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Joe Senser's Softball
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SENSER'S SOAKED BY RAIN, AT&T ASSCLOWNS;
BAR TAB ALSO SUFFERS
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Joe Senser's Softball
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SENSER'S SOAKED BY RAIN, AT&T ASSCLOWNS;
BAR TAB ALSO SUFFERS
By Dan Hinrichs
Voted Class Leader by GHS Class of '95
ROSEVILLE, MN- On a night where a canoe would've been better transportation than cleats around the bases, Senser's took a beating from the AT&T Assclowns, 18-12 and 19-9 (5 innings). "They just wanted it more than us," a downtrodden Ryan Thomas said after the game. "Still, if you would've told me that we'd be 9-5 at this point in the year, I'd have told you that you were smokin' dope or something." Thomas had a tough night at the plate, losing around 80 points on his average to bring it down to an un-Rick-like .795. "It's tough maintaining that kind of average for a whole season," a slumping Denny Hocking mentioned. "Hell, I can't maintain a .600- I can't imagine what it takes to maintain an .870."
The night started somewhat promising for Senser's, as they were involved in a tight one during the first game. "We were matching them run for run for the first four innings, and then the Rally Killer took care of us," Bill Remick said in between post-game protein shakes. "The second Jayme sat on the bench, we quit hitting. I don't know if it was us getting distracted by the press or what...maybe she cast some kind of spell since I apparently was making out with Hartley's dog by the end of the night." Remick's theory may have some substance- Senser's scored one run in the three innings that Forstrom was on the bench. "That's disputed, you guys blaming me for not hitting," Forstrom stated. "I think you guys should all take a lesson from Peter as far as hitting goes, or maybe you should just walk like Christian," a reference to Peterson's three-walk performance on the night. "Once I hit three, I knew I couldn't get to four," the Swelvax player of the week said as four women fed him grapes. "That dork from the K-K Express had four and I just couldn't let myself get to that level, even if the Rick is on that team." Tempers started to flare toward the end of the first game and throughout the second as Senser's hit everything right at an Assclown and the rain started to dishearten the team. "Then those f--kers started doing that damn circus music with us in the field," Mike Kennedy said. "I was ready to roll, but I know Ellen would've had my ass in a sling if I would've gotten a black eye a week before my wedding." (Tuchner later confirmed this as the "you bet your ass truth.") Thankfully, the game ended in five innings and Senser's and the throng of fans were able to get to the bar.
Due to the late start, the bar performance was less than spectacular, as the team fell behind last year's $2,438 pace. There were minimal wheel spins, but the main players in the Fan of the Year race squared off on the wheel. Current #1 fan Susan Hansen zonked on her spin, opening the door for Lindsay Vedder to tie her in dollars won on the wheel. "Now I've just gotta get to the bar more," Vedder said as she clutched her $5 gift certificate. Forstrom, Greg Hartley, and Renae Siewert also won $5 items on the wheel, as did Denny Hocking. Hocking's win put him in front of CP in the race for #1 player bar performer, but he didn't sound too optimistic about holding that lead. "CP's been spinning the hell outta that wheel- once he got off the schneid, he's been white hot. I wouldn't be surprised to see him win a hundy or two some night."
Next week's game is against 8-6 Brady's at 6:00 on the VFW field. Stats will be posted soon- some of the season records have already fallen, so check those out on the archive page.
Swelvax Player of the Week:
Christian Peterson. The lone offensive bright spot, Peterson's wet newspaper was galvanized by the downpour. Likely would've got his double to complete the cycle the second game had he gotten a fourth at bat. He also walked three times, breaking the single-season walks record previously held by Mike "Eagle Eye" Kennedy.
MVMP, presented by Mike Biebl:
Eastiro. Missed the game to pack for his trip to exotic Spooner, WI. Also going on this trip was Christian Peterson, and we saw how he performed with that scandalous vacation coming up. Hopefully CP was able to pack in time.
career hits on this site.
