 |
Joe Senser's Softball
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
FANUCCI BLOWS SHOT AT $200
|
Joe Senser's Softball
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
By Mike Dirksen
Infield/Legal Correspondent
ROSEVILLE, MN- The Senser�s softball team was back in the sweeping mode on Thursday by demolishing Stubby's in both games of the doubleheader. There were some new faces on the Senser�s squad this week. Legal eagle Eastiro took over shortstop for the AWOL Hinrichs and Kletzin filled in more than adequately for Trash. With the law students Eastiro and Dirk on the left side of the infield, Senser�s was well protected and well represented both in the field and at the plate. The conditions were difficult for the game as Mike Biebl commented with glee, �I have not seen the wind blow this hard since Hinrichs swung and missed in Osceola.� Game 1 saw Senser�s jump out to a quick 4-0 lead, but they allowed the opponents back into the game slowly. Ryan Thomas, with his bum hamstring, was still able to lead the offensive onslaught by almost hitting for the cycle, including a bomb to left center over the 292 ft sign. Kennedy, at first base, was able to make some spectacular defensive plays. After being congratulated by some teammates coming off the field, Kennedy was heard stating �Yeah, I know how to handle the leather.�
Game 2 began with Senser�s putting up an 8 spot before Stubby'seven came to the plate. The first inning magic was started by a strong single from Eastiro and a monster 2-run blast (wind-aided) by Remick. Only 3 players greeted Remick when he crossed the plate. Most players thought that he wasted the homerun. But it was determined that the team will only move to congratulate 3-run homers or grandslams unless the hit wins the game. Remick was disappointed in the lack of enthusiasm, but managed to smile, point at the sky and grab his crotch all in one motion. When asked about his reaction, Remick replied, �What did I just do? Oh, Kristi is going to be mad.� Senser�s endured the dreaded flip-flop inning in route to 10 running Stubby's. The game ended quickly with Eastiro feeding Pete(r) for a 6-4-3 double play.
The bar staff at Senser�s was happy to fulfill our every need but was scared off by a comment from Jeremy Kletzin. Kletzin recounted an event in his life where a stripper bit his shoulder, but Kletzin smiled when he said that he �f----- the hell out of her later.� Amazing. Beers, wings, and chicken fingers with extra bbq sauce were consumed by the masses. Also, a couple salads were ordered at the east end of the table. Dirk and Kristin both decided on the salad option. Dirk figured that since Trash was not there that he would take up the position left vacant by him. Of course a few chants of �Man P---y� were directed at Dirk for his choice of food. The wheel was nice to the table that evening too. Biebl started off with an appetizer, Renae and Dirk followed with $5 wins, and Wallstreet grabbed a (wet) t-shirt. Former Senser�s player Keith Peterson showed up at the bar and also won a t-shirt. A battle of the sexes game featuring �Rock-paper-scissors� was contested between Dirk, Kristin, and Sumi. The women won the battle and Sumi came home with another $5 win while Kristin spun winning the Island Oasis. During the course of the evening it was determined that Hinrichs should be the MVMP for skipping the softball game for a Twins game, but at the end of the night, Fanucci wins the MVMP for having his name called in the final drawing and not being there to do the final spin. Tough luck.
DON'T PRINT THAT
It was determined by a credible source that Fanucci in fact does have a �pear shaped anus.�
The sex of Bill and Kristi�s unborn child has yet to be determined, but they will be happy with anything that does not look like the mailman.
Even though MJ McMullen was not at the bar, speculation still runs rampant that he is �the perfect gay friend.�
A Biebl quote: �Maybe Denny gets it up the ass.�
There are rumors that Pete is not gay, but he mentioned while at the bar that �you have to be sensitive to be a catcher.� This reporter does not know if that is referring to the catcher position or something in the bedroom.
Kennedy left his car running and the headlights on for the bulk of the game. Reason for this strange behavior is still unknown.
Swelvax Player of the Week:
Ryan Thomas. Like Roy Hobbs and Kirk Gibson, Thomas fought off injury to crush a tape-measure blast en route to another 5-for-6 night.
MVMP, presented by Mike Biebl:
Pete Fanucci. Hocking was relieved when he found out Fanucci (or "Fannucil", as Senser's would say) committed the unforgivable sin of being absent when his name was called for the big money spin. "That takes some of the sting of missing a Senser's game to sit on the bench and talk to Gardy," Hocking was quoted from the Rally Room.
career hits on this site.
