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Joe Senser's Softball
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SIEWERT ZONKS ON BIG MONEY SPIN
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Joe Senser's Softball
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By Dan Hinrichs
Infield Correspondent
ROSEVILLE, MN- Although the air was cold out by the swamp on Thursday, Senser's bats were smokin' hot in the nightcap of the season-opening doubleheader against the Minnesota Mafia, giving new manager Pete Fanucci a 26-16 win in his first night behind the helm. "I knew these guys could hit like this, and I knew that we weren't going to lose to those clowns twice," Fanucci said over a cold Miller Lite at the post-game bar party. "And I'm not gonna lie to ya, putting Hinrichs and Thomas together at the top of the lineup was a stroke of genius." Fanucci's stroke of genius resulted in a combined 18-for-20 with 16 runs scored out of that dynamic duo. "Hock and I have it all figured out," Thomas said in between wings. "He gets a base hit, then I hit the one home run we're allowed. That way I'll be guaranteed to win the home run title."
Hinrichs and Thomas used that strategy in the second inning of the first game; however, Senser's was unable to parlay that dinger into a win as they dropped it to the Mafia 18-14. "You could just kind of tell that game wasn't ours to win," left fielder Christian Peterson said. "I mean, Kennedy grounding into a double play in the first inning and almost another one in the third, and Brunsie getting tripped up by that tuft of grass...yeah, it just wasn't our game." Jeremy Kletzin also had to fight through the pain of pulling his ass muscle scoring from first on a Bill Remick double. "That hurt like a bitch," Kletzin said from the trainer's table. "It was pretty tough pitching, but the bats really picked me up in that second game."
Jeff "Trash" Rosner got Senser's rolling at the start of the second game by "taking out the trash" with a 3-run dong. "That felt pretty nice," Trash said after he and Bruns finished talking about how great Nebraska football is. "Just like Eric Crouch catching that TD pass against Oklahoma, that dong got the team fired up and ready to rock." The team was fired up to the tune of 13 runs plated in the 2nd inning, leading the Mafia to start invoking the name of softball's William Wallace, Rick. "Yeah, if Rick was here, we'd just play 5 infielders and none of that cheap stuff you guys have been hitting all night would be going through," the catcher for the Mafia was saying after Senser's was well on their way to kicking ass. "Not only that, but Rick throws it harder than any of you guys can hit it, can play the entire outfield by himself, can hit an 8-run homer, and would consume you with balls of fire from his eyes and lightning bolts from his arse." This said catcher also didn't need a bat at the plate, as he managed to draw four walks off of pulled-ass Kletzin. "Seriously, that is the lamest thing I've ever seen," Hinrichs laughed to Thomas over on third base. "Do you really think that his wife said to him before he left, 'Hey baby, if you walk four times tonight you're going to get lucky'?" "Yeah, but you know if that was Rick up there, he would've gotten three bases out of all of those walks," Thomas replied.
After the big win, the team made their way to the bar to start the quest to defend its title as the #1 boozehound softball team in the Twin Cities. Almost on cue, four of the fans who will be competing for fan of the year got up on the wheel and spun for big money after Renae Siewert hit a big putt to give the victory to the ladies. There was a bit of a surprise when the women came back to the team, as 2001 Boone's Farm Fan of the Year Jayme Forstrom zonked on the wheel- something she never did all last season. "There's going to be some tough competition this season for the fans," Forstrom sighed after the big loss. "I'll be fine...I expect to get a chance to win the big spin some night and that should put me right back on top." Renae Siewert had a chance to put some serious distance between herself and the rest of the fans after her name was called for the final spin, but she came up with a big zonk. "That would've been big right there...not only would've I gotten a big lead in the fan standings, but then I'd have some money to help pay for that MP of a boyfriend I've got." When all was said and done, rookie fan Susan Hansen had the big spin of the night with a $5 food ticket, edging out Siewert and Beth Holbrook's $4 free drink coupons, giving her the early lead in the fan standings. "All of that freezing outside paid off...to be able to say that I'm the #1 fan of this Senser's softball team is quite the accomplishment."
Next week's game goes down at 8:00 again, on the same Field 4 again, against the Surfin' Birds.
Swelvax Player of the Week:
Ryan Thomas/Dan Hinrichs. Both left side infielders went 9-for-10 on the night, with Thomas reaching base every time and Hinrichs scoring 9 runs.
MVMP, presented by Mike Biebl:
Rick, Fat Scooby, and the catcher, Minnesota Mafia.Rick gets the award since he didn't show up, costing the Mafia two 25-run victories. Fat Scooby and the catcher get the other parts of this award for being trash-talking assclowns.
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