Fun, Random, Odd, & Familiar Words Over the Years...

Kim: "He must be on crack!"

Bri: "Just kiss  him already." (Why is that everyone's advice to me?!?)

Kim: "Just tell him he's stupid and he smells funny."

Prof. Luis: "Oh go fly a kite!"

Bri: "Nippy, get off her, you know you weigh more than she does!"

"Eat the lawyer; eat the lawyer!" (Jurassic Park night in Frankfurter Suite 116, the Cafe, the first of many movie nights!)

Dr. Brown: "They replaced a professor who can't talk with one who can't walk."

Kim: "I'm suffer-cating."

Me: "I give up! Who cares about this class!  This take-home is impossible!"
Carlo: "Um...is she okay?"
Damon: "Oh yeah, she'll be fine.  We just need to get her a cookie.  Or a doughnut.  Or some ice cream."
Linda: "Or some crack."
(Damon, I will never forget that stupid final!)

Jackie: "He played basketball?  Isn't he a little, umm, petite?"

Bobby: "She's as dense as this column...and as pale, too!"

Damon: "I can make you feel better without drugs.  Unless, of course, you like drugs?"

Fabian (while carrying me when I was sick): "Don't worry, I've been carried like this a lot when I've been intoxicated."

Shanzy: "I have to brush my tooth."

Me: "Boredom is no fun."
Diana: "Umm...wow."

Mark: "I'm sorry, but there is no pill to cure pure stupidity."

Me: "Hey, do you know..." (Imagine a looooooong pause)
MMM: "Umm, was that a complete question?"
Me: "When is...what time is...wait, where...did you...."
MMM: "No?!?"

"If you're going to ask a guy about guys, don't ask the stupid ones!"

Andy: "How do you spell 'phlbt'?"

Jac: "Can I just throw your tv out the window?  Everything in your house has a mind of its own.  I swear they're all possessed.  We need to have an exorcism."

MMM: "Freakin' A!"

M: "Where's Andy?  Is he doing some kind of pre-show ritual?"
Bobby: "You could say that."
Andy (after coming out of the bathroom): "Do I look any thinner?"

MMM on my answering machine: "Hello?  Are you there?  Are you in the shower?  Are you sleeping?  Are you eating ice cream?  Are you online?  Hello?  Pick up the phone.  Hello?  Where are you?  Are you at the store?  Are you peeing?  Are you taking out the trash?"

Jac: "Look, she didn't give him a ride, either!"

Beckie: "Motherhood...now there are some clothes that will fit me."

Andy: "Wow, that phone is the size of a tampon!"

Me: "When I go to work, it's dark.  When I leave work, it's dark."
Chris: "Dude, do you have a window?  'Cause if you don't, that's really sad."

Beckie: "Oh, that's no bueno."

Natasha: "He looks like he's trying to have sex with his guitar."
MMM: "Maybe he's really lonely."

Shanzy: "I like pink.  Pink is perky."

Monica: "I have to pee so I can get away from here."  (Gotta love her logic!)

Pat: "He keeps going for my groin."

Lauren: "What DON'T you do five times a day?"

MMM: "In an idiot."

Beckie (in a text message): "...shopping takes a lot more nrg than I have..."
Me: "Nerg?  What's Nerg?  Oh!  Energy!"

"I was looking at the directions for my facial mask and it said, 'Avoid using on genitals.' Is that normally a problem for people?  I mean, do they really get those two areas mixed up?"

Danny: "You're my fellow freak."

MMM: "Really, officer, I was only going 90, and he just jumped out in front of my car!"  (I'm so glad you have your license now, Matt!)

MMM: "I'm drowndin' my sorrows; I'm drowndin' my pain..."

MMM: "Cue the ho's..."

Lisha: "I have an oral fixation.  I always have to have something in my mouth."

MMM: "That's just asinine."

MMM: "Pimp 'em; hump 'em; dump 'em."

"I should just go walk by and take a bite of that kid's burger..."

"Oh wait, I think my planet is calling me."

"Hit the panic button!!!"  (Wow...we'll never forget that night...terrorizing that poor tourist family...we know they're never coming back to California!)

Bobby: "You need to stop beating up the ATM...I can just see it now: 'Woman assaults ATM.'  By the way, did you know that 'ATM' is also someone's initials?"

Andy: "It wasn't a thong...it was much smaller than one."
Colleen: "Have you ever tried one on?  They're pretty small."
Bobby & Me: "Don't answer that...we don't want to know!"

Cath: "When he sings, he looks like he's getting squeezed somewhere he doesn't want to be squeezed!"

Josh: "He hasn't had a date in 2 years...his hand must be really calloused."

Matty: "Mrs. *** was one hot older woman!"

Cath: "You're right.  Someone SHOULD tell him to never run without a shirt...."

"We're sure he's not gay.  He's just not sure."

Chris: "Let's do some chip shots!"

Diana: "...his star player was ready to come out and play.."
Me: "Yeah, but he didn't have a helmet on...."

Chris: "I don't have a heater or a window...but I do have a whole wall that goes up and down and opens and closes!"

Me: "Your cargo pockets are no fun...they're not Velcro or zippered."
Bobby: "Here, the ones on my butt have Velcro, you can play with those."

"Matthew Michael Miller, get your butt out here right now!"
"Dude, even my mom doesn't middle name me!"

Diana: "Alikies!"

Me: "I don't have spillage problems."
Diana: "No, sweetie, you don't."

Me: "She just spit on me!"
Bobby: "That's what sisters are for...to check out each other's butts and spit on each other!"

Diana: "Gotta check the shelf..."

"Livin' in the Wild, Wild West!"

"They just need to go far, far away!"

"I got into a fight with a purple and white volleyball...and apparently, the volleyball won."

Shanzy: "If you can't hear me, you better come find me!"

"I don't care if we have the same taste in clothes...I just care that he wants to wear my clothes!"

Shan: "The jerk chicken has uses too much all-spice."
Me: "What?  He doesn't use Old Spice, and how can you tell he's a jerk after 2 minutes?  And you're calling him a chicken?  What's that based on?"

Mr. V: "Who is that?  Is that T***?"
Jackie: "No, dad, it's A***."
Mr. V: "Oh, what instrument?"
Jackie: "No, dad, it's A***?  Not an instrument!"
Mr. V: "Wow.  I didn't know people could make those kinds of sounds."

Christina: "It was inflaten..."

"I want to rip her head off and then hit her with it."

Andy: "Just because you're allergic to it doesn't mean you don't want some."

Volleyball boys: "Marchi's go the munchies!"

MMM: "I need to start Scotch-guarding my clothes before fellowship!"

Shanzy: "Look...cowboy!"
Me: "Yeah, but he slouches...oh goodness...I am loud!"

"Stop stealing my drinks.  You don't know where your lips have been!"

MMM: "Do you drink a lot of water?  I think you just cried out a couple gallons."

Beckie: "...my shoulder is still on my bag."

John Mayer (at SDSU OAT): "I just want to make love you, San Diego!!!"

Cath: "He was wearing boxers?  Did you get a peek?"
Me: "No, I didn't."
Cath: "Okay, good.  It's not always pretty."

"You should find out where he golfs so that you can go out there and let that club accidentally fly out of your hand...in his direction.  Or even better...go play tennis with him...I've seen the bruises you give to people!"

"Mine has been stretched out so much it's easy."

From the NCAA Water Polo Rule Book: "The assistant coaches my remain seated on the bench at all times.  The referee may issue a warning, followed by a yellow card, and a red card for violation of this rule by the assistant coach."  (Hmm...that has NEVER happened to me!)

"Oh!  I still have to buy you your screw!"

"Some people should just not be allowed to talk...ever."

"Hmm...he came out, huh?  I thought that there was something missing.  I just didn't know it would be a body part...from me."

Damon: "That's nefarious!"

"Man, I got hosed again!"
"What did you do?  Did you open your mouth?  You know you're not supposed to talk!"

Brian: "Put it on vibrate; you know you like it."

"I think it takes pure genius to be as stupid as that."

Crush from Finding Nemo: "You've got serious thrill issues, dude."

Alisha: "Honey, did you forget to put on the rest of your clothes?"

Me: "My tummy is so swollen from the stupid lap belt.  I can't wear normal pants."
Chris: "It's like being pregnant without the responsibility."

"Stop looking at me like that.  Stop it!  STOP IT!!!"

"I must be a magnet for gay guys..."

Beckie: "If we ignore assistant managers, will they go away?"

"I just checked the FBI's Most Wanted.  You haven't made the top ten yet."

Me: "I like your air freshener."
Bobby: "It's some tropical stuff."
Debbie: "It smells like pot."
Bobby: "Shoot, V, the air freshener was supposed to cover it up!  Now they know what we were doing!"

"Oh, look at that pretty Robin!"
"We're in St. Louis.  That's a cardinal, you idiot!"

"Oh, she's fine.  It's only when she doesn't get back up that we worry."

Andy: "She came out with this sports bra on and I was like, whoa, where did those come from?"

Bobby: "By the time I finish the marathon, you guys will all be at the end in your beach chairs, all nice and rested, and I'll be crossing the line with the old-man wheeze."

MMM: "Just do what I do.  Stop thinking.  Then your head won't hurt so much."

Me: "Did you have a date for Valentine's Day"
Bobby: "Yup, a very long one with my computer."

Chris: "I have a Barney Rubble kind of philosophy on life."
Me: "Umm...okay."
Chris: "Dude, don't sound so freaked out!"

"Hmm...make a living or shop for shoes?"

April: "Well, we could help you do the bike part.  We could pad you up with toilet paper or something!"

Jac: "That is just so wrong..."

Kista: "Why do you even have a bed?  It's not like you sleep."
Bailey, "But Mommy, where would she put all her stuft animals?"

Larry: "You don't ski?"
Me: "Nope.  Not at all."
Grady: "Trust me.  You don't want her to.  The less equipment, or rather, weapons, she has, the safer everyone else is!"

Shan: "I've dated every single non-Mormon guy in Utah already."
Me: "But you've only dated like 2 guys!"
Shan: "Exactly."

Diana: "Well I can occupy some of that time with some food eatage."

Matt W: "A burger is not a burger unless it was at one time bleeding!"

"Cook it until it's dead."

Riana: "I'm nored."

Shell: "Just walk the cow by the fire."

Me: "Milk just tastes better coming from a glass bottle."
Brad: "Does it still have to come from a cow?"

Frank (carrying a giant roast pig): "The pig is here!"
Me: "Cool, but what're you carrying?"

Me: "I really want some satin sheets, but they don't make them in twin-size."
Stace: "Well, maybe it's time for little Vivonne to buy a big-person bed!"

MMM: "Eww.  Her toes move on their own."

Riana: "Guh"

Frank: "Well, not everyone can be like us!"

Shan: "Why do the weird, mean people get married?  What about the normal ones like us?"
Me: "Wait...we're normal?"

Andy: "I have to go find a bigger little kid...they like the drill better."

Bianka: "Have you ever had your head examined?"

Me: "How do you like it out there?"
Jakub: "It's ok...."
Me: "It must be really different out there."
Jakub: "Wow...that was a really intelligent observation."

MMM: "Are you coming to the talent show?  You could do that thing with your toes.  Oh wait, that would be better for stupid human tricks."

Me: "I like coaching guys better...there's so much lass drama!"
Jakub: "Ya think?!?"

Me: "Don't go out in the street with that dress...you might confuse people.  They'll think you're a giant construction cone!" (Her prom dress was signal orange!)
Lauren: "Hahaha...I could just see that."
Me: "Yeah, some drunk person is going to be like, 'Whoa, the cones got really big!"
Lauren: "And they'll think, 'Wow, they  move now!'"

MMM: "I like hanging out with you habitually."

Monica: "Could you please stop bringing the child with you?"

Me: "Love you!"
Chris: "Love you more!"
Me: "No, I love you more!"
Chris: "No, no, no.  I love you more!"
(We could go on forever!)
Matt (sometime later): "That's nauseating."

Lisha: "So back when I was dating the gay guy...."
Me: "Every girl should date a gay guy"
Lisha: "Just to gain a little perspective"
Me: "Yeah, but 3 gay guys is just too much"

"...leave one if you need me..."
Tash: "Leave one what?  A poopie?"

Me: "Call me back on my cell phone.  I won't have it with  me, though."
Beckie: "Umm...ok?"

Me: "I'm fixing my kitchen sink...the whole faucet broke off and it's leaking underneath."
Jakub: "Should you be doing that?  Isn't that what a super is for?"
Me: "I own my place."
Jakub: "Oh yeah.  Well, then, call a plumber."
Me: "Too expensive.  I can do this...uh-oh...oops...hmm...maybe I should call a plumber."
Jakub: "I don't even want to know...."

Baby Harper: "It's BOOTY-full."

Nick: "Here, put this (a clock radio) in your car for the night."
Me: "Why don't you just put it in your car?"
Nick: "Just put it in your car...I'm too tired to think." (Needless to say, Nick did not wake up on time the next morning!)

Jakub: "I just dropped my sister off at a party.  There are 5 daughters in that family.  If I were that dad, I would have serious drinking issues.  I don't know how he does it.  I don't know how your dad did it with even three!"
Me: "You better hope that you only produce boys!"

MMM: "You should put together a photo album and label the pictures 'the Sober One' and the 'Drunk One.'"

Matt S: "What do you think?"
Me: "Nope, I don't think he is."
Matt S: "What, your gay-dar isn't on?"
Me: "Well, nope, it's not, but then again, think about who you're asking here."
Michele': "Yeah, the girl who thinks the gay ones are straight and the straight ones are gay!"

"I want to move somewhere..."
"You should move to Amsterdam.  You'll make more there and you can buy pretty bongs and whatnot, too!"

"No one hurts any of my girls...ok...now I sound like a pimp!"

Chris: "So if you were a girl..."
Me: "If  I were a girl?!?"
Chris: "Dude...that's not what I meant!"

Me: "...now I just need to go find a guy..."
Lisha: "You know ***** would marry you in a heartbeat."  (sigh...so true.)

MMM: "Dynamic orthodoxy is the spiritual laxative for our conservative constipation."  Nice...

JB: "Would you like to be my date for a black-tie event?"
Me: "...that means I have to wear a dress."
JB: "If it'll make you feel better, I'll wear one, too!"

Chris: "Here, let me pay."
Me: "You don't have a job."
Chris: "Now that's just mean."

Ri: "Don't forget my screw!"

Me: "Grady, I don't like hanging out with you anymore...it's just too weird that you and I are checking out the same guys."
Grady: "Well at least you'll know early on if they're gay or not!"

Raquel: "A guy has to look good in a suit."
Me: "And a bigger plus if he looks good in a wetsuit, too!"

Lauren: "The people out here are okay.  They like me...I just don't like them!"

Me: "I could give you a full-body massage."
G: "No you couldn't...because I'll only take one if I can reciprocate."
Me: "Oh.  Why can't you reciprocate?" 
G: "Cuz I'd end up doing you instead."

Me: "Oh, I have to tell you about this guy..."
Lauren: "Oh no.  Did you turn another one?"

MMM: "yes congats '05! and congats to you for winning the spelling bee!! :-P"

Me: "...and the person in this other profile is apparently gay..."
Mon: "Now THAT would be more fitting given your history."

Me: "I need a shot of Riana"
Ri: "I need a slice of Vivonne"
Me: "With whipped cream?"
Ri: "Of course!"

Bianka: "I don't want the church to look like a giant grape."
Me: "I can take care of that for you all by myself."

Ri: "I need a snort of Vivonne."

Dan: "...yeah, we get some of those at REI.  Some guy will come in and be like, 'Dude, I'm going to Africa so I'll need all this stuff.' and then I'll say that we don't have any in the store but that he can get them online...and then he tells me that he's leaving the next day!  The thing is, you know he's not going to be a repeat customer because he's not going to make it back!"
Me: "...at Steuby West in Tucson, we had so many girls that were dehydrated...I was like, 'well drink some water...'"
Dan: "...natural selection..."

Bianka: "I would like to let you know that I have changed my mind. You will all look like giant plums, not grapes."

Me: "Someone broke in and stole my purse and checkbook from my car..."
Dad: "Well at least it wasn't the whole car this time!"

MMM: "Stop teasing me like that...'Well now I want to...'!"

Ri: "Well aren't you such a tease."

MMM: "It's not fair that there are more munis points..."
Me: "What are munis points?..........I just burnt the back of my hand."
MMM: "That's what you get for making fun of my spelling!"

Me: "ok...didn't hink you would care"
Glavine: "omg"
Me: "?"
Glavine: "u made a typo, my heart b still..."
Me: "she went to csu at ft collins, but we went all over the state, prety much"
Glavine: "nother typo..."
Me: "i don't expect you to aways be realy chipper"
Glavine: "nother typo thats 3...ok wheres vivonne and who are you?"

Kate: "Thanks for always remembering my birthday!"
Me: "Of course I remember it...then again, I have at least one birthday to remember for almost every day of the year."
Kate: "You know too many people."

Me: "Your housewarming invite got so mangled in the mail it says, 'Bianka & Jo  ha  e a ne  ho e!'"
Bianka: "Yes, it's a party for our new garden tool."

Me: "I feel like I have a hangover."
Brad: "Yeah, I've heard those Cherry Coke hangovers can be hell."

Bianka: "So are you going to buy some platform shoes?"
Me: "I need more than platforms...I need at least 6 more inches."

Me: "I need to grow a couple cup sizes to fit the dress right."
Shan: "Try those supplements and then let me know if they work."

Katie O: "And really, take your time feeling ready to talk to people again.  People are overrated."

Chris: "wow, it sounds like going into a hostile environment...i feel like the chinese mafia might hunt me down just for being a part of it or something."

Bianka: "We're in Nebraska...it is flat."

Me: "There are just too many liars and jerks in this world."
Chris: "Liars and jerks huh?  Are you new?  You just realized that there are liars and jerks out there? :-)  Do I need to kick some ass for you?  Nobody messes with Vivonne!!!"

Billy: "I'm sure if I opened up the dictionary and looked under 'Accident prone,' I'd find a picture of you!"

Bianka: "Are you allowed to pray for poop?"

Bianka: "It'd be like... standing in front of a zebra and telling it to turn brown. The zebra's mind is made up that it's a zebra.. it's stripes aren't going to change colors."

Billy: "Get your mind off surfing...wait, get that surfboard off your mind!"

Me: "I heard **** got engaged."
Chris: "To what?"

Me: "Hey! Just a quick hello!"
Billy: "Just a quickie huh? ummmmmmm...yes please!!!! ha,hah,hah"

Chris: "Just drink some beer with no pants..."

Bianka: "John is snoring and I can't sleep. I must have missed that part in the marriage instruction manual."

Billy: "You've made surfing a full-contact sport."

Chris: "You're a walking contradiction..."

Me: "The pink thing is kind of fun."
Diana: "I have to mark this day on my calendar."

Billy: "So is anything new?  Hurt yourself...get into any accidents lately?"
Me: "Of course I have, but that's nothing new."
Billy: "You are such a klutz."

Ri: "Hang on a sex"

Bianka: "He sounds like a guy who's hard to read. Especially with troublesome eyes."

Bianka: "I hate *****."
Me: "Wow, those pregnancy hormones must really be kicking in."
Bianka: "I know, that was kind of harsh, wasn't it?"

WYD Memories

Pat C: "Ow...I just pulled a Vivonne!"

"Yo, yo, yo...yo yo yo yo, yo, yo...yo! yo! yo!"

Bob: "Will somebody sew up Paul's pants?"

"Emmanuel..."

Meghan: "It's SO bee-yoo-tee-fulllll!!!"

"Naughty, naughty!"

Paul: "It was so crowded that if I lifted up my legs, I'd still be standing."

"Matt-wich!!!"

Maribeth: "This coffee smells like pot!"

Bob: "You have to pee again?!?  Here...use Chas's water bottle."
Me: "Umm, Bob?  Girls can't do that."

Matt S: "Does this tomato smell funny to you?"

Grant and all his animal sounds...

Chris and all his, well, "adventures"

Jon: "It feels so good to be in a mall again!"

Chas: "What does one whale say to another whale?"

Me & Jon to Beckie: "No, no one's talking...you're dreaming...just go back to sleep...thaaaat's riiiight."

Rach (& later Carrie): "A Ziploc bag works better than a cup..."

Nick: "Hey, who let in Niagara Falls?"

"Who brought Ferragamo shoes on this trip?"
"That would be the same person that only wears Prada underwear."

Heather: "Are you related to anyone on this trip?"
Jon: "I have a girlfriend!"

Me: "Drink until your bladder feels like it's about to burst and you have to pee, and then keep drinking!"
Stina: "That must be one of your favorite sayings."

Shanzy: "Philippe, can you please get your head off my butt?"

"Who's hand is in my crotch?"

Me: "Ew.  I just swallowed a baby grasshopper...trail mix...give me trail mix!"
Nick: "Wow...now we know how to shut her up...feed her a grasshopper!"

"I gotten hitten..."

"It's more funner!"

Chas: "Don't roll that way...."

Everyone: "Where's Nick?!?"

  Take me home

Updated 31 October 2006