�What the hell are you watching?�
�Simpson�s � it�s fun.�
�It�s noisy.� She took her glasses off and looked steadily at the man stretched out on her couch. �I thought we were going out.�
�Well I had a bath and got ready but �someone� was still working. So I settled down for the night.� He smiled without taking his eyes from the television but she saw, it warmed her, that gentle reassurance that was becoming so similar to her. That cheeky boy inside that reared itself every now and then, how far he could push it before she got irritated.
�I�m sorry, I will go and get changed if you still want to eat out.�
�I�m starving.�
She laughed out loud and leant back against the doorframe. He looked up at her, it surprised him she hardly ever laughed properly, the odd smile or giggle but never had he seen her collapse with hysterics, not in years anyhow. �What�s so funny?�
She waved her hand trying to cover her mouth. �Nothing, I�m sorry.�
He threw the remote down and swung his legs off the couch. �It can�t be the show you weren�t watching.� He smiled amused at her discomfort.
She shook her head and tried to breathe. �No, it wasn�t.�
She seemed somewhat embarrassed by her outburst, like something personal had been revealed. She took a deep breath and looked straight at him, he was smiling, relaxed. �I�m sorry.�
�Oh suddenly serious. Why don�t you laugh like that more often?�
She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him. �I�ll go change.�
He jumped up and followed her grabbing her arm. �June, if you�re uncomfortable with this� with me being here. You didn�t have to do it just to please me, to feel sorry for me.�
�Jim, it�s not that. I�m not used to walking round my house and having somebody lying on my couch, or wanting to use the shower before me or needing dinner at a slightly earlier time than me � hell wanting to eat at all. I�ve spent so long living alone I�m used to doing what I want when I want to. You�re right this isn�t easy.� She walked past him and sat down on the stairs. �I do get annoyed and defensive, some things are just plain stupid, I go into the kitchen and a cup�s been moved and it might get to me because you have done it.�
�June��
�No wait, that�s just me being ridiculous, over reacting, you have to understand, it�s so difficult for me to accept somebody like this, to trust and give and even laugh openly in front of them.�
�I like to hear you laugh.�
�What about seeing me at my worst?�
�You mean I haven�t already? The shouting and put downs and polite shrug offs.�
�Alright, alright you made your point, I make your life hell and treat you badly.�
He knelt down in front of her. �You make my life happy.�
�And you�re such an old romantic. In this day and age where men sleep around and detach from commitment it�s you pushing for it, needing it. And me who fears it.�
�Fear it?�
�Don�t look so worried.� She brought her hand up to rest on his shoulder. �I am scared, I�m scared of what will happen when people find out because as much as I try and avoid it and brush this under the carpet they will find out. It�s getting too serious for that. I�m scared of messing this up, of hurting you of not being able to give you enough. Of ending up alone.�
�Is that why you asked me to� because of what�s been happening at the home?�
�Partly, it shook me up made me realise what I have, what we have. And what I stand to lose if I don�t stop and appreciate this.�
�Thank you, I think I needed to hear that, I really thought you were pushing me away again.�
�I know, you think I don�t know that look you get now, every time I turn away.�
�I just want to be with you, share things, you don�t have to hide from me June. Something�s funny then laugh, if it�s sad cry, if you�re angry shout at me I�m used to it! Just don�t try and shut me out all the time. Each time I learn something new about you I just love you more. Never less.�
�You�re always so sweet, I don�t think anybody has ever looked at me the way you do.�
�Stop this could slip into sloppy film territory and besides my back is killing bent down here.� She laughed again as she helped him up.
�Now there�s the romance gone, you really want to eat out or shall we just have takeout?�
�Let�s do that, what do you fancy?�
�Anything, you choose. I�ll go and get changed anyway.� She kissed him gently and started to go upstairs. �In that box you brought over, were there any cards, I fancy winning at something.�
�Try as you might you won�t beat me at cards.�
�We�ll see��
* * *
Later, after Jim�s choice of fish and chips for dinner and June�s initial annoyance at it then congratulations at the fabulous choice of fast food, they played cards. Then gave up and tried to build a bridge from them which collapsed and she had thrown the ones that still stood on the table at him. And he�d climbed onto the couch and watched as she attempted to tidy up and subsequently given up.
�Oh I�m too tired to clean up.�
He closed his eyes. �Leave it, we�ll do it in the morning, nobody will know.�
She watched him for a second, considering whether to drag him up to bed or not. But there was a blanket over the chair, she switched the main lights off and the small lamp on, took hold of the blanket and placed it over him. Then she lifted her jumper up over her head and climbed onto the couch next to him. His hands rested on her waist and he kissed her head. �You�ve taken you�re top off.�
�Mmm, so it�s easier to fumble in the dark.� She moved on top of him leaving him in no doubt as to her intentions and he smiled. �I do like this side of you.�
�I can tell.� She was working her way down his chest, kissing him, loving him and he just lay there and enjoyed it. The feel of a woman like this making love to him, what more could he want?
* * *
He was almost asleep, in that perfect place where he was still aware of where he was and the warmth around him and the body pressing against him, the sound of the clock ticking, the creak of the staircase. But he also had the feeling of drifting, lazily, his head placed on a pillow as he fell into bed, sleep. Sleeping with her, right here on the couch, her hand still gripping his, the sound of her voice screaming his name. He looked up again, slowly reached over and turned the lamp off and she moaned and pressed tighter against him.
�I love you.� Barely audible, probably said in a dream rather than to him. But it was the first time he�d heard her say the words, and it felt damn good.