It's a few weeks after June has returned from her holiday, Jim and Marie are together and June has accepted it as best she can. They are in CSU, talking about life and the universe when Jim suddenly makes a surprise announcement.
***
"June, I love you and want to be with you, but... Marie is having my baby!"
"Jim... so am I�" June said softly.
"But you can't be!"
"Well I am."
"But you CAN'T be!"
"Erm, I beg to differ"
"But June, you're�"
"Female: yes. Capable of having children: apparently so."
"No, I mean you're�"
"I'm what Jim?" June glared at him.
"You're� well� too�"
"Too what?" She rolled her eyes.
"Mature."
"Gee thanks Jim. It's times like this I remember why we broke up." She rued.
"I didn't mean it like that, I just thought� you know, well�" Jim looked around and tried to run away.
"Well you know what thought did."
"It's just a shock, that's all."
"I wasn't exactly planning it either." She looked at him rubbing her stomach absentmindedly.
"What am I going to do?" Jim looked up as the CSU door swung open. It's Marie. "Ohhhhhh, God." He moaned.
"Hi Marie, Don't think we've met." June approached her and shook her hand, before removing her cardigan, exposing her swollen stomach.
Jim cowered. "Ohhhhhhhhh God, no...."
"I hear congratulations are in order for you and Jim." June smiled.
"Yes� four weeks gone. Looks like you're in the same condition yourself, congratulations."
"Thank you. I'm a bit further on than you though."
"I can tell, three, four months?"
"Four months yeah. Almost half way."
"Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"
"Haven't found out yet. Not sure if I want to. Think it would be nice to wait and get a surprise. Can't say I have a preference though - as long as it's healthy."
"Yeah, that's the only thing that matters. How's the father coping?" Jim squirmed, looked up and again tried to bolt for the door
"He's pretty shocked I think." She shot a glance over at Jim. "I bet Jim almost fell over when you told him your news."
"He couldn't believe it at first. He was all "You can't be, how did that happen?""
"That sounds familiar. Went through that myself. �How can you be? You're too� mature!� Charming eh?"
Marie laughed. "Men, eh. Can't imagine what he'll be like at the birth. You are going to come in to the delivery room, aren't you Jim?" Marie looked over at Jim, who Polly is holding in a none too subtle arm lock.
"Erm yeah." Jim muttered, squirming in Polly's grip
"Don't look too enthusiastic, will you?! You've known him longer than me, June, is he squeamish?"
"Yeah he is actually. Shame you can't send him for a trial run first."
"Yes, it's a pity. What about your man?"
"I don't think he'll be there. We're not exactly together anymore."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Marie moved in closer. "What happened?"
"He was afraid of commitment. But get this. I went on holiday and came back to find out he's seeing someone else!"
"No! Oh, June, you don't deserve to be treated like that."
"I'm over it now. It's his loss at the end of the day. Last I heard he'd got her pregnant too. Got a lot on his hands right now."
"He sounds like an awful person. You're better off without. What you need, June, is someone like Jim."
Polly choked back a loud giggle as Jim once more squirmed in her arms. June grinned. "Maybe I do."
"But not Jim himself of course, he's mine." Marie smiled.
"Yeah of course, I know that. Tell me Marie, what would you do in my situation?"
"Oooooh, get revenge."
"I was thinking that could be fun. Any ideas? I mean he's going to be struggling supporting two children as is." Her eyes twinkled wickedly.
"I don't know� get him at your beck and call, tell him he has responsibility for the baby - which of course he does - and keep him running back and forth. Wear him out."
"I'm sure his new woman wouldn't like that. A PC's salary isn't much as you well know and of course, I'd have to stop working, at least for a while."
"Of course. I'll tell you something June, this bloke deserves everything he gets. What about his new woman, does the poor cow know about you?"
"I don't know, I never asked. I don't think so mind you. She's going to get a shock."
"I can't believe women even fall for men like that. Not when there are men like my Jim around."
"You've got yourself one in a million Marie. I can tell you there aren't many like him."
"No. He's very special. Very loving, attentive." Marie turned to look at Jim. "I know he would never let me down."
"I never though my man would let me down like this." June sighed. "But with friends like Polly to help me through, I'll get there."
"What about Jim? I thought you two were mates."
"We are. He's going to have enough on his plate with your little one though."
"Now it's sunk in, he can't wait." Marie approached Jim.
"Bet he can't - you've still got a while to go. Make sure he doesn't get cold feet and run away."
"He wouldn't, would you Jim?" Jim didn't look at her. "Jim?"
"Yeah Jim, tell Marie you wouldn't desert a pregnant woman." June chided.
"I can't do this." Jim stuttered. A lone tear snuck down his cheek.
"What's wrong Jim?" Marie looked concerned and approached him.
"Marie, I� I'm sorry but I can't be with you."
"What?!" Marie turned to June, tears streaking her face. "So what have you found out about single parent benefits."
"Marie, let me explain�"
"June, are you sure we haven't got the same man here, gets you pregnant then runs away." Marie sighed choking back a sob. The room is filled with a horrible, horrible silence. The truth finally dawned. "It is the same man."
"I'm sorry Marie." June stuttered. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you. He should have told you himself. Too much of a coward I guess." She glanced over at Jim.
"How long� before we met� did you two split up?"
June looked at Jim. "Go on Jim� tell her the truth. She deserves to be treated properly."
Jim looked down at the floor. "Two weeks, give or take. And even then, it wasn't over� emotionally."
"So you jumped into bed with me, when you were still involved with her� sorry June, I don't blame you for this. You're in the same boat as me."
"I was confused� June told me she still had feelings for me then walked out, went on holiday, what was I supposed to think?"
"Hmm let me think?" Marie shouted. "Maybe that you should sort things out with her, find out where you stand before getting involved with me. I was vulnerable Jim. And now look what's happened. What a mess."
"I'm sorry� but if she loved me, if she really loved me she would have stayed so that we could work it out!" Jim sobbed.
"After you telling me you didn't want to be with me?" June said with a raised voice. "You broke up with me, and I didn't deserve a holiday to get over it. You broke my heart Jim. You know that. And if you wanted to work things out you could have said so. Not led Marie on like that."
"I didn't know what to do. Don't you think my heart was broken too? I didn't want to leave you, God knows I didn't, but I had this voice in my head telling me over and over that I wasn't good enough for you�"
"So where do I fit into this then Jim?" Marie asked.
"I care for you, I really do. You and Ben. But� I was just looking to fill a hole in my life. But its taken until now for me to realise that that hole is too big to fill� except� Marie, June's my best friend, she has been for twenty years, and she was my lover, and I can't function without her."
"Great so I'm just there as a stop gap measure. This is presuming she want you back. June? Not sure I'd be so brave, or stupid."
"It doesn't make any sense�" June looked at Jim, her eyes full of tears. "He's broken my heart, put me through agony like I've never known before, but I just can't� stop� loving him."
"I should have seen this coming..." Marie sighed. "I knew there was something not quite right between us but I couldn't put my finger on it."
"I wish I could be with you, Marie, but love like this� it can't be ignored. I tried, but she's there with me when I wake up, there with me when I fall asleep, when I daydream I catch myself thinking about her�"
"Then that's it." Marie turned away from Jim and June. "Don't bother phoning. I've brought up kids on my own before, I can do it again. And you June." She paused choking back a sob, "I hope you know what you've let yourself in for and he doesn't break you heart again."
"Marie, you know I'll look after you, support you and the baby�" Jim grabbed for her arm but she shrugged it off.
"No Jim. I don't want anything to do with you. That child's going to be lumbered with you as a father - this one doesn't need you."
"Marie� please�" She shook her head and walked away, slamming through the doors of the CSU. There was silence for a long moment. Then Jim turned to look at June. "I'd say I was sorry but I don't think that's enough."
"Right now Jim, I don't know what you should do." June sighed. "You've got yourself into a right mess."
"Don't you think I know that?" Jim wiped at his face, perched on the edge of his desk. "June, when I fell in love with you it terrified me."
"It terrified me too, believe me." She walked over to him, stopping in front of him and gathering him in her arms as he buried his head into her chest. "I nearly ran a mile Jim, remember? I was so scared about loving you and being loved. I'd had my heart broken too many times before."
"I had never� never felt like that about anyone before. I couldn't let myself believe it was real. While you were... running away from me� I could cope� but as soon as you said you loved me, and I felt the strength of your love, and our devotion� I just couldn't cope. I just knew something had to go wrong. My life is never that good."
Jim looked up at her. "I was scared too Jim. And I'm ever more scared now." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "But it's not just the two of us now. I never thought I wanted children but now I know that was because I'd never been in love before. This child is a sign of our love and I want you to be there with me every step of the way."
"I said this before and I'm saying it again� I don't deserve you. And you don't need me. You're strong enough on your own, I'd only bring you down."
"Jim if I was strong I wouldn't be standing here terrified would I? I thought about having an abortion when I was away but I couldn't bear that thought of killing a part of you. At least if I couldn't have you I would have a part of you with me, a part that no one could take away."
Jim shook his head against her chest. "But I'm still waiting for something to go wrong. And that feeling gets so bad that I make something go wrong, just to get it over with, June� please, I don't want to hurt you again�"
"I won't let you hurt me Jim. We need to take a step back and work at this. And I KNOW we can make this work. There's a bond between us that can't be broken - and this baby is a sign of it. I can't do this on my own Jim�"
"No�" Jim broke down and sobbed. "It's for your own good."
"No it's not." June said, her own eyes filled with tears. "Jim, listen to me. I need you� we need you. And I'm not letting you go that easily."
"Why do you even want me?" He pulled away, sucked in a quivering breath. "I know you love me but I've been so cruel and so weak. I don't even deserve your friendship, let alone your love."
"Jim I've loved you for almost twenty years. And since I finally got you I've found out I can't live without you. You're not cruel and weak believe me. And you've got me and the baby whether or not you deserve and want us."
"You're depending on me." Jim nodded. "So I guess I've got to be strong. That's not something I've been for a long time, June, and I don't know if i can get back there."
"You can do it Jim. We need you to be strong. Both of us." She placed her hand on her stomach. "I'm going to be needing a lot of help for the next eighteen years or so Mr Carver and you're it."
"You must be a real sadist." Jim shook his head and laughed through his tears.
"I guess I am. But you're stuck with me." She kissed his forehead and smiled at him.
"June� what I said, back then, hasn't changed. This has got to be one day at a time. I can't promise you forever."
"I know that Jim, and I know that we can work through this. I don't know how I'm going to cope with a baby. I haven't a maternal bone in my body. Or at least I didn't think I had. I'm going to need you."
"I'll try. That's all I can say right now. I could end up hurting you and the baby so much, god, June are you willing to take that risk?" He looked up at her with huge, wet eyes.
"If that's the only way I get to have you then yes I'm willing to take that risk."
"You said� months ago, that you loved me and nothing else matters. Is that what you still believe?"
"Yes� I believed it then and I believe it now. Jim I want you in whatever package you come. You told me you'd always love me, but can't be with me. Are you prepared to give it a try?"
Jim shrugged. "The simple fact is that I can't live without you." Then he nodded. "Yes. I love you, June� and maybe everything else doesn't matter. Maybe that's enough to see us through." He reached for her hand, squeezed it tight. "It's going to be a bumpy road, but� I don't want to make the journey alone."
"And neither do I Jim, we're both afraid and sad on our own but together we can do this. I know we can. We can support each other through any problems we face. I'm sure of it."
"God, I love you." Jim placed her hand on June's face and pulled her in for a kiss.
It was then they heard a loud sob, and looked up to see Polly standing by the doors. "Oh, you two�" She bawled.
"I'm still going to need you Pol," June sniffed turning to face her and resting her hand on her stomach. "A big wuss like this won't be much use at times, and besides, this one's going to need its Auntie Polly."
Polly shook her head, and crossed the room, the three of them sharing a hug. They didn't hear the doors open and shut, as Gina Gold stepped in, her arms full of files, until the peace in the room was shattered: "What on earth is going on in here?"
"Nothing ma'am." June pulled away, smiling, and catching Jim's eye. That mischievous, carefree look was coming back.
"Doesn't look like nothing. Or is CSU going all huggy and touchy-feely on me?"
"I thought we already were." Jim chuckled and June clamped a hand to her mouth.
"Erm June is there something I should know," Gina asked as June turned round in front of her. "You're looking a little different to normal. Being eating too much?"
"Um, no�" June rubbed her stomach deliberately. "About the same as usual."
"Then you've got something to tell me I think." Gina grinned at the three assembled in front of her.
"Have we?" June smiled up at Jim.
"I take it you two are back together at least."
"Yes, we are." June reached for Jim's hand and squeezed it.
"Thank God for that, I don't know how much more of the pair of you moping round the station we could take. Anything else you want to share?"
"I don't know, such as?" June smiled, loving every moment.
Gina laughed. "Now do I have to force it out of you, or are you going to tell me Polly? You're enjoying this aren't you June?" Gina laughed.
"Would I, Saint June, take pleasure out of this?"
"I don't think you can call yourself saintly any more can you missy?"
"Maybe not." June rolled her eyes. "Alright. We're pregnant."
Gina grinned and rushed across the room, throwing her arms around a bemused Jim and June as Polly looked on. "Oooh congratulations. So when are you due?"
"Um� October�" June was stunned by this reaction, she had expected teasing.
Gina stepped away and smoothed down her uniform. "Mind you June, I'd have though the pair of you would have been more responsible than this. I mean June Ackland, pregnant out of wedlock, what would the papers say."
"That's the Gina we know and love." June laughed.
"I aim to please." Gina grinned. "This child is going to have so many aunties and uncles doting on it."
"Yes. It's going to be so lucky. Especially with you as a dad." June turned to Jim, placed a hand on his cheek.
Gina screwed up her face and looked at Polly. "Ewww they're getting soppy again. How do you cope in CSU working with this pair`"
"I don't mind it, they're better together than apart." Polly placed a hand on Gina's arm. "Come on, I reckon we should leave 'em to it."
"I think that would be best. Now you two, can we trust you on your own in a room. You do have a fair bit of lost time to make up for?"
"Don't worry, we still do have a modicum of self control." June rolled her eyes.
Gina nodded in the direction of June's stomach. "You sure?"
"Well, I think we can wait until we get home." June grinned as Gina winced.
"So when's the celebratory party?" Gina smiled.
"Party?" Jim laughed. "We hadn't thought that far."
"Any excuse for a knees up."
"We'll let you know." June assured her.
"Glad to hear it. I'll keep my mouth shut til the public announcement then. Don't leave it too long, you know what I'm like." Gina winked. "Now come on Polly we need to talk about... er... staffing levels in CSU. 'Specially now June is going to be putting her feet up."
June and Jim watched them leave. "This is has been quite a day." Jim smiled. "Not all of it good, I still have to sort out things with Marie, and Ben, but I knew today would come."
"That's one for you to sort out Jim. I can't do that one for you. But I can support you."
"Thank you." He pulled her close. "Oooh, you're going to get harder to hug, aren't you?"
"You'll have to make the most of me in the coming weeks then won't you. And then after that, you won't have me to yourself for ooh eighteen years." She paused as the last sentence sunk in. "Jim, eighteen years. What the hell have we let ourselves in for?"
"You don't get that for murder." Jim looked serious for a moment. "We'll love it. I promise you. And then, when he or she leaves home, we can enjoy each other again. If we're still able." Jim rolled his eyes. "I mean, you'll be..."
"James Carver." June swiped at his arm. "Watch it or I'll do something to you which means you won't be able to� for a long time."
"I was going to say� you'll be just as beautiful as the first day I saw you."
"Yeah right Jim. Flattery will get you� erm everywhere. So, how long til we can go home and make up." She looked up at him, eyes twinkling and her entire body radiating complete happiness.
Jim looked up to the clock. "Half an hour ago."
"Sounds good to me. Your place or mine?"
"Yours, nice big house, mine, dingy flat."
"Hmm, hard decision then, but you're driving. I need to start looking after myself more."
"You do. Mine's closer." He ran his long fingers through his hair. "And like you say, we've got so much time to make up for�"
Back to Homepage Back to Stories