11:53am
June stood outside the CAD room door as Matt took the call from the Torbay coastguard. She knew Matt too well, she knew that any change in his voice or his expression could impart good news or bad against his will, and she did not want to be in there to see that. She wanted the pure facts, plain and simple, not supposition on the part of her churning irrational emotions.
The door creaked open, and Matt stood in the doorway, looking pale.
"Matt - Matt, what is it?" She grabbed for his arm, squeezed tightly, too tightly maybe, but�
"The boat has been spotted by a volunteer on shore."
"And?" June gazed up at Matt, her eyes begging him for answers.
"As far as they can tell, there was nobody on board. And it's getting a real battering, they say it'll only be a matter of time before it sinks."
"So they did go out." June shook her head, leant up against the wall. "They did go out, and they were caught up in it. And if they're not on the boat�" June's head slumped downward, and Matt could sense her defeat.
"June, June, come on�" Try as he may, Matt could think of no more encouraging words. The situation was looking increasingly bleak. He could only gaze at her as a tear sneaked down her cheek and she wiped at her eyes.
"Sarge�" Kerry again. "There's been a big accident on the High Street, we've got loads of calls coming in�"
"I�." He looked to June, who ushered him away with a flick of her hand. "Go." Matt gave her one last glance, then moved back in through the door, reappearing only seconds later with a handbag in his grasp. "You had this with you when you came in�have you got your mobile with you?"
"I�I don't�" June was confused. Grief was beginning to infiltrate her every sense. Matt searched through the bag on her behalf and extracted a mobile phone. "Hang on�" He dashed into the CAD room, scribbled something on a piece of paper which he handed to June when he returned. "That's the number of the coastguard."
"But there's no point!" June screwed up the paper in her palm and threw it to the floor. "Jim is DEAD!" She turned away from him, leant her head against the blue wall and sobbed.
"I know it may look that way but you can never give up hope! You call them. And�call Jim. Call him. He may not be able to call you but you could get through to him, somehow�you've got to keep that hope alive, June."
"Sarge�" Kerry again, irritated.
"Just try it." Matt picked up the paper and passed it to her again. "Please."
June glanced up and nodded. "Alright. Alright."
***
June pushed open the door of the CSU and wandered over to her desk. She slumped down into her chair, smoothed out the paper and simply looked at her phone. She knew that Matt had a point, but calling either number was simply going to lay herself open to more pain - if that was in any way possible.
"Sarge?"
June jumped out of her skin as she heard a voice behind her. She swivelled around. "Brandon! What are you doing here?"
"Paperwork. What's going on?"
"Nothing, nothing, I�" She looked into his eyes, such caring eyes and sighed. "Jim's missing. His boat has been spotted but there's no-one on board."
"Oh, Jesus�" Brandon ducked his head.
"Matt said I should try calling him, but if I do, I�if he doesn�t answer�"
"Oh, Sarge�" Brandon hunkered down to her. "I guess you don't need all the clich�s."
"No. I've heard them all. I know people are just trying to be a comfort, but�" They heard the door open and shut and glanced up. "Oh, no�that's all I need." Tony Stamp stood by the doors. "Make him go away, please�"
"OK�" Brandon looked confused but stood and walked over to Tony. "She doesn't want to talk."
"I just want to tell her I'm sorry."
"And she doesn't need platitudes. I think you'd better go."
"Look, she'll talk to me�" Tony tried to push the smaller man aside.
"You just don't know when to stop, do you, Tony?" June was on her feet now, advancing on them. "Why are you here? To gloat? You never did like Jim, did you? Ever? You go on about how the two of you were such good friends and how he betrayed you, but didn�t YOU betray him? The things you said about him when he was ill - I overlooked them then but they were cruel, Tony, so cruel. You acted like his illness was a personal vendetta against you, to make YOUR life miserable. Did you ever stop for a moment to consider how he was feeling? He wasn't in control of anything, don't you understand that? And he didn't want to hurt anybody!"
"I just�I'm sorry, it's just when blokes�"
"Show their emotions? Yes, I'm sure that is something which is alien to you, isn't it Tony? Why don't you try doing it once in a while? Let yourself live. Maybe let yourself love. Stop blaming your miserable lonely life on everyone else."
Tony's features crossed over with anger, but then he sagged and looked downwards, away from June's intense gaze. "You�you really are in love with him, aren't you?"
"Yes. Yes I am." She didn't even bother to glance around to gauge Brandon's reaction to his revelation, as she simply didn't care. "And I have never�I've never felt this way about any man before. It's come as a shock to me that love can feel this way. I can't be without him for a moment, Tony. So the thought of being without him forever�" Her words stalled. She looked up at Tony, her eyes dancing with loss and wildness.
Tony stepped forward and pulled June into his embrace. "I'm so sorry, June. For everything. And I'll say the same to Jim, when he gets back."
June stiffened in his arms, and then broke away from his grip. Tony looked to Brandon for an explanation. Brandon simply shook his head and shrugged.
"No�" Tony mumbled under his breath.
"Can you two�go�please�I�I'm going to try to call Jim's phone, and�I'd rather be alone."
"You shouldn't be alone, June�"
"Tony, no. Just go, please. You too, Brandon. Just go." June watched as the two men left the room, glancing back as they reached the door and then disappearing.
She picked up her phone, and with a steely determination, she retrieved Jim's number and made the call.
***
Brandon came back in ten minutes later. "Sorry, Sarge, just need to get something."
"No - Brandon, it's alright, you carry on."
"Did�the call�anything?"
"No. Out of range. I should have known better, Jim always takes his mobile when he's diving, in case there's a problem and the boat's radio fails�he would have�have had it with him, and�" June looked at Brandon. "You know, everything is telling me I've lost him but still�I�can't grasp�what that really means."
"I don�t think anybody ever does grasp what the loss of someone they love really means. You just have to cope with it. You'll never get over it, but�."
"You're right. I'll never get over it. I'll never get over Jim."
"You've known him a long time?"
"All my life. Well�that's how it feels. Twenty years next May. I was his puppy walker."
"And you were best friends?"
"Always. If either of us had a problem, we always knew the other was there. Jim was never judgemental; he'd just listen, give advice but never push. He knew people had to make their own mistakes. And he did, oh god, he did, but�he's stronger for it. And it was only recently that I realised�that that friendship had turned into something more. So much more. Don't ask me when, or why, but�" She stopped, shook her head. "I can't do this Brandon, I can't be alone for the rest of my life�."
"Jim'll be alright, and if not�there's always�maybe�"
"What, someone else? No. Never. There never will be anyone else. It's taken me this long to find love this real, this intense. It'll never happen again. Jim and I�we're meant to be together. At least�that's what I thought."
She looked away from him, looked back down at the phone. Her eyes fell shut in contemplation, and an image of Jim appeared before them�the moment he had told her for the first time that he loved her, that utter adoration, that awe, and she had closed off, pushed him away for so long and still now�
The shrill ringing of the phone in front of her disturbed her reverie. Her eyes cracked open, she hardly dared look down to the small screen.
Forcing herself, she glanced downward, and saw, in black text on green the words:
"JIM CALLING"
TO BE CONTINUED
