a moment. And in that clarity i see what it is Cigerrettes are and i know i did the right thing by asking God to help me quit. For in that moment of clarity i saw the fact that Cigerrettes are just another one of the Devil's Lies used to seperate man from God. Of course, that is just my opinoin i could be wrong. |