Moaning Myrtle
By RJ
To the tune of "Lola" by The Kinks' Ray Davies
I met her in a cave down in Old Hogwarts
where you drink Butterbeer and it tastes just like Pumpkin Soda
S-O-D-A Soda.
She floated up to me and she cried quite a lot.
I asked her her name and in a whiny voice she said, "Myrtle"
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Well, I'm not the school's metaphysical guy,
but when she went through my chest she nearly froze my spine
Oh my Myrtle, mo-mo-mo-Moaning Myrtle.
Mo-mo-mo-Moaning Myrtle
Well, I'm not scared but I can't understand
why she looked like a girl but talked like a woman
Oh my Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Well, we drank Butterbeer and danced all night,
under death black candlelight,
She flew way up and landed on my knee,
She said, "Wizard boy, come to the bathroom with me!"
Well, I'm not much into long-dead lasses,
but when I looked in her glasses,
well I just fell through my Myrtle,
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Oh-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
I went to the hall. I ran to the door.
I slipped on the floor. She appeared 'tween my knees.
Then I looked at her, and she at me.
Well that's the way that I want it to stay.
And I always want it to be this way with my Myrtle.
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle.
Girls will be Ghosts, and Ghosts will be girls.
It's a Pixied up, Muggled up, Spooked up world,
except for Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Well I got to Hogwarts just three years before,
and I never ever with a ghostie did score,
Myrtle smiled and took me in the can,
she said, "Wizard boy, gonna make you a man!"
Well, I weren't the world's best ma-gici-an,
but I know what I am and now I'm a man,
Thanks to Myrtle.
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle.
Myrtle. Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle.
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle.
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle, Mo-mo-mo-moaning Myrtle
Mo-Mo-Mo-Moaning Myrtle.
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