As she approached her office door she saw Gabriel coming towards her she stood still and stared him in the eyes. He spoke first looking agitated. "Well did you see him?"
June looked at him as she said with great emotion. "None of your bloody business now leave me alone PC Kent. "She walked into her office and slammed the door.
She sat down shaking all the emotion of the day was too much for her to bear alone, but this was how it had to be for June. She felt so alone and so afraid not sure of how to deal with Gabriel, finding Robert and most of all not sure of how to deal with the fact that she still loved one man and so wanted him to love her back. He head was spinning as the door opened she looked up and was about to shout go away when she saw Jim standing in front of her.
Jim gazed down at her with those deep grey eyes. What always amazed June was the fact that whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on Jim was always there. He never needed to be asked, he would just appear at the right time, as he was doing now. Jim looked down at her, he wanted to go over to her and hold her in his arms. He never really thanked her for being there for him when it all came to ahead with him and Marie. He still can't really believe she was there for him after all he had put her through. This is what made him realise even more how stupid he had been and how much he loved her and still loved her and in time would do anything to gain her trust again as a friend and who knows maybe as a lover if she would have him back. He could see she was upset he sat on her desk and silently called her name..."June!"
She looked up at him..."Jim what can I do for you?"
"You looked upset." He held out some tissues for her as she took hold of them and took one out of the packet she tried to hide her tears. "It's nothing Jim."
"Is it Gabriel?"
June let out a cry as she melted inside she wept as she gazed at Jim. "Yes� I mean no... Oh I don't know Jim".
"June you left me a message but when I got back Poll told me you had already left. Where have you been?"
June was about to speak but held back..."Jim I really appreciate your concern but I would really like some time alone now." She looked away and buried her head in her hands.
Jim stood up not wanting to pressure her he touched her arm and squeezed it hoping June still remembered what he had said on the phone� he would be there for her like she had been for him always. Jim walked towards the door as June softly said..."Thanks Jim." As he closed the door June cried out loud. Her whole life was a mess from the day she was raped it had always been a mess. Would it ever be ok to love someone and accept that they loved her!
She was drying her eyes as Gina walked into the room and closed the door behind her and closed the blinds. June looked up at her and crumpled again. Gina walked over to her and touched her shoulder as she quietly..."Look June I'm not very good at all this. I'm sorry I found out about Gabriel and I'm deeply sorry you had to find out the way you did."
"Why Ma'am? Why did you get hold of his birth certificate and how?"
Gina sat down..."Look June when Marie accused him of hitting Jim over the head I believed her. Don't ask me why, but after all he did to me and Ruby I don't trust him. I'm sorry I know he's your son but there is something about him that just doesn't ring true."
"You're not kidding there" June wanted to tell Gina everything but that would mean telling her she had slept with Gabriel and that would be too much for her to deal with. The whole relief would want to know why Gabriel was being pushed out of the force.
Gina looked at June. "Do you want to get to know him as your son?"
June shook her head..."This may sound hard but we have decided to let the past stay in the past. I told him why I had to give him up. "She glanced at Gina..."I was raped Ma'am...his father raped me and apart from you there is only Jim and Polly that knows this. I would appreciate it if you don't repeat this to anyone."
Gina was shocked. "Ohhh June I am so sorry if I'd have known this I wouldn't have gone digging...well maybe I would have but would have destroyed the evidence after."
"No honestly Ma'am I'm glad I know who he is but as for catching up on lost years that won�t be happening. I can work with him if I have to but I would rather not be paired with him if you don't mind."
Gina nodded. "What about Jim?"
June looked up at her confused..."Jim!"
"Oh come on June, if he wants to help let him in. He still loves you June."
June shook her head as she stood up..."With all due respect Ma'am I don't think either of us are ready to even think about that side of our relationship at the moment."
"Ok have it your way but don't push him out June, not again." She winked at June and told her to go home.
June was just stepping out of the bath and blowing out the candles as she heard the doorbell ringing she quickly wrapped herself in her dressing gown. She went to her bedroom and looked outside the window to see who it was. She looked at her alarm clock 7.30pm she peeped and saw what she thought was Jim's car. Then she saw Jim step back and look up at the window. She saw him smile up at her.
She panicked what was he doing here? She really didn't have time to dress so she would just have to answer the door as she was. She ran a comb through her hair and went downstairs. She opened the door Jim smiled at her..."Hello", he held a bottle of red wine in front of him "thought you could do with some company� if not... then take the wine off me and I will see you tomorrow."
June opened the door further and stepped aside allowing him to come inside. As she took his coat she smiled a knowing smile at him. Instinctively he hugged her he held her tight and the two of them stood there in the hallway in total silence. A comfortable silence! As Jim pulled away he could see she was crying he wiped away the tears as he spoke. "You eaten yet?"
June shook her head in silence as Jim took hold of her hand it was cold he rubbed it quickly. "You go upstairs dry your hair and get dressed while I'll rustle up something for us both to eat."
June was about to speak as Jim put a finger to her lips. "No questions and no protests do as I say."
Jim took the wine and placed it on the table and set to cooking Spaghetti bolognaise June's favourite.
June went upstairs and quickly dried her hair. She dressed in her comfy clothes as she called them. She looked at herself in the mirror. There would have been a time when Jim was here that she would put on her make up carefully, dress in something she knew Jim loved her in and then finish off with a squirt of Jim's favourite perfume. She reached out for the bottle if she wasn't bothering with the make up she could at least make an effort with the perfume. She squirted some of it behind her ears.
As she went downstairs she could smell Jim's cooking and she could hear him whistling she stopped on the bottom step and smiled while a host of memories flooded back to her when her lived here. She appeared in the kitchen door way as he was dishing out. He glanced up at her and was taken aback at how natural she looked but still radiant to him. He winked at her as he moved round to hold out a chair for her to sit down as he tucked the chair in he lent down..."We eat now but you talk later. Ok!"
June looked up at him and the corners of her mouth curled slightly upwards. She was still unsure of exactly what she was going to tell him.
June eat some of her food but played with the rest. Jim made small talk throughout but June wasn't really listening and Jim was well aware of it. He took he plate from her as she glanced up...."I'm sorry Jim I guess I'm not that hungry."
"It's ok go into the living room while I finish up here take your wine I'll bring the bottle in."
June moved into the living room and sat on the couch curled up she sipped her wine slowly she had told Jim all about the rape, he knew that much but telling her about seeing Robert would mean she would have tell him she slept with Gabriel. If she did that she was sure that there would never be any chance of them getting back together...or would there?
Jim walked in and sat next to her he raised his eyes to her as if to say is it ok to sit here. June patted the seat next to her. Jim sipped his tea and put his feet up curled under him and faced her. He laughed out loud as June looked at him questioningly..."Well it's like old times. I've cooked, washed up poured your wine and made myself a cup of tea." A slight smile came upon Junes face..."I suppose it is."
There was a moment of silence as June spoke...."Jim do I know everything about you? I mean everything? Past girlfriends, old lovers, good times dark times... everything!"
Jim nodded as he moved round so he was sat facing her. "Yep I have to say now after Marie and what she did to me you know pretty much all there is to know. Why?"
June stared into space as she continued..."Do you know everything about me then?"
Jim was confused he got the feeling she was testing him, testing his loyalty, even testing his love if he was honest with himself.
"I know everything you've told me!"
"Did you think any less of me after I told you I was raped?"
"June why would I it made me...well it made me realise there is more to you."
"What were your thoughts when you found out about Gabriel?"
Jim looked away he had to be honest. "I have to admit I was hurt. That was the one thing I couldn't understand you not telling me."
June poured more wine and looked away as Jim thought back to the events of the day..."What did you mean when you said you did it to get back at me? What did you do?"
June curled up tightly she felt sick all she could see as she closed her eyes was Gabriel touching her is repulsed her now. She sobbed as Jim moved in closer to touch her shoulder June shrugged him off and screamed..."Get off me don't you dare touch me!" She looked up and saw it was Jim and not Gabriel as she had pictured in her head. She could see the hurt in his eyes..."Jim I thought..."She crumpled as Jim came in closer but this time taking care not to touch her.
"June what is it who did you think it was?"
She looked up at him pleading in her eyes to be held, to be understood, to be loved.
"I thought you were Gabriel...Jim...I.... we�ve.... been sleeping together!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jim was stunned he wasn't sure he heard her correctly..."I'm sorry what..."
"Jim please don't make me say it again please!"
Jim stood up he felt as if June had ripped his heart out. He paced up and down the living room thinking about what June had said letting it sink in. June watched him she wiped her tears away as she spoke. "That's what I meant when I said I was getting back at you. It's the only reason I slept with him Jim. It was after Marie attacked you and I had visited you in hospital you said I wasn't your problem and that I needed someone to mother not a lover. Jim you hurt me so I walked straight into the open arms of Gabriel. Now I know it was all part of his great plan to get back at me."
That's when Jim realised the true extent of what June had just said about sleeping with Gabriel. He walked back towards her and knelt down in front of her..."June he's your son that means. June do you know what it means?"
June grabbed at his hands but he pulled them away quickly..."No Jim it's not what you think!"
Jim stood up. "June you have slept with your own son... that's incest!"
"Jim Gabriel is not my son that's what I am trying to tell you!"
Jim sat down next to her and looked at her wine. "God I really need a drink because I am really confused June."
June faced him and reached her hand up to meet his cheek Jim bent his face towards her hand and felt how cold it was. June could feel the tears fill up in her eyes as she softly spoke to him.....
"Jim what I am about to tell you is to go no further ever. I have yet to come to terms with it all myself and I need to tell someone I can trust. Someone I know. Someone I hope would not judge me before hearing everything I have to say and most of all someone I hope will help me through all of this. Jim I am laying this all before you and I know you have a lot to deal with yourself after Marie. Jim I need you. That's all I can say."
Jim took hold of June�s hand...."I'm here for you June I'm here..."
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