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If you believe in love, you’re
a douche bag. Love isn’t real. Seriously,
what physical proof do you have that you love someone? Sure, you can have sex
with them, and bear their child, but that just shows you’re easy. Love is a
word made for those without hope elsewhere; you may say that you see love
with your parents, or your siblings, but it’s not real, it’s just a lie. You
can easily say you love someone, but there’s no physical proof. “My parents love
each other, they’ve been together for over twenty years!” Yeah, so your life
won’t be as miserable as theirs are with being parents and husband and wife.
Your dad doesn’t really want to be with your mom; sometimes, he just wants a
fresh piece of meat. And your mom is just staying with your dad because she’s
afraid she’ll be rejected by society and other potential men, and she doesn’t
want to die alone. But oh, there’s Valentine’s
Day! Hurrah for corporate holidays! Seriously, you can get all of the candy
that’s “special” for this time of year, or that pretty rose that sets it off
as a separate day, at any time of the year. Someone just created Valentine’s
Day to cash in on this “love.” You may bring up the argument of Saint
Valentine, but did you know him? No! According to “legend,” he was a blind
guy, or something along those lines, and he gave a little piece of paper to
this girl saying, “Your Valentine.” That’s because he couldn’t take care of
himself without the aid of one of his senses! Nothing more beyond that. And
it wasn’t even on the fourteenth of February! You know what really happened
on the fourteenth? Captain Cook was stabbed to death by natives Hawaii, a
massacre took place in Chicago, and the first successful kidney transplant
was made. But we don’t call it “Captain Cook and an Assault of Stab-Wounds
Day” or “Working Kidneys Day,” but instead “Valentine’s Day” for something
completely irrelevant. But now feminazis, or extreme feminists for the
uninformed, are wanting to shorten the title “Valentine’s Day” to simply
“V-Day” not necessarily because “Valentine” is the last name of a man, but
for vagina, violence, and victory. If you don’t believe me, not only are you
ignorant, but you should look it up as well. And what’s so great about
Valentine’s Day anyway? Sure, if you have someone to share it with, it may
mean you get some (getting some means receiving at least one STD.) But what
if you don’t have someone? You fall into the hype that Valentine’s Day is a
time to share with that special someone you “love,” even though it’s just
someone you want to pork, but you don’t have that special someone. You’re
lonely, you weren’t good enough. So you’re sitting alone by yourself, and
that full bottle of aspirin looks mighty friendly. “Well, my boyfriend tells me
he loves me everyday, that’s love!” No, it’s a word and or phrase. Watch- I
love you! See how easy it is to blatantly lie? Way too simple, if you ask me.
If you don’t believe me, I’ll do it once more- I love you! Just because
someone says something doesn’t make it true. People lie all the time. Your
parents say, “We’re proud of you!” Your teachers say, “Good job!” And who
could forget the ageless line, “We’re going to find weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq.” It’s easy to lie, and saying “I love you” is one great
lie as well. And not only is it a lie, but an overused one as well! If you
search using the Google search engine, you will retrieve 4,150,000 results. Love doesn’t exist. You may
think that you feel love with your friends and family, but you’re wrong. It’s
just a sexual feeling without the arousal, and no more. That’s why people say
they love their friends, family, and significant other; but with their
significant other, they’re allowed to have that complete sexual feeling.
Unless, of course, you’re in Kentucky, then it’s perfectly fine to have
complete sexual feelings for family members. Now, I realize many of you may
find this opinion offensive- and I really don’t care, because I’m right and
you’re wrong. Love doesn’t exist- what’s so offensive about that anyway? Just
accept that you’re wrong and move on. Make new friends. Have a cookie. If you believe in love, you’re
wrong. |