�I didn�t mean a celebration here, I thought we could go home�
�Good, I think we have got some talking to do�
�You can say that again�
* * *
June handed Jim a mug of coffee � Thank you, thank you for rescuing me from the pub�
�You have got Des to thank for that, when he rang I didn�t know what to think�
�Des can be quite human when he wants to be, I have got to thank he to really, if he had not of told you god knows where I would be, thankful to
Des Taviner, who would believe it�
�I know, he can be very different when he wants to be...what�s gone wrong Jim, what has happened to us, what�s caused you to self-destructed�
�I don�t know for sure, I don�t really know�
�Lets start at the beginning, we�ve not talked for a while, not properly, not since that day in CSU�
�When you proposed to me, I was so happy, but it sent alarm bells ringing in my head, while I was out walking I kept thinking about how much I love you, how much I need you, I�m scared that I will hurt you so much eventually, well I�m hurting you now aren�t I?�
�Don�t be stupid, I�ve caused this, I�ve hurt you...If I hadn�t proposed to you everything would be fine, these doubts would not be in your head, you would not be doing this to yourself would you?�
He looked at her, noticing the tears in her eyes, realising the damage his words had done � No you haven�t, this isn�t your fault�
�It is, I planted these doubts in your head about his drinking�
He put the coffee mug down, stood up, walked over to her and pulled her into his arms � I think we have both caused each other unnecessary heartache... how about we forget who is to blame and just look to the future, our future together�
�That sounds good to me�
�I love you so much June, I�ve been such a idiot, I could have lost you forever and lost everything�
�You haven�t lost me, we can get through this together, I�m here with you, for you, you are not alone this time, we can fight this together and I am never leaving you Jim�
�I couldn�t cope without you June, you are under my skin, you complete me. I am not a person without you, when I think of what Eva and Paul are going through I can�t believe I would waste my happiness�
�Jim, life can cause us so much pain as it is, we don�t need to add extra misery ourselves do we�
�That�s why I want as to get married, you are the one think that makes me happy, I�ve proved that to myself, look how much I�ve screwed up so far after such a short time�
�Jim I feel the same, that�s why I wanted to marry you too�
�We are so stupid, we have wasted so much time�
�Lets not waste anymore time�
She smiled, lent forward and kissed him softly on the lips
�I will agree with that�
He wrapped his arms around her tighter as they kissed passionately.
Jim kissed June�s forehead softly, he had spent the past hour watching her asleep on his chest, he glanced at the clock, it was now 4am and they had spent most of the night either talking or making love. Each time they had tried to discuss wedding plans, they ended up making love instead, as if trying to prove their love for each other, prove that they could wipe away each others pain, each others hurt.
She moaned contentedly in her sleep, tighten her grip on Jim�s hand as if to make sure she would not lose contact with him. He smiled to himself; still not believing that she was his fianc�e, he was so happy yet so scared at the same time. He had to beat his drink demons, he knew he could do it with her by his side, their love and her support would help him, he had managed it before without her love, this time he could not fail, he hoped he wouldn�t. If she could marry him knowing all his faults and problems he could do this for her, he owed it to her if not to anyone else.
He kissed her again � I love you so much Mrs Carver to be�