There's so much more than I imagine
So much more than I ever intend to dream.
Beyond my confounded lonliness
Over the surrounding stream
Of conscious hatred. A hatred so pure,
A hate so defenseless against my own mind
I can't bear to differ in case I might find
A safety somewhere, an instinct to care
About the world and the stars
And the heart of the world -
A world full of joy, a world full of tears,
Instructed by faith, introduced by fear.
I'm every breath closer to dying
An empty death where I'm lying
In the midst of a cold summer breeze.
I can choke on the waves of a sea
Of my thoughts, a sad bitterness
Of a spirit, distraught by the end
Of an unnecessary bite on the core of my being,
A blunt-edged knife through the pulse of my mind.
And still undecided, I trudge on through life,
Wandering, waiting, for a time when one night
I will wait so alone, and cold in the air
Of a midnight so clear, and my silent prayer
Will reach up to the heavens and send me my gift -
To forget for one second of all that's unclear.
I'll forget the deep hatred, and forget that I'm free
And just for one second, the stars will see me
And I'll know for that second that forever I'll be
In the heart of the heavens. But until then I hope
And have faith in my hoping, there's an angel in everyone
And though my wings are broken, I'll rest for a while,
Learn of those things I can change, and so oft beguile
My instinct of awe; I'll smile at the world, and though worlds apart,
My angel and I are forever in heart.